[Music]
live
from london and streaming around the
world everything you'll see tonight is
completely improvised
this is mischief movie night in please
welcome your host
oscar hello
hello hello and welcome welcome
back everyone to mischief movie night in
it is so
fantastic to be here everything you are
going to see tonight is 100
improvised we are about to make a movie
up on the spot based on your ideas
so without any further ado please put it
together for our amazing house band
it's richard and they're shawnee
along with all of our fantastic
technicians and sound team and camera
people and of course our amazing
mischief improvising cast
[Music]
welcome everyone to mischief movie night
in
my name is oscar and here in my home
cinema i have
every single film that has ever been
made in fact i have every single film
you could ever possibly imagine
and tonight we are going to watch one
film for my infinite collection of
movies
but which one we watch is entirely down
to all of you
the viewers at home streaming and tuning
in from all around the world i'm so
so excited so without any further ado
let's get to know some of our audience
on our participation panel this evening
and find out exactly what we're going to
watch
so first of all i want to speak to katie
and rachelle katie and michelle
where are you here you are yes there
they are
hello guys how are you doing
what a rookie error you're muted you're
on mute
can you hear us we can't hear you oh
what a what
what a star hello how are you doing how
are you doing guys
how are you great how are you very good
and where else in the world are you
colorado springs and usa
amazing fantastic and what i want to
know is what genre of film would you
like to watch tonight so give me a genre
of film
um we were thinking of mockumentary
mockumentary
like the office type feel right okay
yeah i think i think a documentary slash
mockumentary that could be
that could be interesting for sure yes
okay brilliant let's
let's now speak to um to simon whose
name at the moment is just simon's new
ipad
um but give us a wave simon simon's new
ipad there we go there we go hello
how are you guys good thank you very
good and
jenny is that correct it is it is and
jenny you're grimacing because you know
that i know it's your birthday tomorrow
isn't it yes
i'm not going to do it
thank you for making it a different day
otherwise it'd just be groundhog day
exactly a little difference and you've
got a socially distanced round of
applause then from the team as well
have have a great day and hopefully we
can we can bring some smiles and start
the party
um so what what genre of film would you
like to watch this evening
uh i think maybe disaster disaster an
optimist i see yeah
a disaster movie fantastic yeah a
disaster yeah
you know do you do don't don't say maybe
don't worry
disaster's perfect brilliant brilliant
um and now let's speak
to the fishes where are the fishes
hello hello hello guys hey give us a
little wave so we can spot you there you
are
there you are um so the fishes and just
before we start as well um
i know that your mom is working for the
nhs and isn't with you at the moment but
i just think that's worth a huge round
of applause from all our team as well
and anyone else who's watching at the
moment who's working on the front line
off the nhs thank you so so much what
you're doing at the moment is just
unbelievable so thank you from you know
from everyone all around the world
you're amazing um what i would like to
know from you though the fishers is what
would you like to watch this evening
what genre of film
well well we were going to say
mockumentary as well actually
oh okay okay well what have we got we're
getting the cheer
we're getting this have you have you got
a third option as well
um you know we didn't say one you did no
we
we had all the eggs in the mockumentary
bags all the eggs okay well that's
definitely on the table that's
definitely on the table
it's gonna be interesting that one okay
um so then in that case i want to go and
speak to big
and angry media that's what it says on
your on on the side big and angry media
come on in guys where are you hello guys
how are you we're good how are you very
good what genre of film would you like
to see this evening
uh an 80s musical an 80s musical
fantastic
fantastic not giving us a kind of gentle
welcome into um
into the streaming process what is that
look at that
literally it's all happening tonight
there we go look at that
hi there we go yes there you go
there you go that was all part of it
just you know that was meant to happen
we've been practicing that bit where
just
icons come up all over your screen for
weeks now i'm glad that worked
um an 80s musical and 80 years ago
and guys yeah also tonight we're going
to make the poster as we go along we do
graphic design so we're going to make
you a poster for this show as the show
goes on
amazing we can see it live amazing so if
at the end of the show
i can come back to you guys and we'll
see the poster for the movie that's just
been
that's incredible that's very very
exciting amazing well i look forward to
seeing that
amazing let's give that a round of
applause as well
okay brilliant so what i need to know
now is what we're going to watch this
evening
so by um so i'm going to shout out the
genres that you've just given me
and then what i want you to do is wave
for the one that you really want to
watch and whoop a little bit but the
most important thing is to wave
because i can i can judge that more so
wave like crazy if you want a
mockumentary documentary this evening
interesting interesting kind of a third
of the a third of the people i would say
okay um give me a wave and a cheer as
well if you want to see
a disaster movie
okay okay i would say that i think
that's in the lead but i promise you
