[Music]
live from london and streaming around
the world
everything you'll see tonight is
completely improvised
this is mischief movie night in please
welcome your host
oscar
yes wow hello hello hello
hello and welcome to mischief movie
night
welcome to mischief movie night in we
are streaming live from our secret
underground comedy bunker where
everything you see tonight
will be completely improvised so without
any further ado
let's hear a huge cheer for our amazing
improvised house band
it's ashani and richard aren't they
wonderful yes yes
and of course our amazing technicians
and camera people and streamers putting
everything together
for our amazing mischief improvised cast
hello and welcome my name is oscar
and this is my lockdown movie night here
in my home cinema i have every single
film that has
ever been made in fact i have every film
you could ever
possibly imagine and tonight we are
going to watch one film from my infinite
collection of movies
but which one we watch is entirely down
to all of you
the viewers at home sitting on your
sofas or your couches
all around the world so if you're
watching in new zealand good morning if
you're watching in america good
afternoon
if you're in europe good evening it's so
great to have you here
and we're going to kick straight off
with our amazing participation audience
here
and find out what we're going to watch
tonight so first of all
i'm the turnbull family how are you give
me a wave turnbull family
there they are there they are hey guys
how are you doing
good thank you thank you sounds like
you're kind of in a wind tunnel how are
you guys
what i would love from you all is a
genre of film that you want to watch
tonight
[Applause]
we've got a spy thriller a spy thriller
fantastic okay
spy thriller that's gonna be option a
spy thriller next i would love to speak
to benjamin
benjamin who is celebrating today
benjamin come in benjamin
hi why are you celebrating benjamin
uh i'm 16 today 16 today happy birthday
happy birthday
there you go i picked a very very deep
key
to sing that in far too deep for my
voice but benjamin and sisters um
what would you like to see tonight what
genre film would you like to see uh
we were thinking of really over dramatic
soap opera slash melodrama
a melodrama so proper fantastic okay
that's interesting a kind of real
a real kind of family saga kind of drama
film is that is that what you mean
love yeah yes okay great melodrama
they're fantastic that's brilliant
and now finally i'd like to speak to
chad
chad where are you give me a wave chad
so we can so our tech team can find you
there you go chad i spoke to earlier has
the smoothest voice in all of the usa
come in chad hello hello
it's so smooth it's so smooth it makes
me feel so inferior you've even got
you've got jazz playing oh yeah
yes give us more chats
what can i give you yes
would you say scrambled eggs all over my
face like at the end of frasier for me
all right uh we'll we'll get to that
[Laughter]
thank you chad for removing the small
amount of status that i have um
chad um what genre of film would you
like to choose as option c tonight on
the menu what would you like to see i
would love to see a heist
ah romantic romantic heist
amazing fantastic okay let's go back to
our whole panel
so what we're going to do tonight guys
so if anyone's watched the show before
you're going to notice now we've got a
new little bit of tech that we're going
to throw in
if this works you know we'll find out in
a minute like everything with the show
but what you're going to see now viewers
on the participation screens
is a little poll pop up on your camera
on your on your screen so we can be a
little more scientific about this
so option a so if you want to see option
a which is a spy film
vote a if you want to see a soap
melodrama vote b
and if you want to see a romantic heist
vote c so once again i'll give you that
again
a spy film is vote phone number a a soap
opera melodrama
is vote b and for a heist a romantic
heist please click
c here we go the votes are coming in
let's have some votes coming in music
guys
[Music]
a little bit like you wants to be a
millionaire but not
enough so we won't be sued
[Music]
let's see oh it's coming it's coming and
the answer is
the answer is a it's going to be a spy
film a spy film my god it was close
it was close but it is just a spy film
fantastic so what i need now is a
brilliant location
for this spy film to take place or at
least begin in
um so i'm gonna speak now to um
to georgina and family georgina and
family give me a little wave give me a
little wave so we can identify you
there you are there you are and what i
need from you guys is a location but
before you just kind of give me a
country
what i'd love is a really specific
location like a bar
or a cinema something like that but
something that really would be great for
the start of a spy film
supermarket supermarket
okay so supermarket maybe but it would
seem that not all the family are happy
with that
what would you like what would you like
terrifying little girl
so what would you like what location um
i would like a rainforest and someone to
have a pet koala
rainforest pet koala i do think that is
better than supermarket so yeah it
begins
it begins it begins in a rainforest
absolutely and there
is a pet koala in this movie god this is
