[Music]
live from london
and streaming around the world
everything you'll see tonight is
completely
improvised this is mischief movie night
in
please welcome your host oscar
hello hello everyone
welcome back welcome to mischief movie
night in
how exciting is this
we are streaming live from our comedy
bunker we
have an incredible array of different
people and different countries
tuning in right now so if you're
watching from australia good morning if
you're watching from america good
evening
and if you're watching from the uk why
it's gone midnight
but thank you so much for being here
everything you see tonight is completely
improvised
including the musical stylings of our
amazing house band
it's ashani and richard let's give them
some love
we're joined by our amazing technical
team and camera team and of course our
amazing mischief improvising cast
[Applause]
this is incredible i am so so
excited to share this evening with you
all welcome to mischief movie night
my name is oscar and here in my home
cinema i have every single film that has
ever been made in fact
i have every single film you could ever
possibly imagine
and tonight we are gonna watch one film
from my infinite collection of movies
but which one we watch is entirely down
to
all of you the people all around the
world from the philippines to hungary to
brisbane to
new york to wherever you are um so let's
start by meeting our amazing zoom
audience give us a wave lovely zoom
audience
there they all are fantastic fantastic
um
so what i want to know is what genre of
film do you want to watch this evening
so first of all let's go to the teal
family give us a wave the teal family
um we're thinking hello we're thinking a
musical heist
a musical heist wow a musical heist and
where are you guys in the world
and we're in brisbane australia
fantastic fantastic good morning
musical heist wonderful thank you so
much and now let's speak to elian
elliot give us a wife alien
hello hello um ellie and where are you
oh hi um i'm in watford you're in
watford and i've just put two and two
together by reading some of the chat
messages
is it your birthday elliot yeah
happy birthday
[Applause]
happy birthday um and what would you
like to see this evening
um animation no i'm joking uh
disney disney perfect a disney movie
that would be lovely a midnight disney
would be absolutely sensational um and
then let's speak to
rochelle and matty
give us a little wave so our very
wonderful camera
team can find you there they are they're
here in this box here
right there seamless hello
good evening guys where are you we're in
colorado
colorado fantastic it's so exciting it
really is
um and what would you like to see this
evening
we wanted to do a doctor drama like
grey's anatomy
okay brilliant a doctor like a hospital
drama
fantastic fantastic brilliant okay what
we're going to do now is we are going to
put this
in the hands of democracy so we're going
to have a vote so if you want
a musical heist a musical heist
then i want you to vote for a if you
want to see look at that technical
error that's that's all meant to happen
if you want to see a musical heist i
want you to vote for option a
if you want to see a disney movie then i
want you to vote for option
b and if you want to see a hospital
drama
i want you to vote for option c so one
more time
that's musical heist oh we we our
democracy has failed us the the uh
the the poll has stopped just like i'm
not going to mention this a lot
but you know it's midnight errors will
happen
tonight it is unavoidable that people
will drop the ball
i was hoping that ball will be dropped
maybe 20 minutes in rather than two
minutes in
but that's okay and what we're gonna do
is i want you to wave like crazy
for the one that you wanna see the most
and i will do my best to work out who's
waving for what
so give me a huge wave if you wanna see
a musical heist movie
wave and go crazy that looks pretty
popular to be honest
i'm pretty sure it's that even michelle
and matty
have been won around by that even though
they suggested something else
okay so maybe it's that give me a wave
if you want to see a disney movie
tonight
it's it's more or less it's just alien
and
nicola nicola and simon but maybe
they'll be maybe if we're doing a
musical heist maybe there'll be a
disney-esque musical number within that
or of course give me a wave if you want
to see a doctor
hospital drama
no we're not doing that we're not doing
that we're watching a musical
heist movie this evening yes
fantastic and what i'd love to know is
where is this
heist set and i want to ask that to
ma matthew soberman matthew soberman
have you got a
location for us for tonight
let's say a park a park
not bad not bad okay let's let's let's
ask for a few more things a park
not bad at all what about jasmine and
julie who i think are in portsmouth
jasmine and julie what do you where
would you
like we are in portsmouth we would love
to see one in
the natural history museum natural
history museum
i think that's that's more likely to
need a heist
a park i imagine easier to break into
than
a museum so we're gonna greatly we're
gonna go for a museum we're gonna go for
a museum but don't worry
matthew silverman there is a moment in a
park which will just
blow you away um this is a amazing
musical heist it's about a heist
on a museum of all places and can
anybody remember give me a wave if
you've got a fantastic
title for this film give me a wave
um sarah and joe sarah and joe
uh now museum now you don't now museum
now you're dumb
yeah that's wonderful it's called now
museum
now you don't and it's one of the best
most
intricate intricate ice films
you will ever see um but before we watch
that obviously it's not just our
beautiful wonderful zoom
audience that are suggesting things
right now we've got people
literally all over the world on social
media tweeting in