no matter what we're gonna have a moment
of documentary unless of course
we want to watch tonight showing my hand
i'm quite keen on this one unless
tonight we're hoping to see an 80s
musical
give me a cheering away from nancy's
musical
oh it's so so close but i'm gonna i'm
gonna say it's an 80s musical i think
that's right it's very hard to judge
with just waving so maybe there's a bit
of confirmation bias
in play but i hope i hope not i'm really
not trying
i'm not trying to do that i'm not trying
to that's the whole point about
confirmation bias we're not trying it's
just happening
i'm gonna stop talking and move on i
promise you the rest of the show is
better it's not just a man on a chair
wishing he wasn't here
it really improves i promise you it
really improves
um we're gonna watch an 80s musical but
halfway through i'm gonna
cut to a nature documentary or something
like that
um so what i need now is a brilliant
location
for this film so let's speak to
charlie charlie are you there charlie do
you have a brilliant location for
this 80s musical i was thinking
a library a library i think that is
fantastic yeah it's start it's inaudible
i'm getting some cheers i'm getting some
cheers you are in
in in your home or on oh no some i can
see some people
look like yeah the fishes i think great
the fish the fishes i'm quite pleased
because
i'm quite pleased i feel that i've
cheated a little girl out of a
documentary so i'm glad the fish is like
that
um yeah okay brilliant it's in a library
and what i need now is so this is a
movie
it's an 80s musical it's set in a
library
and what i need now is a fantastic title
for
this film does anyone give me a little
wavy oh emily wore
a little girl's hand shot right up and
then her mother pulled them down and now
she's saying no no no no no
but i'm gonna go to them anyway they're
having a bit of a family argument
um emily ward emily ward let's let's
let's say hello
do you guys have a title come on mute
oh we the kids have killed us there
you didn't have anything oh no you're
hiding you're hiding don't worry
don't worry it's okay i'll go away the
mean man will go away
um let's speak to someone who else has
got a
you know we did for people who were
tuning in for the first time we did this
um just before new year and i was really
good at this i was really in control i
was really composed
tonight i've got off to a shocker but
it's okay no one saw but i tripped up as
i was walking down the stairs as well
but i'm i'm gonna like a finite like a
fine wine i'm gonna get better
you know as this goes on um give me a
wave if you've got a title
rick rich and emily what have you got
for us richard and emily give us a title
save me
careless whisper keller
it's called careless whisper you know
what i would have taken anything to be
honest just to get the camera off me for
a while
but it is it's called careless whisper
and i cannot wait to see it
it is an absolutely brilliant 80s
musical
set in a library now it's not just you
guys here on the participation panel
that have been suggesting ideas
we've got that literally thousands of
people all around the world
tweeting in and sending different ideas
on social media so we're gonna go over
to dave and brian at social media corner
and find out what's being suggested
tonight how's it going guys
hello you caught me mid pose
uh welcome to social media corner
you guys have been sending in hundreds
if not thousands of
excellent suggestions and we've worked
our way through them so let's get
cracking with the first one uh the first
one is
from twitter by at super gunny
super gunny would like the award for the
shortest training montage
which i think we could do let's have a
look at the next one
yeah so the next one we've got from
instagram from ashmore13
and you and it's another award but for
most disappointing
rap battle of the decades i think we
could definitely disappoint you yeah
i think oscar has done that for us
already
let's have a look at the next one okay
this is from facebook this is sadie
parker who this is a character okay
and this is someone who believes they
are a ghost and that no one can see them
they are not we can all see you
yeah there's the the ghost the rap
battle and
what was the first shortest montage
montage some of that
excellent suggestions back to you oscar
amazing this is this is fantastic
they're they're very good i think
a a a training montage in a library it's
quite
quite plays to our strengths that that
might be short um a disappointing rap
battle certainly plays to our strengths
but i'm so excited to watch careless
whisper it is one of my favorite films
ever
and he's in my dvd player all ready to
watch
just before we start i just want to
remind everyone who's watching
everything you see tonight is completely
and totally improvised
the acting and the dialogue is being
made up on the spot
the music is being played at the same
time that it's being composed
and the whole thing is obviously being
filmed and edited
in the moment so there's split second
decisions being made
all over the place we genuinely do not
know
what is going to happen except for
hopefully a lot of fun
careless whisper begins in the library
with this amazing amazing
opening musical number that starts off
kind of with just people kind of reading
being quiet
and it grows into this incredible
opening
feel good movie they'll just make you
want to jump off your seats and
join in um and then we meet our leading
characters
for the evening everyone around the
world
put your hands together for careless
whisper play
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
close the book shut the pages
sort of drew up so early my favorite
thing about that song
is it's kind of it's growing really
gently
and then the kind of impatient bearded
actor
just decides you know what i don't want
