[Music]
live from london
and streaming around the world
everything you'll see tonight is
completely
improvised this is mischief movie night
in
please welcome your host oscar
yes hello
[Applause]
hello welcome to mischief movie night in
it is so so excellent to be back tonight
broadcasting streaming live from our
undisclosed comedy
bunker without any further ado i'm going
to remind you everything you see tonight
is completely improvised including the
work of our amazing
house band it's a shawnee and richard
and let's give some love to our amazing
technicians and camera team and of
course
our mischief improvised cast for the
night
[Music]
this is so so so exciting
this is brilliant saturday night i
cannot wait for it
welcome to mischief movie night in my
name is
oscar and here in my home cinema i have
every single film that has ever been
made
in fact i have every film you could ever
possibly imagine
and tonight we're gonna watch one of the
films from my infinite collection of
movies
but which one we watch is entirely up to
you the audience at home
watching around the world we've got an
incredible 33 countries
tuning in this evening so without any
further ado
let's meet our amazing zoom audience
there they all are give us a wave zoom
audience
there they are there they are so let's
meet
let's meet the daniels family first of
all let's meet the daniels
family um there we are hey guys
that's great there's so many of you
there's so many of you that's
brilliant almost a full audience in
yourself um so what
genre of film would you like to see
tonight guys
we were thinking of yeah a cheesy
um like cheap low budget american soap
opera
yeah okay a soap opera i think low
budget is something we can definitely do
yeah like a kind of soap opera story
fantastic brilliant thank you so much
guys
and now i would like to speak to the
cunninghams particularly to little isla
come on in guys hello hello
you can see the balloons in the
background and that is because it's
isla's birthday is that right
hey
how old are you today aila i'm 12.
12. oh fantastic congratulations
um and what would you like to see
tonight isla what genre of film
like a superhero action-packed film
superhero film that is action-packed we
can definitely do that superhero oh soap
opera
brilliant thank you so so much i'll
speak to you soon um and then
let's also speak let's speak to sam
and sean and izzy as well
hi hello there's balloons in the
background again who i believe it was
someone's birthday yesterday
yeah sean happy birthday sean
fantastic fantastic and what genre of
film would you guys like to watch
um a really creepy
thriller creepy thriller would be ideal
yeah creepy thriller that would be ideal
fantastic
brilliant that's very very exciting
you've got a lot of noises
being made from the cast some of them
are shaking their heads
some of them are oohing who knows what
that means brilliant okay
so what we're going to do now is we're
going to open this up to the democratic
process the people will decide what we
watch tonight
so if you want to see a soap opera a low
budget soap opera movie
then i want you to vote for option a
when it comes up on the poll
if you want to see a superhero movie i
want you to vote for option
b and of course if you want a creepy
thriller i want you to vote
for option c so that's a for soap opera
b for superhero
and c for thriller let the voting
commence
now
oh the votes are in and i'm gonna put my
glasses on
it's b it's a superhero movie
brilliant excellent happy birthday isla
and commiserations
sean the other birthday who didn't win
um
so we're gonna see a superhero movie
tonight so what i would need now is a
fantastic location
for this film so i'm gonna speak to matt
and kathleen matt and kathleen
hey how are you very good how are you
guys
whereabouts in the world are you coming
are you right now
virginia virginia and and
matt what is your job could you remind
me
so i work in it and i also coach improv
part time to high schoolers
you know brilliant
i i have a feeling that you're
definitely going to either appear
in this movie or if it's going very
badly offer criticism and critique
to our cast tonight um where would you
guys like this film to be set
uh we would love this to be set in an
aquarium an aquarium that is brilliant
i'm taking that
that's excellent an aquarium superhero
this all it's already adding up to make
something phenomenal
and what i need now is give me a wave
zoom audience
if someone already waving just very very
compliant
um i want um a title for tonight's film
so it's a superhero movie
it's set in an aquarium what is the
title give me a wave oh
the the the the the the dalgarnos are
waving a lot the delgados what would you
like this movie to be called
the suicide squid the suicide squid
[Laughter]
very very good i i i was a beat late but
that's very very clever yeah the suicide
squid fantastic brilliant yeah it's
called the suicide squid
gonna find out maybe that means it's a
kind of team of superheroes
this i i i i'm so excited to
i love doing superhero movies i'm so so
excited
um but before we watch the movie
obviously it's not just our beautiful
zoom audience who are suggesting things
we have people literally
all around the world we've got thousands
of people joining us tonight
and you've been tweeting in and