gonna be exciting so bearing in mind
this is a spy
thriller movie it's at least beginning
in a rainforest or the mission's gonna
be in a rainforest we'll find out
exactly what
and there is a pet koala what i need now
is a fantastic title
for this film something that links them
all together so give me a wave little
team
if you have a fantastic fantastic title
for me give me a wave
um yes stephen smith what do you have
for me stephen smith
come in steven give me the title
you're on mute you're on mute steven
you're on mute from russia with gloves
from russia with gloves i quite like
that from russia
with gloves yeah it's called from russia
with gloves unless does anyone else have
one more title
yes john and alex and judith there's a
wave there's a very cool kind of small
wave going on there
do you have a title for me what is the
title of this film
bias in amazon say that again
eyes in america spies in amazon so yours
is a more kind of what it does like what
it says on the tin
kind of title spies with the amazon logo
underneath amazon oh i see that would
get us in a whole host of copyright
problems
you know what i'm gonna go for we from
russia
with gloves i'm gonna go from from
russia with gloves
but i'm sure there will be there will be
some kind of
amazon moment in there as well i'm
absolutely positive
i'm so pleased you've chose to watch
from russia with gloves it is an
absolutely brilliant spy film but before
we watch that
it's not just the participation panel
that are watching right now there are
people literally all around the world
tuning in have been tweeting in their
ideas about what they want to see
tonight
so we're going to go to social media
corner now and pick it up with henry and
briny what do you have for us guys how
you doing hey oscar how are you doing
hello hello thank you so much for all
your amazing suggestions there is
some truly amazing and truly bizarre
suggestions coming in good ones
we've got a suggestion for three
characters here called trev nevin bev
one who always tells the truth one who
always lies
and one who always breaks into song for
no reason
it's quite good fantastic yeah i think
that's very fun and i've gone back a bit
here and i
really really like this from j mark pym
which is that the film
won an award for the loneliest conga
line
it's so sad there's a couple of other
really really nice ones here
um i think the shortest song about
mushrooms
is quite good from tricia and then we've
also got uh what's this one yeah this is
my favorite
from chris bert best use of a distant
uncle in a plot twist
fantastic back to your oscar amazing
they
are very specific and very very funny
ideas so they're definitely going to
make it into our film
i am so so pleased you have chosen to
watch from russia
with gloves before we start this i just
want to remind
everyone at home everything you are
about to see
is completely improvised the acting the
dialogue it's all unscripted being made
up
as we go along the music is being
composed
at the same time that is being played
and the whole show is being filmed and
mixed and edited
in real time we don't quite know what's
gonna happen it could all go wrong it
could all be brilliant we're gonna find
out tonight
but our film begins our film
begins with this amazing amazing montage
where we see our spy doing loads of cool
different maneuvers
at the end of a few different missions
before
before he wakes up or she wakes up
in a hotel awaiting their next mission
everybody at home please put your hands
together for
from russia with gloves play
[Music]
she's got me
hey i'm gonna steal all of the money
hey hey oh no
you're less sued
[Music]
we have delivered all of the drugs there
is no one who can stop
big tony he's gone that's right he's
gone
so is your ankles
[Music]
i've got you this time cumberbatch
oh you really think so madame glove
i know so cumberbatch i'm holding this
enormous gun
it is enormous so there can be no doubt
your time is finished
thank you in case there was any doubt
here are my friends with some more
enormous guns
oh really well it's such a shame that
i've got
this
[Music]
thank you i gotta say cumberbatch you
never fail to deliver mission after
mission you
always deliver results i gotta say
here at the agency we're real proud of
you oh
thank you l that means so much
absolutely cheers to you for guiding me
through the mission sir
uh you're welcome of course uh who would
have thought that a humble koala bear
such as myself
would have one day risen to the ranks of
agent extraordinaire oh
so many things are surprising about the
beginning of this movie first of all
that cumberbatch our agent was able to
kill so many people
whilst just rolling around on the ground
like a tumbleweed
secondly secondly that she has a koala
bear
as a kind of assistant and also that
that koala bear is
agent supreme but he is and he is the
perfect partner for her play
you taught me all my best moves the
tumbleweed roll
the rainforest climb
some of your best moves exactly we've
been making sure that your koala
partner here can speak perfect english
exactly
and that's why we thought we'd join you
here in your hotel room
for a little celebration of that it's
all gone isn't it great i love the
pull-out bed that they've got for me
who is the guy who came out with the bed