instagramming and facebooking things
that they want to see
in tonight's show so let's go over to
the wonderful
bryony and dave in social media corner
how's it going guys
hey there we are
welcome to social media corner
uh where you have been sending in your
crazy midnight
suggestions and i'm looking forward to
seeing them so let's go
straight into facebook and have a look
we've got christine
a character who can only speak asking
questions
adjectives wrapping monologues that
would be good for harry
uh sexy standoff
a welsh cold miner we tried to do some
accidents earlier and it didn't go well
what's this okay great so award okay
from paul tandy
uh award for best hostage rescue
in a location containing no hostages
i think that fits with our museum very
well thank you paul tandy
excellent let's have a look this is
instagrams we've got spontaneous game of
tag
we did a lot of running around earlier
we did a lot of bouncing
earlier
[Laughter]
that's not part of the suggestion but
it's most unfortunately timed
phone call from a concerned parent
which is great like maybe they're in the
middle of something thank you
mister or mrs um all right this is
twitter here we go so
um a character who starts sentences with
yes or no missed it
uh guy with a questionable moustache
probably got a few of those
um who only speaks in monty python quote
oh wow very nicely right
i reckon okay yeah this one right here
we would love to see a scene where oscar
has a short
cameo role
i think if we're ever gonna do that it's
the midnight matinee so
our our tech team are frantically
working out how to make that work
and we will figure it out back to you
oscar
thanks for that guys that's wonderful
what a great suggestion
um brilliant so we know that we are
watching
a musical heist movie we know that it's
called
now museum now you don't and i can tell
you
with assurance that it begins
with an amazing amazing musical
number in the museum where we learn
all about the different things that are
stored and housed
in this museum and then we go
to our hero who's being released from
prison
everyone around the world please put
your hands
together make some noise make some
energy
for the phenomenal film that is now
museum
now you don't play
look at the skeletons of the dinosaurs
look at their skulls and marvel at
their claws if you'll take a look just
step this way there's so much to see
here new things every day there's
animals of all sorts from all over the
world
can see them throughout all time
look at the whale it's huge
and massive this place
[Music]
to is roll in
it's time to see
this place of history
roll up it's time
[Music]
of history
[Music]
yearning to do some learning
and this is the place for me
history just comes alive
in this place every corner
just wait and see
[Music]
[Applause]
it's time to see
this place
it's time to
[Music]
see
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
all right all right it's time for you to
be released
finally take these handcuffs off huh i
have to say
tom i feel good about this
me too it's been a pleasure having you
here really it has
well i really feel like a changed man
you've been just so charming you know
you've
really brightened up the place well it's
easy with an officer like you i mean
you're so handsome your suit is always
so well kept and that hat
just suits you oh well let me get these
off you
and i'll send you on your way all right
well
it's been a great five years it has tom
that's right
that's the strangest prison release
i've ever seen i particularly like the
gentle prison guard who briefly started
off quite rugged and american
and very quickly became incredibly tame
and british
play mr slates don't forget your
personal effects
oh wow everything you brought in with
you the day you were arrested the first
time
wow this a watch a wallet well all these
things seem to matter to me before but
now
i'm a changed man well uh this was in
the locker as well
it's uh an old locket there's a photo
inside i thought you might want it
suzanne wow
haven't seen her in a long time well
maybe you'll see her again now
have a good life buddy good luck tom hey
commissioner
here's your watch stamp
for old time's sake huh be careful you
end up back in here
tom you complete mappings
oh get it see it dan yeah here comes the
other side of the car
there you go wow
feels great to breathe fresh air again
huh yeah all right tom
come on let's get it over with kiss my
neck all right yeah good to see you
again
you kissed mine all right
tom it's so good to have you back i know
check the glove box
you didn't i did gold-plated pistol
oh my god you know me man yeah nicked it
from me man
yeah i like that this film is really
jovial but just sometimes there's
something quite unsettling underneath it
he's nicked it from his nan a golden
pistol why does she have that
in the director's cut there was a very
quick clip of him nicking that
from his nan i just want you all to see
this
play now give me the pistol
i've got super dollar music give me that
pistol or i'll get granddad to kill you
there he is she
[Laughter]
anyway we got back to the main movie
play it was actually quite a violent
exchange is that a golden tooth around
you
yeah my granddad shot his neighbour then
shot my grandma
and then we pulled out her teeth
[Laughter]
clapping christmas at the sparks
dan you look great man oh
thanks tom you know i feel great and i
feel great because
i've got my best friend back oh stop you
know
thanks for writing to me while i was in
the joint it really helped me you know
getting those letters every week oh well
thanks for teaching me how to write
[Laughter]
well you know i've always been there for
you you've always been there for me
i uh no she got the locket on
yeah well you know i went in the prison
with a lockheed and they gave me it on
the way out
have you seen her yeah i've seen her
she's got a job done at the museum