facebooking and instagraming with things
that you
want our movie to be full of tonight so
we're going to go to social media corner
with the wonderful bryony and dave how's
it going guys
hello welcome to social media corner
yes where you have been sending in all
of your excellent
suggestions and i'm very excited to
see them so let's crack straight on with
facebook okay here we go a character
scuba diver who's trying to get over a
water phobia very good
work very
tickets booked and ready glad you're
here soon good to have you
flashback that's good i like that
dramatic pattern cake what's this award
for most
all right amy award for most poorly
themed restaurants
locations i think we could we could
definitely definitely do that for you
amy
let's have a look at the next one
instagram we got here we are on
instagram sensual dave hearn moment
that's me
in cinema history i'll give that to you
now
there you go
all right what about this one from kate
emotion yes
oh my god that's great most emotional
thumb war i think we could definitely
deliver on that i think that's hilarious
good yeah all right let's have a look at
the final one on twitter
okay this is good all right mother
tresemme oh copyright issues
sorry yeah um serial killer who sings
country wested songs very nice that's
good
character suggestion wanna be okay let's
have a look at this one yeah we haven't
had a character yet from
from g character suggestion what a b
mind reader
who attempts to predict what other
people are about to say or thinking or
about to do but i assume is probably
fairly inept uh thank you very much g
yeah we'll go with that
so we've got the mind reader we got
thumb war some war
and you got it the restaurant there it
is yes
the restaurant thank you very much back
to you oscar amazing thank you
so much guys so we have everything that
we need
for what i think is going to be a
sensational
movie the suicide squid or just suicide
squid
is a film i've seen many many times
and it gets better the more you watch it
and it begins
with this fantastic opening scene where
we meet two characters who both
work who both work at the aquarium
they've worked there for a long
time and that's all i'm gonna say for
now we're gonna we're gonna meet those
characters and find out a little bit
about them
everyone around the world please make
some noise and show some love for the
incredible movie that is
suicide squid play
gerald lovely morning
feeding the fishies again certainly is
certainly is melissa there's nothing i
like more than the smell of
fresh fish being tossed in the shark
tank at eight in the morning
funny lad gerald getting excited about
the smell of fish i've never known
anyone like you honestly
oh and the way you wave at the octopuses
oh you're just a magical guy well you
know
octopuses are the only ones that can
wave back hello boys
greetings it's almost as though
they're talking to me well
you've always got your mind in the
clouds haven't you
i certainly have it it's it's what makes
you such a good employee
you're so caring about the animals so
loving towards them we've never had
anyone like you before
most of the people we get here they come
in they
they're nasty to fish that's the thing
you see
you can't work in an aquarium and be
nasty to the fish
no i've always found it
i've had a bit of an affinity with fish
something about them that just
speaks to me the way they swim up to the
glass
look at you morning
[Music]
morning mr fizz nice hat
what's he saying gerald he said morning
nice hats
and this one this is a great little
crowd
i love you i love you too percy
oh that's a shame that gosh first it was
me and percy went right back we arrived
at the aquarium on the same day you know
really that's why you're bombed so
strong i get it
do you know what's funnier i've always
been a little bit scared of the
underwater myself you know that feeling
you get when you're on top of it you
don't want to know what's underneath
i've got that
really yeah no i really do but you
you like to get involved you you whack
the scuba things on and you feed them
yourself sometimes and i like that
i like a guy that gets involved i'm at
my happiest but i'm
cleaning the scum off the filters
yeah in the director's cut i'm going to
show you a very quick
um kind of special effects scene where
we see him
all screwed up cleaning the scum
play you better clean my scum off this
tank
get in here and clean this stuff yeah
that's right
is something brilliant that the audience
weren't able to see then
which was our character gerald trying
desperately to put on a kind of scuba
diving
hat that was too small for his head
i hopefully hopefully that will be
shared and seen play that's right i'm a
little angel fish i got a lot of poops
you better
clean them up you need to put my helmet
on well you can't see the poop no how
are you gonna see in that thing you
stupid idiot
i'm a fish and even i know that's stupid
no you can't breathe what are you gonna
do
yeah i think i understand why that scene
didn't make it into the main cut of the
movie
we go back to the main film yeah and we
learn we learn a little bit more about
gerald
and we learn a little bit about the area
that the aquarium's in
and what it's like if it's a nice area
or if it's a tough area with problems
play
oh and uh
you there you you've you've lived here