gesturing at it looking lost
place pull out bed
thank you bellhop most kind of you let
me know if you need any more
bubbles i will
i will thank you welcome cumberbatch
we're all very pleased at the agency
with your work recently
and while i'm glad we have the chance to
celebrate
i have some unfortunate news damn we
might notice after bad news
that's correct cumberbatch unfortunately
we have yet another mission for you and
your koala jeffries oh sir
me and koala jeffries were hoping for a
holiday somewhere a nice
a nice get-together a bubble bath you
know some down time i know
cumberbatch i know but crime doesn't
wait
for bubble baths i have some information
on your old nemesis
no yes because
some of the dialogue in this film so far
is beyond unnuanced no
yes a lot of repeating what each other
has just said and interrupting
but i promise you the dialogue becomes
much
better play
madame gloves exactly
madame gloves is once again up to her
old nefarious ways
i really thought i got her that time
when i blew her up with that grenade but
no
she slipped away like the snake she is
that's correct cumberbatch she's up to
her old ways again drug running
crime all kinds of nastiness
it's causing problems for the naras at
the agency and we know that you and
koala jeffries here
are the perfect team to stop madame
gloves
of course we are and uh koala you've
been working on some new gadgets for me
haven't you
yes of course but don't you think it's
time we had a little
break coming back oh it's false yeah i
forgot i forgot
she sees the koala as a pet but the
koala sees her
in a romantic way and it's tragic
because the love
can never ever be returned
play all these years we've spent
together
fighting crime all over the world that's
right when is it going to be time for us
to just
have a little time to ourselves you know
you've surely got a family koala you
could go away with them
you're such a good friend of mine no
koalas
polygamous you know polyamorous
yes a little fat you didn't know koalas
are polyamorous in fact i'm going to put
a little quick clip
of a nature documentary observing
a flock of koala bears that's definitely
not a school of koala but
you also learn the word for a group of
koala bears in this
section play here we see a big
bunch of koala bears
as you can see they're polyamorous
kissing one another what a
dirty
no no absolutely not
that's not acceptable koala bears we go
back
to the main movie back to the main movie
and very soon yeah very soon the mission
the mission is obviously given in a kind
of envelope so they know exactly where
they're going
and we learn a lit we see a little bit
of jeffries the koala bear
and cumberbatch on their own play koala
jeffries you remember
no fraternizing with agents while at
work even if celebrating
now cumberbatch your mission is waiting
for you at the agency
be sure to pick up your mission envelope
and see
our technician for your latest gadgets
enjoy your time
and best of luck cumberbatch thank you
al
i will i'm sick of him
just sick of him taking up all our time
every time we we have a moment together
he's
he's there with another mission
i know i know but don't you want to
rid the world of all these horrible
people koala jeffries
we do good together of course we
are the good in this but don't you think
that perhaps
you're taking on all this work because
you're trying to
cover up your feelings you've never been
the same
not since what happened to
carlotta carlana
my beautiful wife to be
crushed crushed by the glove
of that russian enemy exactly
i remember well you were on that mission
together you made your way into her
secret bunker i did
but then she stepped on a tripwire and a
giant glove landed on her
i remember it almost like it's happening
right now
pause
thank god we had that little clip to
illustrate what that looked like
yeah we go back to the end of this scene
and then of course we cut across to the
amazon
to a treehouse where our villain
the nemesis is plotting
play no
if you never take the time to feel your
emotions you'll never get past it
i know me and carlotta we we never got
the holiday we dreamed of either
it was all too late but that's why
you have to help me this one last time
you gotta help me bring down madame
gloves
of course i will once and for all and
then perhaps afterwards
we can have that holiday together that
we talked about
i'll think about it maybe
you're a good guy koala come on show me
my gadgets
let's go come on
oh they look wonderful madame gloves
closer closer everybody no
too close back off back up yes these
are the gloves that you must wear every
day to show everyone how
wonderful you are a little lower please
yes of course yes very nice
and you bring me my full body glove i
want to try that one
of course i love the full body glove it
makes your whole body look like a hand
and i like big hand i
know you like big hand that is why you
messed up
yes of course of course we're being
introduced to the kind of villainous
sidekicks
trev bev and nev and of course one of
them only speaks the truth
one only speaks lies and the other only
bursts into brief song
play she's the one you'll always count
on
she's the one you'll always know it's
madame glove
thank you pep it was beautiful thank you
trev i look
wonderful today yes you certainly do
resplendent you might say