natural history music yeah that's the
one is they're ready arthur
[Laughter]
where's the only one i care about right
then science
nah fashion nah
history not natural history banging
now she always wanted to work there yeah
i know
look tom you're not you're not thinking
about
theater mariah she broke your heart mate
yeah well you know i feel like maybe
i've changed somewhat in prison and
people change maybe she has too
tom my uh i love you mate but
i'm not in the game anymore so if you've
got a plan
count me out all right and the game
anymore
no look i know about the shipment coming
in to the natural history museum all
right
i'm not stupid what about the other guys
the team i was kind of hoping we'd get
the gang back together you know
wow steely really damn
steely dan a lot of dans in this team
steely dad well that's why we call him
steely dan
yeah you're dan he's steely dan he's
only got one leg now
well maybe we should have called him one
leg dead we should never get there
pause pause yeah a lot of dans
coming up in this movie a lot of
characters all
called dan or nan it would seem
play what about sharp dance sharp dan
he's dead
is he yeah completely dead
and uh there's always a doofus that guy
tech
she's still about tech dan tech dan yeah
danielle
danielle the techie wow she's about
what's she doing there
she's working at curry's pc world
but enough about the history of the team
i'm so
interrupt i just want to point out dan's
steering
of this car they appear to be just going
down one long
slightly higgledy piggledy road just
miles and miles of just very very small
turns keep your eyes peeled play
just forget about the old team all right
just put all that out your mind
all right well try but you know i
that's what kept me going in prison you
know remembering the good old days
hold on
oh i was nervous about that one yeah
well dan maybe
tom dan i'm dan your top tom just maybe
think about getting a job you know
job yeah forget about susan a job where
you you do a job and you earn money
oh you don't steal it look
[Music]
listen tom i can't lose you again
all right you're in my life once and
i lost you for five years i've never
been more sad in my life
and when i saw susan break your heart it
broke my heart
there's a lot going on at that time dan
it was a big job
big job that we messed up we lost big
dan
yeah i'll never forgive myself for that
day big damn was always so full of life
the biggest smile on him christ what a
guy
[Laughter]
you guys are the best he was always
saying great things like that
i remember one of the things he used to
say to you all the time
how did you get down that drainpipe
you were always great with a dream fight
yeah that's why they call me the slit
hey dan your watch
you bastard for old time's sake
pause pause yeah and as this scene comes
to an end soon we go
to this kind of special effects scene in
the national history muse in the in the
national history museum and we meet
suzanne and we find out this new
shipment but this scene
ends with a really cool rap and we learn
a little bit about um we learn a little
bit about their relationship exactly
what dan
feels towards tom and also you know how
they're stuck in this thing of like the
idea of
of getting a job and throwing this life
of crime away
and reuniting the old gang of dams play
just tom promise me all right you'll
just
stay away from the natural history
museum and stay away from crime
yeah just listen bro all right i got you
back
i ate the [ __ ] i got it back
now it's late here and
our our inhibitions are maybe
slightly looser but i do have to
remember remind people that although it
is midnight here
in australia in brisbane for example
where a lot of young
families are congregating it is still
very much
family time play promise me
you won't wear no disguise for my
language i must apologize
because you tom you're the man if anyone
can rob a bank you can
but when i lost you bro i lost my soul
no dan
i love you man but you gotta listen i
need your back
we need to go out there we need to
attack get in the field get a stack
of gold sit on top like kings on top of
a mountain bull
it's me and you together for always
brothers for life
peace all right dan that's me
tom i gotta say you've convinced me
let's go
great oh he's an easily convinced man
just say it and he'll jump straight in
your van
he's an easily convinced man
just say the word and he'll jump in the
van
yo i'm glad i got you back bro as my man
my main brother in
arms yeah i love you man me and you just
the two of us in this car
getting our crew back together one more
time for a big heist where we're gonna
get all the dimes
me and you you're my main man in this
car it's time to leave
say the word say the word say the word
[Music]
[Laughter]
i said to him i said that's not a tusk
this
is a task uh he was holding up something
quite different
it's amazing what you know about us
oh yeah then in the difference between
different tasks i'm so
glad that we employed you that we got
you in to help us and you've done
such a good job of cleaning all these
bones up i do love the bow you've
polished the tail up just
just lovely it's very important you know
it's like i was saying to you yesterday
like discipline
is absolutely crucial i just want to
make sure i'm 100 committed
absolutely and you've come all the way
from australia australia
oh yeah that's right i'm from london and
i'm picking up on your accent oh that
happened
oh that happens a lot my my aunt maud is
like that she went to blackpool
and ended up living there actually it
was really amazing
i've got uh you've been doing a great
job here
thanks beneath i know uh you've
had a hard day learning that you're
your ex-man he got out of prison i heard
how you feeling about it you look
worried yeah
i suppose i am i am worried you're right
it's just
have you ever sort of you know been on a
good path