all your life haven't you gerald oh
certainly have
i i've been in the town since i was
three years old so i suppose that's
not quite all my life but uh pink linton
town pickling to
[Music]
you're an out of towner i am yeah
i lived um much further away but i
had to move here to be um to get away
really
i'm so sorry you were thrown out of your
hometown
newcastle's a difficult place
but no but i'm happier here in pinkland
and i really am
um sorry there's me uh
bringing up all your history and all
your past and i'm sure you just don't
want to think about that you just want
to
focus on the fish i do and uh gerald
uh because you've been so great such a
good friend here
i wanted to let you in on a little a
little thing that's happening tomorrow
what's happening tomorrow well
we've got a new fish arriving a new fish
yeah that's the best thing in the world
i know
i do love new fish i know it's it's one
of the biggest
and the rarest well what what kind it's
called
the gastronomical illusion fish
the gastronomical illusion fish yeah i
i've read about them
in my fish studies at school of course
you have
they're extraordinary look it's so big
with all these different
tentacles oh they're absolutely
incredible the reason i've hit i've
heard that they can eat
mammals hole in one we're gonna have to
keep it in this tank
on its own but it's really gonna bring
people in and
it's going to make me rich
melissa what gerald well
sorry i just i just believe
fish shouldn't make people rich fish
yeah he's a fish naive
purist if ever there was one gerald
but yeah this scene comes to an end with
a little sense of foreboding and then
very quickly
we go to the next day where we see the
new fish
being delivered by some shady characters
play i believe fish should just
make people happy but that's why i want
you
to take care of it gerald i want you to
be the number one
i i know i have seen you study in the
books and i know that you know
everything there is to know about
how to look after it and well we can't
have anything going wrong with it can we
so you're the man for the job don't
worry i'll keep it safe
see you later melissa i'll see you later
gerald
bring it through here lads bring it
through here
that's right put the crate down there
yeah that'll do nicely that
nice bit of fish for the aquarium and
make us a lot of money
but boss what if it were to get out
[Music]
he's got to get out you know the plan
gary
how do you stand that's right i know the
plan
this fish is going in that aquarium to
sort the other fish out
[Music]
right that's the plan that's the plan
i planned so thin that it barely
deserves the title a plan
but that fish is going to soften what is
that
how paper thin is that but yeah
that fish obviously there's some
trepidation
about this fish and we learn we learn
little kind of fabled stories about
the gastronomical illusion fish play
you know the story don't you hmm he
hates fish
his parents were eaten by tiny little
fishes upon the egg fish
some say his soul was eaten by a fish
[Music]
he will not stop until he destroys
every aquarium not just in this country
but in the world
that's right gary i don't have a soul i
never will again
[Music]
your man were killed by fish and all i
remember
but maybe boss you could get your soul
back
if you you're filled with so much hate
you're releasing this
this monster to destroy
i mean the bite of this fish
it's horrible you've seen what it does
to the average human being that's right
i've watched it many times
of course do you not care if you put
human lives at risk of course i don't
i ate humans just as much as i ate fish
you're eating people
that's right i'm eating people as well
i caught sir this fish has closed more
aquariums
in this land than anything else and god
damn it we're gonna close this one this
is the biggest aquarium in the uk
that's right sir we're going to close it
down but if you'd love us to
help you a little you're so against
teamwork
you always want to do it on your own
i don't need anybody just me okay
[Laughter]
yeah they see that those kind of
characters they end in a really abrupt
kind of weird way and then we go back to
gerald who's gonna load the fish
into the water and we also meet another
friend of his who work
she works in the aquarium as well as
well as melissa
play boss you see he's gone
i'm always pushing people away that's
just my style
i ate fish i hate people i don't have a
soul and we are going to close that
aquarium
that's right sir you make sure that get
put in the main tank
i'll do whatever you say sir the
gastromonic oh
illusion fish
whatever it's fully called
he's gonna do me a lot of favors
oh get rid of it
[Laughter]
in this tank you know how to handle this
fish deer of course i do i've got 15
years experience of handling fish oh
you're talking to the best fish handler
this side of
dunkirk all right well i'll leave you
two if you could just sign here for me
sure of course
thanks for dropping him off you're
welcome you know you seem like a nice
young man
oh yes i'm all innocence and enthusiasm
and that's all you need when dealing
with faith all right do not
take your eye of this fish what never
yeah even in your sleep son
that's just not practical okay we'd have
to take shifts for me
yeah we'll take it in shape i'll watch
between 10 and 10
and you watch between 10 and 10.