always looking splendid always looking
incredibly intelligent as well thank you
and
the third one what do you say i do not
think you look beautiful
but of course he lies you see so he
really does think you look absolutely
beautiful
no no madame glover i i am sorry
i don't like this confusion he lies but
his truth
his truth but his lies i find myself
very confused
yeah she's confused she's very confused
who is the fourth one
what does he do i wonder let's find out
let's find out from
tom and marvin what what
what does this particular character do
let's find out guys do you know can you
suggest what this character does
um i think his name is kev
and he um he only speaks french
fantastic yes this is kev who often
speaks
in perfect french play
kev it is very confusing is it not what
would you say a nice
long sentence
yeah he can just about speak french
he kind of makes it funnier he's just
kind of saying truth
lies indignance fantastic i like as well
how much he kind of stutters through
kind of kind of disguising the lack of
french words
deep within a character choice play
[Music]
i agree you you must do what you will
with him
we shall serve you no matter what
kev my guns will play
[Laughter]
i'm worried that although kev does seem
to speak a decent amount of french
the rest of his colleagues are speaking
no french
meaning that potentially he does slowly
start to speak english
just so that this scene has some content
otherwise it's going to be very very
difficult
to cobble anything together play
merci take me out if you want
but we all know cumberbatch is coming
and cumberbatch is going to take you
down kev
meth dev check the windows of this
beautiful amazon bunker
check the wicker ceilings check my
hammock
check everything everything is secure
except for this
cumberbatch's calling card no
where did this come from how could you
have let this make its way into the
bunker it was deep in the pile of maid
what else was in the mail i'm expecting
something some
letters from last christmas i am so
sorry ma'am look we
we try to to keep it from you to keep
you safe to keep you
happy because you keep us so happy but
yes
there has been another mission assigned
to vanessa cumberbatch and i fear that
she knows our location
well then this is very exciting she is
coming for us and we will show her
that we are ready all four of us
see what you're doing now you are saying
foreign
wait wait he shot himself in the head
and came up clutching his chest
simply because he regretted not killing
the other one off i can't wait to see
how this scene
plays out play no don't do it
i need her we always knew i was the
favorite come on bye
from now on you can wear the helmet with
the big metal side
are you bleeding out or are you okay
okay so just the three of us just
the three of us yes
but she she comes we have someone on the
inside who is feeding me information but
it is me [ __ ]
wow i also did not see that coming
don't worry we will be ready for her we
have
something on our side that she does not
have
we have evil she is good and we are bad
yes and as everybody knows bad always
wins
yes especially when bad is hot and sexy
like
us absolutely and has the best gloves in
the world and
and she is clouded by emotion you know
you
killed her only love yes in that
horrific accident
i squished out with a glove like a small
ant
and i will do the same to cumber patch
okay well we must ready ourselves for
her arrival
put me in my metal glove
see you soon cumber patch the woman
who are shaped like a hand
we stopped
[Music]
if she doesn't like you she'll always
take a stand oh that's right
[Music]
is
[Music]
take a step
[Music]
yes of course the character as soon as
they enter
finds the lights only quickly go out
and that scene ends there no he doesn't
he does that scene continues of course
play
welcome to moscow double o 12.
wonderful to have you here i think you
might be talking to the wrong person
no there's less of that there's less of
that obviously
and there's more of the film that we
were watching before that happened
play i'm looking for the braille section
of the library of course
just over there this way this way here
we are thank you
welcome to moscow come the batch thank
you
sir fantastic to see you of course
here we have everything you could
possibly need
over here it's called a gun it's
old-fashioned
but it gets the job done oh i haven't
seen one of these in
what like 30 years wow
here in moscow it's the last thing they
will expect but of course here
is the most important gadget which we've
been working on for the last 12 years
looks like a glove right it does catch
it
wow how does it feel double 12 it feels
silky that's because it's made
from silk
i'm starting to think this is just a
silk glove
but no it does something incredibly
incredibly cool play
but if you were to tap that button by
the side
it will expand and explode in exactly
three seconds wow take good care of this
i will expand and explode in three
seconds wow you're you're a genius
that's amazing of course and i have just
made you a reservation ticket
at the hotel to moscow it's one of the
most exclusive suites
in all of moscow and it's incredibly
incredibly wonderful
fantastic but giles
we had word that i left my calling card
in a in a rooftop in
in the middle of the rainforest surely
you knew 12.