and then felt like there's just
temptations along the way
yeah that's why i took up karate
i would love to see something yeah i'm a
black belt
pause yeah there's definitely time for a
very quick clip
of her in a in a competitive
karate fight
it's special effects scene for sure
[Laughter]
oh i don't believe she's very good at
that we go back
to the main movie back to the main movie
oh
dear me play that sounds
incredible yeah so he just sort of
caught you by the foot
and then wow caught me by the foot but i
just
took him straight out with my main
karate chop that is incr
wow what a you know that's what i need i
just need to be a bit more
kick-ass you know i've always been i
guess kind of
consumed with my archaeological books
and archaeological digs and
that's kickoff susan oh that's
listen books are kick-ass that's what i
tell my kids and that's what i will
always tell my kids i work in this
museum
because learning is cool
and i won't let anyone say different no
you're absolutely right
listen i just don't want you to have a
bad day hearing about your man
and we've got this lovely big shipment
coming i know i'm so excited very
expensive
rare jewelry jewels
of animal animal jewellery
from the egyptian times where they
dressed all their animals in the most
amazing jewels i just i can't wait for
the exhibit
i'm absolutely pumped it's the most
expensive thing
we've got in the museum i will
absolutely honor and guard it with my
life
that is a promise yes suzanne that makes
me a happy woman
animal jewels mean more to me well this
museum means more to me
and your trust in me means more to me
than anything i trust in you and that's
why i've put you on guard there
to man the lasers i mean it's it's
literally i've had a look
i've been down there yeah it's there's
lasers
there is a swinging axe oh my god
no we've got it we've got it kept under
sounds like a sort of medieval display
it is susan it is pretty spectacular
now i've got some dusting of my own to
do
you want to carry on with the neck yes
you carry on with the neck and make sure
to get down there have a look at the
lasers how they're working
and uh yeah really proud of you both oh
thank you so much
hello i'm here for the hostages
thank you for your help you know that's
the third time they've been here this
week
it drives me bad oh my gosh
yeah pause and that scene ends on a very
confusing note
but now we go back we go back to dan
and tom slates and they're cruising
around the neighborhood
putting back the gang and they stop
immediately
at steely dan's place play
this is the street right yeah this is
the one
bonjour boys come in and listen to some
verdi
there he is
come on take a sun around you each it's
lovely by the swimming pool
wow steely dan you son of a [ __ ]
well my my my five years and still
exactly the same boy
that's right five years and still
exactly the same hat
so tell me you're getting the back the
band back together
that's right i'm getting the band back
together steely dan
well have i lost it
that's the question you're asking
yourself isn't it you've been reeling in
the ears
is that what you're trying to say i'm
saying you came in here wearing a pair
of trousers did you not
that's right i did i see your trousers
are still on mm-hmm so
mine mm-hmm oh all right
you wanted to say
to come in again i'll try to whip them
absolutely unacceptable what's just
happened here so
i was trying to impress you but it's
obviously failed
well it seems like you're the same old
steely dan always trying to get our
knickers off
well if you'll have me i would very much
like
to be part of the team oh yeah we need
the money man
yeah we've been reading the paper this
morning the natural history museum has
some rare animal jewels from ancient
egypt coming in
worth millions and millions of pounds
do you think i don't know that i've got
a divorce to pay for
got a divorce oh my god i didn't know
you and sarah huh
yeah unfortunately two bits of dust in
the wind
big time i'm sorry i still i'll still
see you've
got teeth over here
yes teeth is my bodyguard
teeth don't try anything boys my teeth
are faster than a
nun's nugget looks like he's got a good
pair of teeth on it those could be
useful
tc dan is a very helpful
just want to show you very quickly his
teeth
and a nun's nugget and i want
just so you can see which one is faster
also because i want to learn what a
nun's nugget is
play you got your nugget mother
superior ready to go
three two one
my teeth are definitely faster your
nugget is essentially
stationary god damn it
we got back to the main movie back to
the main movie
and yeah obviously the band is almost
totally back together
but of course there is one missing piece
to this incredible jigsaw play teeth
those teeth could come in useful come
here a minute
do you catch a bullet with those teeth
can i not catch a bullet that's the
question
[Laughter]
sorry i thought you could do that yeah
well i was over
overconfident but my teeth are pretty
fast
steve with a bit of training i'm sure
you'll get there okay au revoir boys
i'll see you at the base oh done i have
a quick word
of course you join me in the jacuzzi of
course
i'm a bit worried about tom look you
know we're going back to the natural
history museum but you know who's there
yes his ex flame yeah
he's still the flame still burns hot
damn yeah well i've got some bad news
for you
what the flame no longer burns for him
from her side that is bad news i've
heard rumors that she's seeing someone
else
really i can't see i can't see his heart
break again
listen you're a good friend let's
chat about this some more later damn
it's time to go find tech danielle she's
the last piece in the puzzle i'll keep
an eye on it
there you go see you later steely dan
hey yeah
your watch you bastard
come on
welcome to curry's um
yeah no i think your laptop is a laptop
yeah well i had a big problem with it it
says error 409.