[Laughter]
yeah watch out i've just remembered
quixotic and lovely gerald and claire
take everything literally just watch out
for that within the movie
play 10 a.m to 10 p.m
absolutely and you do 10 p.m to 10 a.m
well lovely because i don't sleep never
have
i only sleep in the day which doesn't
work for the plant we've just made
but never mind
of course bring her in and get the
photographer from the local newspapers
hello
yes illusion fish
is this i need to look at you gerald
look at me okay i'm i'm keeping i am
absolutely looking at you
but you why do you need to see me really
i should really be in charge here
so if you could just please i'm in your
mind
gerald
right just one quick look through the
porthole
i see you you
are a fish naive bath fist
a gentle soul how do you know so much
about me
i can smell every interview
yes come along the photographer oh
yeah she looks absolutely spooked
whiter
[Music]
[Laughter]
that's right just checking you had the
right gerald
look at that stun front page of the
newspaper
young man with a fish in the aquarium
just like i planned about a huge plan
i plan on destroying that aquarium
once you've destroyed the aquarium sir
then what
will he be happy do you think no
no no
you only kill all the fish in the sea
that's right
but wait no no no this man
he's a total idiot because
because all of his plans and wants
oh totally conflicted he wants
he wants to ruin this aquarium but he
also wants
all fish in the sea to be killed but
he's
dropped this fish at a localized
aquarium
keeping it away from other fish but he
also wants all humans gone
yeah he's kind of like a heath ledger
joker kind of villain
really he just wants to see the world
and the oceans within it
crumble and burn but soon we're gonna go
back to melissa
and gerald and claire because stuff is
about to get pretty super
play sorry you're scaring me a bit
you're looking a bit insane sir that's
right maybe i'm insane i got no soul no
logic
i ate fish i hate humans except you stan
you're all right thank you sir i like to
cut your gin
i like the cut of your mustard
you can't understand all right we're
using language like that in front of me
come on mr illusion let's get you
downstairs to the basement
it's majestic
have you seen them the front ledges
i couldn't borrow melissa just for a
moment gerald would you mind of course
i'll be singing to the crab oh gerald
another song good morning
yes claire your photos all over the
front page of the newspaper
people at home in newcastle from whence
you ran
are going to see it your cover might be
blown
melissa and i might have to keep talking
like this for years
i'm just saying be careful of course
be very very careful okay
i will okay i've got you back thank you
let's watch out and stay
[Applause]
[Music]
well gerald you know about the feeding
routine we're going to need you to start
straight away because we need to beef it
right up i want the
i want people to flood in through the
aquarium doors and
purchase tickets to see this amazing
beast oh gerald
don't you worry i've got the feeding
regime it'll be a plump as hell in no
time
just uh trust just me
everything's normal then lovely great
perfect
thank you gerald pause pause yeah this
is an amazing scene kind of special
effects we see
we see the fish in the water and we see
gerald go into the water
and begin the feeding and already we
know this fish
well there's something pretty strange
about it plays
yes gerald
you are a good man yeah can see
into your soul look at me daryl oh the
water
i was not born i was created
created by who by evil scientists
in a lab they made me to wipe out all
fish i cannot resist
i am a mere instrument of their will
perhaps you will be the one to save us
gerald what what do what do i need it's
very hard to move my jaw in yes
but all right perhaps the helmet is
unnecessary i'm taking it off yeah
listen it's now stuck
right okay listen
what i need to do what do i need to do
you are a good man you know fish inside
and out yes i do
you love them i can talk to them look
into my eyes geralt
i give you power
oh
i probably say i know we didn't get to
do a soap opera
but we're certainly doing low budget but
yeah it appears
it appears that he has power but now
yeah in fact let's just carry on but
soon we're gonna go back of course to
melissa and claire
because we're gonna clarify a little bit
about this incredibly interesting
backstory
save us gerald save the fish
and stop me
everything okay general you're looking a
little
oh my god oh carol
daryl what are you doing what the hell
is happening i've got
[Music]
and swim really fast welcome to the
pogo stick restaurant
[Music]
what's up you want some soup
thank you very much no i'm sorry it's
everywhere
i've gone everywhere
i'm going to leave the restaurant all
right
pause no we stay in the restaurant
and actually we have this amazing
amazing musical number
um about about all the different things