any subtlety in my evening
and he bowed us straight in well before
the music has
even started
showing up the kind of tunally
challenged parts of his performance
even more but my god does this
song improve which to be honest isn't it
i mean obviously it improves because
the only way it can go is up thus far
but believe me up it goes
[Music]
play
close the pages sit in the library for
ages close the book
close your life this is the library
open up your heart so you can read
anything and look
at some
[Music]
the page art the age
throw away your troubles
throw away your cares
sit down at the library
and read all the books
throw away your troubles
and read all the books
feeling super powerful
in my shoulders
reading
[Music]
myself
throw away your hair
sit down at the library
and read all the books
throw
[Music]
oh
amazing how good was that what an
amazing
opening number and only goes to show
confidence can get you
anywhere if you really believe it and
you
really live it then you can make pears
and
books rhyme you really can but yeah we
go into it now we go into it and we meet
the two kind of
we meet two people who run the library
clay
[Music]
hey uh uh kellyanne i uh got you a
coffee
oh marcus you absolute peach
i'm just uh stamping some dates in these
beautiful books
wow july 2nd and that's right
the morning after the beautiful date we
had last night
i've chosen a book especially that
reminds me of our evening
wow wuthering heights
i've not read it oh it's
quite harsh and a little bit violent but
that's not the bit that reminds me of
our time together of course it's a
victorian love story of sorts
set in england i'm really glad uh we
actually finally went on that date
because
uh i'm gonna be honest i i i've been
wanting to ask you out since uh
well since i arrived here i know well
that's the thing about libraries isn't
it i mean
so much potential for for romance and
adventure
and also this fax machine
what a time to be alive
yeah it's almost as if halfway through
the scene the movie remembers it's set
in the 80s
the rest of this scene is full of things
that are
really really iconic for the 80s
play out of toner oh
but i'll always remember that date you
know the 2nd of july 1985
1985. well
i hope there'll be many more well i
i hope so too ah sick a rubik's cube
i love that movie it's yours [ __ ] can
you keep your voice down this is the
library
all right a new episode of macgyver
awesome
lovely pubs thank you
jaws is actually a 70s but i just caught
up on it
i'm pretty sure rubik's cube for 70s as
well excuse me you got any spare
batteries
for my walkman oh of course are you
listening to
duran giraffe of course i am what else
wow she was mean yeah i know
come on i i just got a one piece of
advice that i was thinking about i mean
this library is awful loud
you're right i think it's the high
ceilings the books go up as high as you
can see
look at these books look they're so high
up
but why aren't people respecting it
marcus it's
it's me and you i feel like we're the
only ones that
understand how important it is here
libraries suck
helen i i know how much these books mean
to you
i i know that when i interviewed for the
job i remember
you laid it out in perfect detail well
yes nothing will ever be as important to
me as these books of course
the whole world is here how could
anything ever be better than that
excuse me um i'm looking for a computer
we don't do that here ah damn you guys
are ah
really in the stone ages that really
hurt get out oh
man wow i didn't know you were like this
at all
well i have a fiery side feisty
exciting i i mean it's like uh it's like
watching someone incredible be amazing
at their job do you know how
inspirational that is
oh marcus you're so sweet to me i uh
also read that book that you recommended
oh you did
the second sex by simone beaufort the
second sex by
simone pope warriors
i have a feeling that marcus is not a
well-read man
yeah he he mentions two of his favorite
things about that book
and then and then we have another song
that's all about
it's all about their favorite literature
and how that relates to their
relationship
play what did i like about the book oh
tell me your favorite parts in detail
i really enjoyed the font of the book
and i also
really enjoyed the cover and the content
i didn't understand a lot of it if i'm
being honest with you
oh well you know often these things
first time around are
are tricky maybe you just need to give
it another go you know
you know what they say give things
another go
that's what they always say i know
i'm proud of you for trying and i'm
proud of you for trying to make me a
better person well absolutely i mean
no one's not gonna be a better person
when they've got all these books to
choose from right
look at this book it's a hell of a book
if you just look at the cover you might
throw it away
but take a second look oh
yes it's pride and prejudice i
remember it so well elisabeth
and darcy they just make my heart go
on and swell and the things about the
words as they transport is far away
that's right and it doesn't matter what
we might say because a book
is just a gateway to somewhere
new but i don't need a gateway
if i've got you oh you're right
i used to wish i could live in
victorian times black
leather boots and chimneys pumping out
the grind
but now i'm here and i'm
with you and i don't need a gateway
if i've got you why don't you
take a second look why don't you take
a second look because there's more to
a book than the cover
why don't you take a second look
why don't you take a second look because
[Music]
looking at those adventures i want you
to tell me just how you feel
i want you to take a second
a second a second
[Music]
the book
[Laughter]
[Music]
amazing yes and on that slightly odd
note to the song
the lights are turned out on the actor