[Laughter]
and i called the helpline and they put
me on hold i don't appreciate being put
on hold from all the 10 minutes
there's just a bit of food in one of the
keys so i like sausage
so you can't it's smushed into one of
the keys so you need to get that out
if i snack while i work that's my
priority i already have
priorities it's very late
yeah no it's all fixed i've fixed it
pause yeah this definitely
turns into a song between these two a
kind of rock
number about customer service and the
handling of complaints play
if you've got a complaint you're gonna
have to take up with the manager because
i've had a long day as well all right
complaints a go homer dial
[Music]
on 0-800-456-9955 for 27 minutes and
it's driving me
crazy you gotta take it off with a
manager
you gotta take it out with someone else
you gotta take it up with the manager
cause i got too much on my own shelf
i gotta take it up with the manager
i gotta take it off with someone else
[Music]
the son of a [ __ ] no way
that's right no they
they let you out that's right they can't
keep tom in the slammer for too long
you you can't believe you're here
it's so good to see you working in
curries huh yeah working in curry's it's
really it's really been fabulous
it's the money you're on at the moment
six pound 49 an hour
all right not paying those bills huh no
it's not paying the bills it's not
paying anything
remember when we used to go around and
we would ah and i would help you get
into those places and we'd steal
money and i was living the high life and
now six pound 49 an
hour that's right well good news getting
the gang back together
one more time all the dams all the debt
well except big dan
big dan is he dead yes he's daddy
you guys sure are swell that was a real
show
what was he always saying to you tech
danielle how do you always get down that
drain pipe
oh me and other dan used to slip down
drain pipes together
that's me yeah oh my god yeah
dad wasn't just at your computer oh
oh i see you've put a virus in it nice
slippery old deal you know it's funny
that you two never ended up i always
thought you were sweet on each other
years ago
oh no life gets in the way
did have fun down that drone pipe though
yeah lovely time in the drain pipe
a couple of spiders yeah it's also
creeping up that dress
slit onto each other anyway
you still got it check can you still
work the keys do you mean can i still
code yes
oh my god i can tap into
any place you need tapped go go ahead
show me what's my emails i can get you
up all the screens in the local police
stations
it's webcams oh my god yeah it's pretty
quicker than before
daniel welcome back there's a little bit
where she goes onto the security cam
of that gentle prison guard who we saw
earlier
and we see what he's up to at the moment
play look at this guy i've been
following him for a while
just watch his webcam all right
oh a video of some cats
oh they're cuddling
it's lovely well
time for the pornography
it's a family show in brisbane it's only
late night here
we go back to that already i've got no
way of escaping them
but yeah i want to see more of that guy
look i've got so much more i can show
you honestly i can get you into anywhere
you want to get into i've got all the
tricks
even natural history museum
oh you guys are going big this time
that's right never go small natural
history oh this is about i've seen
articles about this
the new animal jewelry that they're
shipping in
that's right apparently it's the most
valuable thing they have in the natural
history museum
three billion pounds three billion
pounds we're going to lift it from right
under their nose
it doesn't say much yeah i don't need to
not with teeth like these
he's been in a few times i've fixed up
your microphones
i break a lot of microphones chewing
them up i bet
recording my voiceovers and then
suddenly bam microphone is down
i mean look it would mean so much to me
to get out of here and be part of the
team again
if you'll have me well we can't have the
old team without you danielle how about
you go to your manager now
flip him the bird we'll walk back to the
old
heist joint i will hey manager
hey where's my watch bun job eyes
you bastard
i gotta take it up with you
i'm leaving now so you better
let me go
danielle this is incredibly honest i've
spotted you now and i'm leaving
sorry mate you're just not paid enough
minimum wage isn't enough
you just got ticked yeah she's the worst
employee
we've ever had i'm sad to see you all
here
and happy to see her go get out of pc
world
forever fine and we'll make our way to
the heist joint
[Music]
yeah look at us now if back as a team
no one else can do what we can
[Music]
all right here we are yeah
god there's some cobwebs on this old
place huh
oh my god look a picture of
a picture of big dan yeah and i'm
throwing thoughts at it
that's right the kind of people we are
move on
on to the next job let's get all this
down
it's time for our new plan the natural
history museum susan
come along my darling how are we today
oh
pretty excellent thank you yeah
excellent i'm afraid i'd had to
fire that uh other girl wasn't working
out you know
oh how come i i thought she was doing
wonderfully
no no no we're downsizing i'm uh
rather in need of some cash at the
moment and
i'm having to reduce the numbers a
little that's all
is the museum struggling no no it's all
fine it's just uh
there have been some discrepancies among
the accounts nothing to worry about at
all
nothing to worry your pretty little head
over you say that but you look sort of