you can eat and experience in there
and they never stop jumping throughout
the musical number
play oh sir i gotta say this is the best
idea you've ever heard
that's what we do at the pogo stick
restaurants
yes that's what we do at the pogo
stick restaurant boys
[Music]
i've worked here now for 12
hours straight i am
don't stop go go go
[Music]
go
[Music]
all day long i haven't had a break
go
go go go
never stop go
[Music]
yes there's a beautiful uplifting song
with a sense of tragedy at its core but
now we go
up to the mahogany office of melissa
where claire is there as well and we
learn a little bit more about their past
but also
we start to see that a lot of the fish
are
dying they're one by one dropping away
play
mahogany smell the mahogany it's it's
mustier than i imagined
very fragrant but i like it a lot yeah
is it weight bearing is it it's
definitely way better
strongest wood there are these files you
asked for
[Laughter]
yeah fantastic wonderful
like a full desk it means you're working
hard
well you are always working hard melissa
you're you're quite incredible
i know this is a new life for you away
from home and i'm
i'm very proud of you is your table okay
do you think
no don't worry about me i'm fine
yes strong old wood
so many beautiful books you've amassed
as well
all these wonderful drawings of the
animals you love
yes i did them all myself i'm a big fan
very good melissa he said um before that
you thought people had seen me picture
in the paper it's okay don't panic
everything's safe
your file is with me no one will know
about the life you left behind you're
normal now you're just a normal girl
a normal girl who works in an aquarium
with a man who communes with fish
everything is very standard
i'm sorry sorry i was just looking
through the files
it's me jeremy that was very startling
was very startling to your staff with
this general i'm sorry no
do continue to look through the files
gerald that's fantastic
clay did you see gerald's face
i mean the reason i came here the reason
i hired gerald
is he reminded me of myself you know yes
the fact that he could commune with
other animals i know reminded me of me i
know
and my secret yes and the reason they
threw me out of newcastle i know
my powers your animal powers
but don't you think gerald tucked in a
bit there was something about his face
it was uncanny
it was like the first mission i gave you
was that a tentacle or a
is this noodle i don't know what it is
but i am not getting good vibes from it
it doesn't feel positive it feels out of
control and weird
gerald gerald i'm sorry best be off i've
got to go and feed the
fisher give them their evening feed oh
gerald ten
ten ten ten ten
you stay here have i have a chat with
melissa i'll do the evening feed you
oh look milkshakes you two
just dig in and
and i'm downstairs if you need me okay
okay thank you okay all right gerald
seen a bit any weird body movements
before i go oh
are we good no everything's normal oh
good okay all right seashore
sorry feeling a little strange ever
since i went to the pogo restaurant
oh yeah that restaurant will do that to
you i was ill for weeks after i went
there
pause yeah i'm just going to show you a
very quick clip of him having a
three-course meal in the pogo restaurant
well watch the whole scene sped up play
are you sure you want to order the
bullio base
oh i can't get free catching the bread
get off the bread
to the main movie back to the main movie
of course yeah it seems
it seems that gerald is amassing powers
but it seems that melissa amassed her
powers
a long long ago and that's why she was
kicked out of newcastle and why she now
finds herself
in pinkle clinton town play
[Music]
tell me melissa why did you really come
to pinkelton
town
well i liked the
the name i liked how how secluded it was
i liked
get out of your last you're not welcome
anymore
what these people there they said they
said i wasn't welcome anymore
there's enough freaks here already lost
i said there's a lot of freaks there i
don't believe that's true but i
they didn't like me for who i was get a
tone
there was a scottish man there who used
to stand on the street corner and just
scream at me we don't like you heeding
you pretty
but it's because i was different
gerald do you see that in me that i'm
different
i do see that of course i saw it the
first moment
i saw you i knew that you were
you were a fish talker too
you knew i was and you never said
anything
no i guess i was embarrassed in case i
was wrong and
you then thought i was weird but listen
melissa
i've been feeling really strange the
last day or two
i i don't think it's just a pogo stick
restaurant i think it's
something else something weirder
something about the new little
girl the new fish
i'm sorry to tell you this generally but
the people
that i asked to bring that fish to me
we're working together to make each
other very very rich
oh you see it wasn't actually the fish