and now we go across now we go across to
city hall
and we're going to find out a little bit
about how this public library
is doing and also how it's viewed
how it's viewed by the people in charge
of the city play
[Music]
yes uh mom it's it's it's not looking
good
getting rid of it get rid of the light
we've got to get rid of it
it's full of old paper and stupid people
and
people being quiet i mean what's wrong
with them well you can't just get rid of
a library
the libraries are the heart of a
community so for god's sakes playgrounds
are the heart of a community
open green spaces at the heart of a
community i think
getting rid of the library is a
wonderful idea oh
of course jimmy i knew you'd agree with
me part of the community please
we all know the heart of the community
is city hall
why is this office so well staffed
and why are all the characters weird
stereotypes and things all from very
different time periods i would say
particularly the victorian gentleman he
doesn't really scream this is the 80s in
america
play by jove darling it's all about
technology
i know this is why i'm unveiling this to
you all today i've gathered you here
for this a computer for our office
my god is that an apple mac yes and i've
also installed
a car phone in our bentley
darling you are superb i'm just very
high flying and down with the times i
can't help it i'm just very clued up
i remember madame mayor madam mayor if i
may
we can't just replace an entire library
with a computer
that's what computers are they are every
human mind rolled into one little
black and green screen they are binary
forms of human beings
yes of course i understand that
computers are very efficient but
you got to admit you can't really get
over having a real book in front of you
why they smell like old pages well yes
that's true but
have you ever just i don't know sat down
in your bed at night and
wanting to relax pause i'm so so
interrupt i must find
out who is the silent cowboy at the back
just staring on with the weirdest facial
expression
i've ever seen in a movie play listen
bob i'm going to i'm going to show you
my son grimes
grimes come here
now grimes has never read a book in his
life
he's fine look at it learning's for
doofuses
it is for two faces bob eyes have gone
completely square
everything i've learned i've learned
from takeout
menu cards oh grimes you're perfect
thanks mom i want everyone in this town
to be just
like grimes of course and
but bob and i we we we we we love
working here we never wanna
uh let you down of course man i'm i'm
sure we'll
we'll we'll we'll what are you
stammering for huh come on you should
teach him a lesson
fire this one in the spectacles that's a
good idea grimes i get all my good ideas
from you
son oh you're fired bob
thank you bob before you go take one
last look at the computer that you'll
never be able to use and
grieve for yourself for a moment
oh bob is that a tear
yeah oh it is
thank you ma'am i'll let myself out
good i'll be outside
was there any other complaints about
getting rid of the library
no no no no ma'am no ma'am that's very
good
i'd like to keep my job and and do my
best too oh very good well then you can
get rid of the library for me
why don't you go down there and tell
them what's up
of course you want me to tell them that
we're getting rid of all the books and
installing
i want you to personally
bulldoze the library
you knew about my bulldozer that i keep
at home i do
in the directions cut in the director's
cut there was a very quick clip of her
in a really tiny
american apartment with a bulldozer in
there it's incredible
play hey
back to the main movie back to the main
movie
bye i will
personally for phil fulfill that mission
for you
good madam that'll tell me you're
committed i need my
my my carbs doing all right well hold
this
martiti you can go now i don't know why
you're still here thank you mom of
course of course
thank you oh can i go smash up some
community property
oh of course you can sweetie thanks
guys i admire you
so very much but i have to say
is your hatred of the library because
you never learn to read
i can read your veneer
is cracking i can see underneath you're
so
so sad there's a whole world in books
that you've never known about there's a
world in computers you want to be fired
too
no of course not listen i know you're my
special special special boy
i'm four specials and nothing more but i
i could still find it within myself to
get rid of you even though it would hurt
me
but if you ever bring up me not reading
ever again to anyone even me
and even you on your own i'll kill you
even me by myself
[Music]
message received loud and clear and
all i've wanted is for you to be happy
i am happy pause pause yeah and mrs
mayer
as the music is guiding towards how
about a really
great 80s power number whilst her
special special special special
somebody does some phenomenal 80s kind
of
body popping and jazz he does
all his dance moves all the way through
play
[Music]
you see the thing about me my special
special boy
you see the thing about me my special
special toy
[Applause]
[Music]
i just want to get rid of all the
libraries because
[Music]
oh i've remembered the percussion
section
where mrs mare is used as a drum
incredible it's a
bit too slappy when you do that
to me but i like it do it on my
[Music]
thighs yes
we're all into percussion because nobody
good
ever plays the drums they're all bad
but us bad people we
like percussion
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
that was amazing i love you dancing and
i'll see you in my room to do it for me
privately later
of course mom oh you forgot your head
[Applause]
[Laughter]
if you could see the joy in this
socially distanced room
there are literally literally the lady
playing the mayor is currently
crying with pride there are genuine
tears