worried and sinister at the same time
that's just my resting state sinister
looking man
of course well
i'm still very happy to to be in charge
of security
as needed and happy to be my girlfriend
aren't you
aren't you yes absolutely you better be
i am i i feel very safe with you
i've been burned in the past but this
seems like a much better situation
exactly
now i'm off to my office for the night
i'll leave you here to look after
the jewelry great well sleep well
and uh i know we're doing sort of
separate beds and stuff at the moment
but let me know if you change your mind
yes yes i will i like my space yes
absolutely
i have a lot of personal boundaries
those are really good
we will break those down eventually
i'm enjoying myself
susan good to see you again what
no ugh
[Music]
you got my watch yes sorry you bastard
just old habits you know i came here to
say
i got a surprise for you is it balloons
i don't like balloons
no it's not balloons suzanne the son of
a [ __ ]
i hate
i'll leave you two alone god damn it you
still got that strong right arm
huh what are you doing here this is i'm
not i'm not who i was and you are who
you were
and we're not together anymore and i
don't want to see you i know suzanne you
broke my heart but what can i say
you just do things to me
look i'm on the straight and narrow okay
i'm in charge of lasers
and animal jewelry for the first time in
my life
don't look at me like that with your big
eyes
and your brows no stop it no
why are you here go away i thought you
like my brows
i used to used to funny word
tommy you say that i broke your heart
i wanted so much for us
i wanted a home and a family and a life
that's why i left you because i knew
you'd never change
suzanne you can't do that stuff without
money and that's what i was trying to do
i was trying to get money
to provide for our family your parents
never had money my parents never had
money and they were happy
and we were happy we could have done it
but you were too much of a coward too
stuck with
big dan small dan teetha dan weird dan i
can't remember
you don't talk about wigs he's not
invited back
his name he comes in the room that's why
it's weird he's just always there
listen suzanne got a big job
it's the final big job that'll
be our big ticket out of here pause yeah
this is a really
important scene in my opinion because it
shows that tom
isn't really the leader ultimately it
was always
suzanne and you see that behind all the
bravado
he needs her more than anything
play this wasn't always my life must
remember that
you're right i guess i i do share
responsibility for that in some way i
did get you into it in the first place
you brought me in i was on the straight
and narrow myself
i was going to businesses
i misread the situation i always have
listen i
this job it's gonna be the biggest job
we've ever done steely dan has this
great idea
about how we're going to get in we're
going to pose his window cleaners
we're going to slip up through the top
and then tech danielle
she's going to use her tech wizardry to
shut off all the cameras
you're on the inside that was always
your job
it works out perfectly because you're
here right now
listen i can't do this without you
i'm not just talking about the job what
else are you talking about
where did you go what do you think
here's your watch what oh you son of a
[ __ ]
listen we can't do this without our
original boss
so if you want in great
but if you don't we might all end up in
the slammer together
you know what steely dan's like he won't
survive a day
he was always a vulnerable little puppy
still is he still got the same hat you
got him
it would make me feel alive i'm trapped
in a relationship with a sinister old
man i don't know how i got here
what you're seeing someone else yeah
oh what happened i don't
who the hell is this
it's no one this must be the famous tom
i'm not famous that's very flattering
i've heard a lot about you
criminal aim he's reformed he's out of
prison
colonel sanders please there's nothing
to worry about
please tom was just leaving weren't you
tom
that's right i hope so we don't like
criminal types around here
i see you on the property again i'll
have suzanne
shoot you dead where you stand he's not
joking that's illegal sir
oh i have it done all the time
all right let's go come on single bed's
a go-go
tom you won't be seen round here again
right
no but 10 o'clock
on the 31st that's all i'm gonna say
means nothing
pause yeah tom has many skills
subtlety he's certainly not one of them
but yeah this movie is coming into its
kind of
it's fine it's coming into its final
15 minutes we know they're gonna pose as
window cleaners we know it is
hugely hugely incumbent on whether
suzanne
is there on the inside and of course as
this movie comes to an end we still have
some of our rewards
to work in but now we go to the outside
of the museum and we see our guys
dressed
as window cleaners play
what do you mean you're told in the date
and time of the robbery well
you know i panicked i haven't seen her
in a long time the owner of the museum
the date and time of when we're gonna
rob him well i tried to pass it off as
it was my birthday but he
didn't believe that bonjour boys what do
window cleaners look like
that's perfect teeth what do you think
i've dressed them up pretty good hey
just want more for you and you are ready
to go
steely dan and normal dan look far
better than me and teeth
i've aligned each one of your suits
with a special chemical that allows you
to be extra slippery in order to get