itself that i wanted was a new
human squid breed
that's really what's going to bring the
punters in
gerald i like you and so did my men
that's right incognito as i'm the
organizer
yeah really a mahogany
yes of course she's the brains behind
the outfit you couldn't really believe
it was the guy with the plan with the
sunglasses who could possibly
have been behind all this it was melissa
play
well what are you doing why why i'll do
it
why are you doing this why
because i'm bitter gerald i got kicked
out for being different
and now and i had nothing i came here
with absolutely nothing but now we
all will be rich and we will make
money out of differences and then people
will look up to me
i'm gonna make money out of yours i
think people are making money out of
different things
and i'll kill all the fish that's right
melissa he'll kill all the fish in the
sea
that's right if that keeps you happy
love you do you i blow the egg fish we
kill all of them
who are you
[Laughter]
the guys squid you might have heard of
us
i see and you've turned me into some
sort of deranged mascot
hey you'll be in that tank can people
come and gawk and laugh at a freak squid
man boy yeah i'm gonna kill you
i shot i shot ever go in the tank you
can't make me i'm a man a human man
with arms head legs and a desire to not
be in a tank
oh the tank
i wasn't button that how does it feel
being on the other side of the glass
general
i don't like it very much
no no please you're a freak son not
tapping you were the one person that was
gonna stand in our way
the one person that could commune with
the fish the one person that fish
actually liked
that's right gerald some people want to
be rich
some people want fame and others just
want to kill fish
fish shouldn't make money fish should
only make happiness
oh general look at this wee little
salmon
feed it to my love give me
well it well now that there's nothing
that you can do
lads it's time to empty the oceans
and there's no one now that can stop us
to the pogo stick restaurant insults to
injury
eluted fish did you know about all that
yes gerald i did well screw you there
i'm
sorry i had no choice
am i destined to slowly become more of a
monster like you
indeed i used to be a little boy named
julian
now i'm this creature
there is no way out for us pause that
pause
we're 40 minutes in and it's become
clear this isn't really a superhero
story
this is more just the story of people
imprisoned
in the bodies of weird fish creatures
who don't necessarily have powers
but don't worry don't worry soon we do
go into some action sequences we know
our bad guys now they've
made these guys into money-making tools
they can go to the oceans to do other
evil deeds but will they be able to do
it or will
our heroes realize that their new fish
bodies do in fact give them
powers play we can't let them get away
with it
they're going to take every fish out of
the ocean kill every fish
what can we do gerald well let's explore
our new bodies
and see what powers we have look i i can
do this
i have these sort of gentle tentacle
movements
i can read minds yes
that's very good that's what i knew you
were going to say okay let's let's let's
put
all right but yes
very good at this flex your gills
flex them hard flex your gills
that's it
i could secrete ink from my guests
give her my kills pop your eyes out as
far
as they will go gerald oh there they are
look at the power i can see slightly
further ahead
than i could before and your tentacles
gerald
what can they do they can grab a throat
release the throat and presumably grab
and release other things yes as well
harness your powers both of you it is
the only way
to win this yes that's what i was going
to support oh yeah
there's a weird kind of competitive
element
between claire and the slightly kind of
not obnoxious fish who always wants to
finish
the end of the sentence oh he's mind
reading he's my
it's such an intelligent film it's
it's above my it's well above me it's
well above me
but it's not above our zoom audience
hopefully play
there's only one more thing left to say
and that's that you you are my
favorite ever student
she's very supportive as a teacher
that's right gerald the fish is right
i've been coaching you this whole time
i'm not really clever oh northern
i'm actually from bath
yes right
it's an incredible disguise gerald
you're our only hope don't you see
i really think i'm a poor hope again
you will learn i will show you in this
montage with this
fish how you will become a superhero
montage montage
[Music]
training
very good get it there okay gripping
things
try this
not there yet
[Music]
inc from gills
[Music]
come on gerald
[Music]
there is a lot of time problems
because although our amazing
gastronomical
fish can mind read he can't count
forwards
because we've gone from day 67 to day
23.
such a long montage really had to
really have to spend a long time
learning how to grab things
play day 23 day 4.