so poppy wants to rewind it and see it
again but i kind of feel like we should
just
let's just let it be a great and
beautiful moment
it definitely happens later as well
that's her trademark for leaving scenes
from now on
and now we go back to the library we go
back to the library
with kellyanne and marcus who were
discussing books and marcus is very much
being educated by kellyanne who we've
already established is far more
intelligent
and aware of what's in the library
marcus is more full of kind of peppy
things like
books have more than a cover but that's
okay because they are so so well suited
like kellyanne i uh got you your coffee
again
oh wonderful marcus thank you so much
so i i was reading this uh this book uh
good night mr
tom oh i love that one how did you find
it
uh i found it uh interesting in several
different ways
in fact i've written four just down here
okay great uh
i i found the the character development
was
very interesting sure sure i i thought
that the world that was created
transported me to that world very
successfully i i found
that the that that the main character i
could really
i could really make that are you okay
no i didn't know i don't know anything
about this book it's just words
that's all right i feel like you're
you're trying so hard to to make an
effort and
and please me you just got to enjoy the
book that's all
enjoy the book look it's children's hour
come on children gather round this could
teach you
look see you just need to know about the
the
joy of reading it's a shame no one can
see me
i'm a ghost what gosh it's so cold it is
that's what you need to connect with
look at their happy faces
why not read a little to them and see
how that feels okay
fantastic you're an idiot okay
some would argue this award is being
slightly crowbarred into the main
narrative of the piece
also i'm not quite clear does that mean
he just believes he's a ghost
but everyone can see that he's just a
kind of rude man
in a library play i'm a freaking girl
can you please thank you you're just
wearing a piece of material over your
head
you can see me no you can't i'm a
freaking guy
i'm a freaking guy thank you thank you
barry you're doing really well would you
like to listen to the story
all right okay this is called
the woman who couldn't read once upon a
time
there was a woman who couldn't read and
she was very
unhappy so unhappy that she took her
unhappiness
out on everybody else but it was always
always about her the end
wow it's beautiful so short
what a great story it almost killed me
because i'm a ghost
yes yes cornelius you had a question
miss marcus did did the lady
uh ever learn to read well
uh uh no well good question
there's no narrative progression in that
story it's pretty linear
yeah it's just one thing nathan i've
told you you're you're 35
you're too old this is children i'm
telling you all right this is where i
find my intellectual equals
dad you're embarrassing me shut up sit
down the only reason i get to stay
well ask questions i suppose the answer
is
we haven't asked yet that's the first
question
sorry the answer is that we never really
know
the book ends how you want it to end yes
well well mr marcus i think it would be
really good
if the lady learned how to read yeah
then maybe she wouldn't be so mean all
the time
yeah that's a great point sally well
done guys
i got that like from the beginning yes
yes
yeah i love nathan nathan a guy who just
feels inferior and the only way he can
boost his self esteem
is by behaving like a child with other
children
i'm just going to shoot a very quick
clip of him in kindergarten
with lots of children learning about
colours
play so this is blue
i knew
let's watch a little bit more of this
play and can anyone tell me what this
color is
uh yes yellow yellow i knew it
he didn't know it he waited for his
daughter to say it
and then came in wow nathan
a man a few talents anyway we go back to
the main movie if we go back
to the main movie nathan is very much
the d-plot
of this movie play
all right children well this has been
wonderful apart from nathan's
involvement
we'll see you same time next week okay
okay well done
i gotta go i gotta win a bagel i've made
an offer on and
you're doing so much for the library
oh uh sorry oh interrupt
it's so great to see you guys hello
anne-marie
i i saw you uh teaching the children
just now
how lovely take a seat take a seat anne
marie
how are you how's my sister
she's um well that's what i've come here
to tell you about um personally bulldoze
it bulldoze it
i got you your coffee order by the way
like every day
oh marcus you are so kind both of you
both of you are kind of henry are you
okay you seem so
so nervous so worried i have a
letter instructions
uh of what's gonna happen to the library
dear library people oh goodness aren't
you stupid i'm getting rid of it i'm
bored goodbye
it's your sister she's uh setting up a
tech
company at the city hall what she's
asked me
she's employed me to bulldoze
this library to the ground
[Music]
you can't do this
great please
i really thought that was a bulldozer
but no
that it's graham just a man who makes
the sounds off a bulldozer
play all right well that was the trial
run real deal's coming up
oh my god no whenever graham does a
trial run
did you hear the news did you hear the
news he told him the news was about to
have to close the library i did
she even fired bob they fired me
the longest running manager of the
library there
she promised she'd never fire you and
yet that's how
serious she is about this guys they
can't do that i mean we have 12
of course they can of course she can she
can do anything she wants she's been
trying to do this for years
since 1975 she's been trying to destroy
this library
and now she's won kellyanne i and marie
i think that she's jealous of you
she always has been how could she be