into the building
and uh i want to give you all one of
these miniature dictaphones
just press and absolutely everything
that is said
will be perfectly recorded as evidence
for later are you making a joke
because this is a serious moment all of
us could be behind bars this time
tomorrow
yeah switch on teeth hey boys boys boys
i've got a bit of oh it's me
i was hired by this man
here to teach you all how to clean the
windows
and how do you produce so in the form of
a limerick
of course in song
[Applause]
there once was a man called findo who
wanted to clean a window
he went scuba dub then he went home and
then he all had a window
pause
[Applause]
what an idiot he was a skiller
killer ridiculous
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
well i think that probably
is all my work done you know how to
clean the windows
yeah i'm sorry about hiring him guys but
you know what
cost too high a thousand dollars
did you have to pay in advance yeah cash
oh
wow guys we are i just want to say
i thought i was going to do better than
that
[Applause]
anyway back
improves quickly after that cameo play t
minus two minutes away from your first
entrance
synchronized watches everybody sorry
guys
[Music]
hello
she's worried about my iron supplements
oh hello
i don't know i am supplementing
how are you for money are you all right
i'm all right i'm hopeful i could
i could buy a hundred quid if you need
any questions then you've got to get on
the property ladder at some point
i know i'm sorry the mortgage fell free
maybe you get married soon son
oh dude get mad because we want
grandchildren we don't want to give you
children
can i call you back okay all right love
you
i love you too bye bye yeah we're idiots
yeah
that weird dan yeah don't say his name
i'm sorry
all right synchronize watches i'll be on
the outside waiting for you all
and i'll be unplugging the lasers
at the correct moment perfect we'll
speak to you on the old
dictor i'll be in the drain pipe if
anyone needs me
off he goes i'm waiting for you in the
[Music]
bag
pause rewind
[Laughter]
pause play
rewind
[Laughter]
pause and now we're gonna play it in the
slowest emotions
never try to take revenge on a small
bitter man when it's gone past his
bedtime
because it'll just make you go slow for
15 minutes
play in slow motion play
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
can you hear me i'm on the top floor i
can see you i've got eyes on you
all right laser cut in the window pause
pause yeah and
it's really cool because eventually
obviously when they go down to
the to the animal jewel we we see that
in the special effects sequence with
this amazing kind of lasers everywhere
kind of ducking and diving scene play
that's top of glass lasers won't get
through there you need
teeth nice one
there's an axe watch out oh i stole it
oh my god you are good
all right next stop lasers
[Music]
be careful if one of those is to
touch you it will saw your
ligaments right off ligaments
yeah not the limbs just inside the limbs
it gets inside your body sores off your
ligaments
and leaves you in one piece on the
outside terrific
okay then be careful
you gotta climb on me back all right
reach up
careful careful
careful oh i got your mate all right
i'm going ass first oh my gosh get the
ring with your arms
you got it i've got it oh
it won't move no it's a hologram oh no
you need you need to go through
the laser's suzanne
you're here i love you tom deactivate
lasers laters damn
you son of a [ __ ] all right listen i
got your watch
we don't have much time colonel sanders
will know that we're up here
grab the jewelry and run then come for
me okay where will you be
i'll be in my single bed all right all
right
come on tom we got to get out of here
[Music]
i'll try again i'll try again
no we haven't got quite got a grip on it
okay
okay ready three two one
[Laughter]
i was disguised as the jewel my god
it's still there guys yes it's all a
hologram
so you thought you could come in here
and steal from me
dan colonel sanders he broached the van
before disguising himself i think
i think it's my last breath
okay i got it in my teeth that's right
keep it in your teeth we need to keep it
safe
you're seeing steely damn oh god
stealing that thank god
tom's injured back there all right but
we gotta get out gotta start the car we
gotta get out of here as soon as
possible
that's right you got the car ready i'm
gonna try and find tom
right you are
you didn't see me in the back of the van
i was waiting
i was yeah doing this guys get him in
the car come on get inside
yeah me too oh god got me in the elbow
we got everyone
you've got to take them to a hospital no
no no no no hospital
no hospital they'll start questions just
get it out of here get back to the
warehouse
not if i can help it
oh incredible incredible yeah there's
some
there's some amazing special effects 3d
stuff but it would seem that dan no
teeth teeth caught the bullet in
his mouth that time he actually managed
it and he saved the
he he's kind of saved the car but also
the steering wheel
has flown off play
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
all of you all right all right no one
has to get hurt here
suzanne colonel i i i caught them all i
i got them they were trying to take the
jewels
you've done brilliantly well done just
lower your gun and
and we can call the police well done
suzanne well done
thank you i am going to need you to do
one thing for me though
what is it shoot him
shoot him dead where he stand that's
illegal