eat from gills
[Music]
i think i'm ready gerald i know you're
ready
fight the good fight save the fish
we believe in you i will come on
illusion fish
to the nearest ocean that's a long way
from here
it's fine we're built for travel
good luck spray a stream of ink in front
of us and we'll slide to the ocean
[Music]
oh what the hell is that sliding down
the street pause yeah that scene ends
there oh my god there's 10 minutes left
and this film is truly
amazing and strange but now now
we are gonna go we're gonna go to matt
and kathleen
who have a brief cameo in this movie
obviously we know that at least 67 days
have passed
and our bad guys have been creating
havoc
in the ocean and matt and kathleen
play two news readers and they give us
some of the news about what our bad guys
have been up to
while the montage has been happening i
wonder if this is going to work
go matt and kathleen play
our top story tonight oh it's a big one
the ocean is empty of fish in certain
regions
oh my gosh we have been going through
this we've been covering this for over
62 hours and not an hour longer not 23
days
not in the least because we don't get
funded for that
[Laughter]
pause amazing
and now we go to susie and maggie suzy
and maggie
briefly with the weather reports susie
and maggie where are they give us a wave
suzy maggie so you can be identified
they are go play
uh top weather coming in
there is weather in this area and some
coming in
that area weather all around
amazing sadly
that was the most cogent thing that
we've heard this evening
but now we go we go to the ocean where
our bad guys
are wreaking havoc they're killing all
the fish
they're doing all kinds of terrible
things but will our heroes get there in
time to save the day
and of course we've still got quite of
our award a lot of our awards and social
media things
to subtly smoothly creep into this movie
play
hey
yeah it's weird that i can hear them all
screaming and picking for help in my
mind
itself makes me feel very powerful
why why are you doing this to us
because you're weak i'm stronger than
you
hey boss do you want to get in the
speedboat and mow them all down
yes i do yes i do
we can see as we speed
are you coming with us all right
there's nothing left oh my family a few
poor little things floating around i'll
show them
living in the sea doing nothing we've
sucked most of them out now
and no one's come to stop us he must
still be in his glass cage
[Laughter]
and uh the money it's all coming in
the papers are going mad about it paying
us to
to see they're desperate to see the
creature
the creature in the cage well
[Music]
wait a minute pause what's that large
shadow in the water
shadow in the water is it a whale or a
sh
a shark get it shoot it shoot it it
looks like it looks like
ink it's dodging it oh my god it's going
away yeah
that's right it's me
you thought i wouldn't escape from the
tank but
i managed it how'd you go i trained for
a very long time
and then i used my tentacles which can
now grab
the top door the top door
the top though we should have locked the
top door i told you gary
i'm sorry
no i'm afraid your reign of ocean terror
is over
and you shall now be condemned to a
watery grave
don't become like this this isn't the
way
i challenge you to a thumb wall yes good
good gray on the television the last
time i competed in a thumb war
i had sums
and now you've only got tentacles so how
do you expect to win that gerald eh
i will accept your offer
all right here we are at the thumb war
championship and they're getting ready
to start
actually very exciting really exciting
just a classic
thumb on thumb action it's classic thumb
war
at its best i know that gary's been
training for this for over three
years now since his famous defeat four
years ago the grand thumb was in china
that was a hum dinger and i think we're
about to start
that's right tickle each other's palms
boys and the classic tickling of the
palm i hope you know
gary that the illusion fish has
meddled with the minds of the
commentators
and now they will only shout slurs
against you one two
[Applause]
absolutely decimated
[Laughter]
thing to do oh and he's killed him he's
literally dead
i think we've got time for a slow-motion
replay of the inking on the face what do
you think
absolutely let's get that back we've got
that clip
fantastic and you see here it's just a
classic palm and then he transfers to
the tentacle and
here we are i don't want the connection
to the face
it's not really a war it's more a
massacre this really will go down in the
books
as a classic inking the kindest thing
to do and the stab in the background
really old-fashioned movies traditional
death by stabbing melissa
i have thumb ward your opponent
occasionally
breaking the rules
no i i cannot resist
yeah carol yeah
she's controlling me
you have killed them all but their
greatest weapon is still alive he will
have
to kill me too
that's right gerald you're gonna have to
kill
the thing that you were born of
we've we've grown so close
gerald pause pause yeah obviously we
haven't really seen their relationship
kind of really blossom
so what they do is they throw in a load
of flashbacks of moments that show how
close they'd actually become
but for some reason the director had
edited those moments out
play remember the time we spent
splashing around together in the tanks
remember the time that we start from our
training to
skim stones across the shark enclosure
of course how could i forget
ow man i'm a shark that really hurts
remember