jealous of me look at her
she's so successful she can hire she can
fire she can have her
calves massaged by that man because you
have something that she doesn't have
the joy of reading and of books
and knowledge she wants all of that gone
and i'm sorry to be the one
that has to do it what good
are these books against bulldozers your
personal bedroom
bulldozer no we can't talk like that
kellyanne
let's go and see her we just talked to
her she's a human being marcus haven't
you learned anything from
any of these books that's not how the
world
works things move on technology wins
well that's what books are teaching you
maybe there is no point in books
i'm sorry kellyanne looks like you're on
your own
that looks like i am gotta complete this
task
by 2 p.m that's as long as you've gotten
already
45. i know you've got 15 minutes to sort
it out
i'm gonna get the bulldozer now
kellyanne sorry
goodbye it's all right anne-marie
kellyanne if there's anybody who can
solve this it's you
i tried and tried speaking to her but
i just couldn't get through to her
this place has been my life it's been
everyone's life
but it's finished i'm sorry kelly take a
book
take ten till i'll be squished in 15
minutes
kellyanne if there's anybody who can fix
this i know it's you
she's your sister right she's always one
maybe maybe
just this once you can win
it's a nice thought i'll go clear out my
office
pause yeah and that scene ends there i
like that bob has all the kind of
sad quiet scenes in the movie really
interesting really interesting role now
before we carry on this film
i'm very aware that a lot of people also
wanted to see a documentary slash
mockumentary
so i just want to go back to the fishes
the fishes give us a little wave
give us a little wave okay let's speak
to the fishes
so the fishes there we are they're the
fishes they're the fishes um
what would hello what would you what
would you like this documentary to be
about
what do you want to learn about right
now
yeah life in the library life in the
library
okay do you want would you like to go
anywhere other than the library anywhere
in the world
the popcorn factory the popcorn factory
yeah that's great
the popcorn french i mean either great
and also you've got a fantastic sense of
narrative
to keep it in the library but i think
it's great to go to the popcorn factory
i'm going to put on a very quick
special effects kind of thing all about
the making of popcorn
i really don't know what this is going
to be
let's let's see how informative this is
hey hello here we are in the very high
tech podcorn factory now some of you
might think the popcorn is a very
low-tech system but that's not true is
it marketing not true at all as you can
see in this pan we have some popping
cons
now i have to say something we've
learned since being here there's a lot
of politics between the actual popcorn
itself
absolutely and if you listen carefully
you can hear what they're saying
now really do you call yourself a
colonel i think you're the weakest
killer i've ever seen
get back to your side of the bowl yes
there's a lot of misunderstanding
between colonels
and colonels
i'm really glad my confirmation my
confirmation bias
kicked in and didn't give us an hour of
that
little girl little girl have you learned
anything
from that popcorn documentary
not really let's go back to the main
movie let's go back to the main movie
everything is delicately set up now we
have 15 minutes left to go we've still
got
two of our awards that have got to be
incorporated into this movie
the library is going to be bulldozed in
15 minutes unless mrs mayer
has a change of heart for any reason and
of course we all know exactly why she
wants that library
to be locked down and very soon we see
her
in her phenomenally swish
apartment where she sat at her desk
desperately trying to read a book that
she's tried to read
for so long play
[Music]
oh i'm my shave you're coming for my
shave of course
oh very good
now now um felix can you could you just
tell me what this word says i don't have
my glasses on of course madame
that says dog dog
and then and then and and this one here
that's love madam dog love
okay
what book is she trying to read play
and and this word here
bone madonna
dog love but well you learned something
new every day
hey mom you reading my copy of dog love
bones yes i'm
reading it all right yes you can have it
back throw it in the fire with the rest
of them
your reading is coming on very nicely
thank you your shave is complete
thank you felix i'm feeling very close
today see you tomorrow
for your wack very good i'll get my
thighs ready
mother must you have your treatments out
of the open so
this is my home of course you have all
of your treatments out in the open
that is true now take a seat and we're
gonna do your bunions
all right i'll get the sledgehammer
now my sweet sweet boy
oh careful oh so careful
what about i want the whole food off all
right i'll get the treats
shall i get you a television to watch
yeah i want a tv
and no news
[Music]
it's red and stimpy is that out yet i
think it's yeah
this is too intellectual for me oh can
you make it just colors yeah
that's better face scan are you there
oh for god's sake who who told my sister
where i lived again
we've moved four times penelope can you
just let me in please
yes come up
[Music]
good afternoon mom good afternoon excuse
me were you expecting a warmer reception
because this trio only gives
stony ones to people like you i'm aware
of that but hopefully i'm just kidding
i can't understand what you're saying
when you use emotions i said i just gave
you
the idea that i thought you were good oh
it could be it i've got you this
milkshake she only got a milkshake i
brought you some books that i thought
you might like and that grimes might
like