illegal you're stealing something right
now
you know the meaning of the word illegal
and you don't know
that the thing you're stealing isn't
even worth a penny
what i'm afraid there's only one person
who's gonna get shot around here
the one guy who's not swell
i'm dead weird dan you son of a [ __ ]
i think that's big dan the guy who we
keep who they thought was dead
obviously it's now gone 1am so our grasp
on reality and the plot of this movie is
becoming
tenuous so it starts it starts to wrap
up now it starts to wrap
up as cleanly and neatly
as we can manage play i win again
wait a minute
you are big dan we're dan
big dad same guy sometimes i just need
to
cut loose oh my god we thought you were
dead
of course everybody always thinks i'm
dead big dad
never did leave you always wondering how
he slid down that drain pipe see you
next time
that's just how he died before ah tom
i'm sorry mate i think i'm done
no done yeah you were shot
yeah colonel saunders shot came into the
van
shot me in the van and then disguised
himself as the jewels and
shot you too danielle
i just want to say i've always loved you
loved you too dan they're here
have your watch back are you sneaky
no done
we'll slide up the drainpipe of life
together
as little spiders of love
climbing up to the top of the spout
to live together in heaven
i love you dan take the watch
those sons of [ __ ]
god damn it i'm sorry tom
we have nothing actually tom i
have something i didn't tell you the
bullet
it um well oh my
dad jesus no i'm sorry
here have your watch back
you bastards
i have no one
okay my love that's all of them
shall we that's right
oh but me and you you're looking very
handsome if i may say so
nice brows thank you i've been polishing
them okay
here's the real animal jewels great you
got my email
you know this is worth three billion
dollars where do you want to go first
aruba bahama
lovely pretty mama
what do you fancy i'll go anywhere as
long as it's with you
i wish i could get closer to your face
right now pause pause but they mustn't
because of the pandemic so they must if
anything move a little bit further apart
a little bit further yeah it seems
they've pulled a fast one
and this this amazing movie um comes to
a fantastic end and i'm sure it comes to
an end
with a brilliant song involving all the
cast
even though most of them are dead
play it feels good to be doing bad
things again you know i
i had to pretend to be an archaeologist
for a really long time
and that's not easy well now we don't
have to pretend to be
anything we can be anyone we want to be
god i'm gonna be
i'm gonna be a rich american woman
dripping in jewels with a hundred lovers
what oh you're one lover all right
i'm gonna be a rich american man and
we're gonna rule
the world me and you one heist at a time
one
heist at a time
i feel it pulsing through me i feel it
in my veins
i feel it in my head i feel it
in my brain heistin runs right through
me
now this is my choice i'm gonna go
out in the world and hear my voice
well i thought i was good
[Music]
on
[Music]
i will or i won't
[Music]
museums
[Applause]
even though i'm dead i still feel alive
[Music]
i've lost so many watches in my
time and i don't know what to do with
this ride
we don't always get what we want
but the heist is over and things turned
out fine
even though we all died
[Applause]
now you know
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you so so much everyone
watching all around the world we hope
you have enjoyed
this pretty crazy midnight marinade it's
been an absolute pleasure
to tell a story and just just have some
fun tonight it really has um
for people who've been watching most of
these shows you will know that it's not
just us in this room improvising anymore
and getting involved
there are people making amazing
improvised posters and artwork for this
show
as we go along so the amazing guys at
big and angry media
have made this look at that the poster
for the movie
look at that they just get better they
just get better they better
phenomenal phenomenal um it's it's it's
well gone one o'clock in the morning now
we are back
later today believe it or not we're back
doing the matinee at two o'clock so
join us see what is left of our sanity
four sorry it is four we're back at four
later today so four in the afternoon
on sunday and then we've got another one
at 8pm
that same day so join us as we
slowly lose the plot potentially or make
amazing movies
based on your suggestions and also just
to remind you that we've added a few
more shows so we've got 10
more shows we're going on until the 21st
of february we've got some really cool
specials in that run as well
we're doing a valentine's day special on
the 14th and in the first week
um on sunday the ninth i think on the
side
it's very late but sunday on the ninth
or something like that
we're doing a special sequel sunday so
that means we'll improvise a movie
and then we'll improvise the sequel of
that movie so we'll collect totally
different information than normal but
we'll do the sequel to a movie as well
um so they're they're definitely
they will be the last shows that we do
before we all go off and film another
project so do get tickets for that
thank you so so much until we can all be
together and we can have this place
full of people probably at a more
practical hour stay safe
keep laughing and we'll see you on the
other side of all this good night and
thanks so much for joining us bye
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
up
[Music]
up
[Music]
did it
[Music]
foreign