the evening meal we shared in the pogo
restaurant
what can i get you boys really
yes thank you of course
[Music]
i consider us friends now now no no
no no no friends
you're not friends oh yeah
i'm sorry gerald you have to die
[Music]
gerald i'm sorry my friend
i have no choice hi
claire what you're claire
yes claire is here
[Applause]
and claire has arrived on the scene that
is a plastic move and clearly they're
entering the classroom
it's me claire claire
see me and no you don't have to do this
i think that you're really swell
claire you have a good heart have a good
heart
they treated you dreadfully in newcastle
but not
everywhere is like newcastle
you don't have to do this claire and
you you've had you've had me back the
whole time
always enough look at gerald don't you
remember what you first saw in him
look at this fish and the boy trapped
within
we've changed
but they're they're like me
aren't they clay ask this
horrid squid outward
is my horrid squid inward
it's too late for us we are now
outward squeeze but you can still
change you can use your fish talking
abilities
the woman playing melissa has such
little
faith in the dialogue she's openly
laughing
at it in the final demon of the movie
she's just laughing away
play it's all right
we don't mind go on
change the world for the better bring
back the fish
yes but it's clear we are too dangerous
there is only one course for us we must
become
suicide suicides created
of course are you ready to ink one
another
i am gerald it has been an honor
the honor has been all
mine
[Music]
what a beautiful thing people
sacrificing themselves for the better
oh claire melissa where did i go wrong
you were hurt you were lost
so you've killed all the fish we've all
been there
you see now that it's the differences
that
make people beautiful gerald
and and the fish they were beautiful
things
i need to repopulate not my
myself but i need to be part of
repopulating the
fish family
stop hiding melissa stop hiding
i'm going to pour every drop of money
that i made
into setting up a conservation
how much money was that exactly three
billion
oh my god conservations conservation's
for sale constellations
three billion each i'll take i'll take a
conservation
thank you here's the three million in
cash
take it two years later
congratulations the aquarium is a
successfulism
we'd very much like to offer you the key
to the city
and welcome you back to newcastle and
apologize for all that what we did
that time all them years ago like oh
dad it's so nice to hear your voice we
are healers it's really good to be here
with you
thank you thank you all
and really i couldn't have done it
without all of your help
i'm not the one to be sank here it's the
animals
it's animals it's fish it's the ones
that want for nothing
it's just the living that they do that
makes
life a better place
[Music]
don't get a fish let's unveil
i'm not from here let's unveil the new
tank
look what do you think
it's probably beautiful like
thank you
i'm proud to name this
the gerald aquarium
in honor of my friend
who lost his life tragically what was
his name
gerald
thank you all let the children in
let the women in
enjoy the fish do come in
i've invited the whole pogo restaurant
to lay out a spread
but wait a minute what's happening to
that
small fish down there in the corner of
the tank next to the scum on the filter
it seems to be twitching
and shaking oh god moving
in the most unnatural way
i'll just take the lid off the tank and
check everything's all right
[Music]
yes
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
hmm
[Applause]
thank you so so much everyone at home
watching this has been an
absolute delight to perform i'd like to
watch
and i think it was kind of a superhero
movie
but more something that can't really be
labeled
by words um but as people have been
tuning in
every day no at the moment we're not
just the only people improvising in this
room
there are now people out there in their
homes putting together artwork
for this movie so we've got the amazing
guys
from big angry media who have put the
poster together for tonight's film i've
seen a little preview of this
it is definitely my favorite so far
let's have a look at the poster
and other artwork look at that
[Music]
oh just wonderful and this amazing
amazing piece of live art put together
in the moment
thank you so so much for lending a
little legitimacy
to a lot of nonsense i
desperately want to have that made
and put in as many places in england and
around the world
as possible so so good um everyone at
home this has been mischief movie not in
it has been an absolute
joy to do we have another show tomorrow
and we've just announced
another 10 performances so we are going
on
until the 22nd the 21st of february and
then this
run of mystic movie night in will sadly
end but
if you are someone who is struggling to
sleep at the moment
or indeed you are living on a totally
different time zone so maybe you're in
america or australia
or anywhere else indeed we are doing
another show
tonight so we will be having a brief
power nap
and a little caffeine intake and then
we'll be back at
midnight tonight uk time and different
times all over the world
but join us tonight to see i mean it
didn't make much sense
when we were pretty much awake so who
knows what's going to happen at midnight
but join us and we will improvise
another movie based on your suggestions
we can't wait to be back with you very
soon thanks so much and good night stay
safe bye
[Applause]
[Music]
up
[Music]
get it
[Music]
foreign