are you gonna put them in the fire no
they're for you they're gifts
oh a book as a gift yes haven't you
heard of a watch
or a spirit or any other better gift
than a stupid book
you know every christmas and birthday
when people give people books
it is always disappointing i don't care
what anyone said that is not
there's a little bit of your stomach
that drops penelope
yeah okay fine maybe nice beauty
products are sometimes better much gay
but books are also great and you would
see that if you would let people help
you if you would let people in
if you would let your son be educated
not let my son be educated
don't be so stupid mother would be
ashamed of you
pause pause yeah who who who um
who and our participation audience
fancies being in the movie
for a few minutes the road yeah yes
the rod wells some people are going
absolutely some people the way you're
waving to that means i will never pick
you
jodie brennan jodie brennan you you i
think you're hot i think your hand was
first up jody brandon
jody brennan i believe you play the
voice of the mother
in this movie and as they talk about
mother sometimes they hear you interject
with the things that the mother used to
say it's very very moving
and also very integral to the plot so if
in the end this movie doesn't make sense
it is all jody's fault
play mother would be so disappointed in
you
don't she was about mother she was a
proud russian
you know that as well as i do i can hear
her i remember the revolution
well
yes mother tell us more
i grew up eating nothing but borscht
[Laughter]
what i'm interested is jody your hand
went up
but you've definitely offloaded the work
onto your boyfriend it would seem i got
over excited
well i think that you both you both take
part you both take part
you can't put your hand up and then and
then sit there with a cocktail
as well just watching your partner like
you're not doing very well for it
yeah you hear mother and father's advice
your mother and father's advice you can
both be in it as that moves the movie
on play mother always used to eat her
abortion father was always over
excited it's just ah i just
love those russian dances oh
you know what let's do one together
for old times sake just like mother used
to like she danced on your 18th birthday
when she gave you that piece of
wonderful advice
i can hear it now it was so clear and
concise
please learn to read
that was it please learn to read
no i blacked it out i please learn to
read what i always heard is please eat
your greens or please lean on the piece
that's not it penelope it was please
learn to read
learn to read books learn to read people
learn to read your son
learn to read the 1980s
where technology and literature can
exist side by side
you know what i better do this quickly
in just a few hours
better do it in a montage a very short
montage
pause yes she now has a montage
of a few hours to learn how to read
unfortunately the library is being
bulldozed
in 15 minutes and i'd say that was a
good eight minutes to go
so she this montage has to be
even quicker play we don't have a few
hours
i can i can read it since done that was
it
that was the moment you know what
right i can read you too and you're
awful
what i've done to you parentally is just
awful can
can you take over it would be my honor
come on grimes
goodbye grinds forever it's the best for
you
no you're not leaving me aren't you
no i want you to throw it again
i thought you were ceremoniously giving
me your hat because you were leaving
but really you were just doing our thing
no i've never been more proud of you
learning to read in such a short space
of time
i didn't think i could love you any more
than i do
you love me of course well i love you
too
[Music]
paused
[Laughter]
i know let's just see what's happening
real play play play
no great get out of here
no but we do not leave this scene until
one of them manages to
land a hat on one person's head
[Music]
play
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
bless our participation audience there
you're applauding failure
anyway we go now into what is probably
the final scene
of this movie we see we see anne-marie
at her bulldozer and it is she's she's
started she's just about to start
a sad mission to destroy the local city
library
play
[Music]
you can't do this you can't do this and
i'm here to explain exactly why
sorry marcus it's already happening no
listen to these words
these words that i read in a book
you're about to make a mistake and it's
gonna be bad it's gonna be the kind of
thing that makes humanity mad
if you take away a book then you won't
have a second look i'm a travel bear
with instant you will scare everybody
around you and it's true
that you are the person of the actor
take so don't make
this awful mistake it's too late marcus
i'm already on my way man
i'm ready to take the day take the night
man i'm going ahead
straight into the distance breaking all
those pieces all over them
oh we're really delivering not
disappointing there aren't we
yeah that's definitely not the end of
the battle it's not the end of the rap
battle
because that's just so enjoyable to
watch
bye you're my mom remember making a
mistake
you remember my mama making a mistake
give him
[Music]
this is the end i'm not throwing it away
i'm sorry marcus i've been given my
orders
and i can't stop so you better kiss your
library goodbye
okay i'll give you this coffee to take
on your way
with you've put a heart in the froth
yeah marcus
you're a good man what am i doing
what am i doing marcus you're right
you know my whole life i've always just
followed orders
it's all i've ever done and here i am in
my little
tiny flat my own with a bulldozer what
is that what is that that's not alive
marcus not a life i've gone off the
tracks
faster than this this has
listen you need this stick to walk
many people need it
of course that's definitely
part of the bulldozer also it's
established whether she's in the
bulldozer just about to go through the
library or if she's just in her
apartment
with the bulldozer play
[ __ ] i'm in the bulldozer about to
bulldoze the library
look it's hovering the the axe thing is
hovering right over the top of the
building and i'm about to bring it down
i need to stop this hold my hand marcus
we'll do it together
[Music]
it's okay we're not too late we're not
too late
no you didn't do it you've got a brain
you've got
sense oh goodness i underestimated you
in those glasses
sorry was i did i stop it i'm sorry i
bought a winnebago
you're already stopped i'm so sorry
nathan you've crushed the bulldozer
you've bulldozed a bulldozer
many thought it couldn't be done
[Laughter]
marcus you you did it you you saved the
library
you saved all those books you you talked
around
just very quickly obviously this movie
is not really about nathan
at all but he said he said he said he
couldn't be done
they're in the director's cup there was
a whole sub story about nathan's journey
to both those of bulldozer with other
people saying it couldn't be done
i'm just going to show you the scene
where that happened it's very very quick
but i'm just going to show you
how that bit would have made sense if
this scene hadn't been edited out
play i went off with a bagel and i'm
going to build those in the bulldozers
that can't be
done nah can't be done
pause there we go we go back to the main
movie back to the main movie
we did it you did it i did it
all of these books did it nathan did it
nathan had nothing to do with it
it was here nathan you need to take a
look at your life and realize that
you're a very
unhappy 35 year old man nathan that
scripture writing is never going to come
to fruition
come on no it's got rhinos and dinosaurs
in it
and the fact that women don't want to go
out with you isn't their fault
it's yours and they've been your band
from the under six reading club
yes wow what an onslaught of hostility
after i just bulldozed the boulders
penelope what do you think you haven't
been to the library for a while
not since mom and dad were at it
the russian literature section is pretty
wonderful
[Music]
smells like old pages
just like mom and dad used to smell
exactly
they smelled just like old books and it
was wonderful i've never smelled a book
really and
been able to delve back into that memory
until now
well welcome back i feel
like finally i can have an outlet to
escape
books are giving me that outlet and you
know what i needed escaping from was
my cruelty and myself yes penelope you
are awful
and the tv and computers and all those
modern goblins i really hope they don't
last
i think they're gonna be short-lived
yeah i'm sure they are
have you met marcus oh i have you're the
boy who puts hearts in all the women's
coffees
and he's the hero but i'm just over here
literally all the women are yeah what
yeah
yeah we'll talk about this later
that's a whole part of the story sadly
we don't have time for
but yet very soon we're gonna have a
final number but just before we see how
this movie plays out
it reminds me we need to go back to big
angry media
to see hot off the press all the
pressures on you guys i have no idea
what their graphic design skills are
like
but we're gonna see what the poster for
this movie
looks like let's see it guys give us a
little wave
no that's that's no that's that's our
performance earlier we give our promise
a round of applause
as well they were smashing
uh here it is three two one
whoa it's amazing
wow that's really that's really great
guys
that's that's better than the movie
itself
that's brilliant thank you so so much
for making that that's that's amazing
guys
that's that's that's brilliant thank you
so so much um we're now going to go back
to the final moments of this movie we're
going to see all of our different
loose ends tied up and that we end with
an amazing amazing
80s musical number
to see us home play
say bob uh
hey yes me miss mayor you can have your
job back
i can have my job back oh gosh that's
wonderful i'm really sorry to have fired
you in the way that i did it was callous
and i was just trying to prove a point
in front of my peers
that's okay ma'am i'm just glad to be
back working at the library bob
you're the best worker i ever had thank
you ma'am
that really means a lot i hope you enjoy
your i mean our library
and you girl you're gonna run the
library
for the next 40 years oh my goodness
the next 40 years of my life yeah well i
can't think of anything
better
and i'll be here too always beside you
tell me marcus
see there are things in life
that you can do you can make
mistakes but this is a dream come
[Music]
sister was true but then she learned to
read
if you take a second look take a second
look
because there's more to a book
[Music]
take a second look take a second look
[Music]
yes i know the
importance of a page
yes
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you so so much ladies and
gentlemen this has been so
so much fun thank you so much to our
participant our participants for all
their amazing ideas for our incredible
poster
for our cameo appearances and from all
the different
ideas all from social media that have
made our movie possible tonight it has
been so
so much fun um we are doing this until
the 31st of this month and then we've
got a special on valentine's day as well
that's gonna be a rom-com special
so between now and then join us again
we're here every night
you can come up with new ideas and we're
gonna make a movie based only on your
suggestions
so until we can be back in a theater and
we can all be together
keep laughing stay safe and we'll see
you soon thank you so much and good
night cheers
[Music]
hit it up
[Music]
[ __ ]
[Music]
did it
[Music]