we were under the impression that they
were hiding out the rainforest
yes giles the tech guy is great with
tech
but doesn't know the mission so well
because despite the bad guys
hanging out in a bunker tree house in
the amazon he's bought them
exclusive tickets to a fine hotel
in russia
why would he want to do that
play that's for the holiday that you'll
have
after the no doubt successful mission
wait what's for the holiday
the the hotel five stars brought us to
russia
yeah to show us the hotel that we will
get to go to at the end of the day this
was
there is a quick clip of the koala bear
trying to get through customs
[Laughter]
spread his legs
we go back to the main movie back to the
main movie
particularly the victorian silent
policeman there as well
play i was physically assaulted
i am very confused man sir is everything
okay i heard a koala bear shouting
no uh no koala be here thank you
okay well we'll all be at our desks if
you need us thank you that's so kind
nice to see you thank you thank you amy
now obviously i've made a huge error
and also just spent a lot of government
money
you're devoted okay all right we're
putting you down to level
we'll have to make a new level level
minus one second
okay i heard this man shouting i i amy
giles is mucked up again i'm sorry i
apologize but here we have first-class
tickets
there's no need for first class it's a
scotland it's all right we i got
it no we've got the we've got the
speedboat i brought the speed what are
all these extravagances
listen i apologize i apologize here
are business class tickets why do you
have all these tickets available
multiple tickets i'm wasting half of
them
i made some mistakes but here are two
tickets
to the wilds of peru is that where they
are
better i hope so skylight
you are a useless man but you're damn
fast and expedia
and i appreciate that you too
get on your business class flight an mi5
add six watch results
all right sorry understood
right right they all
take a deep breath and they stop
shouting over each other
so he can follow the story potentially
tertiary character leaves to make it
simpler
and they work out where they are going
play goodbye
dials remember what they said in
business therapy
a deep breath and everything's easier to
handle
i appreciate that good luck in peru
i hear it's wonderful this time of year
year
yeah get down
[Laughter]
right i'm ready we are correct
level by this two giles you'll be
sorting out paper clips from now on
it's time we gotta get the flight right
now or we're gonna be
late and they'll have left your country
is counting on you they're already aware
that we're on our way
we left a business card in their bunker
yeah just a really mess with them
we wanted them to know we were coming
fantastic good i
don't fully understand that plan but i'm
sure you two know what you're doing
you're the best this country's got we're
all depending on you
we know cumberbatch has something
planned we've got to take him down and
fast
let's go come on
[Music]
to the airport okay back through customs
back through customs spread them no
passports sorry
i don't have a passport i'm a koala bear
on you go thank you
well wow
[Music]
it's lovely in business class huh yes it
is
peanuts oh thank you you don't have any
uh
eucalyptus do you oh yeah sure
eucalyptus thank you oh
how have you been i've been
better but i'm glad we're doing this
together
yes me too i uh took the liberty of uh
ordering some champagne champagne you
know we shouldn't be drinking on the job
well it's just that we don't often get
the chance to talk with all the work
and all the all the shooting and the
fighting and swinging through the trees
you know
no it's it's true and all the blowing up
the grenades the the shooting the the
scars i've got
over the years i mean um yes yeah this
is nice
you know cheers all of those scars i
i know you're sensitive about them all
the massive scars on your face and your
body but
i am i think each one of them tells a
story you know a story of
your bravery and your courage just how
wonderful a person you are oh koala
i think you're amazing too i mean i i i
wouldn't
be who i at these scars would be so much
deeper if i
didn't have you they're patching them up
again
i'll remember all the good times we've
had together the time we
fought that shark yeah and the time we
buried that child
in the sand and then dug him back up
again
yes that was a good time oh that was a
good time oh
we saved [ __ ] sailed
over
wow they've been such wonderful times
and
i can't tell you how nice it is to
connect with someone
so many people see a koala bear and they
think oh he's cute
look at his little fuzzy face and his
little button nose
but they don't understand that there's a
real intelligent human
mind in there of course of course there
is
five minutes to landing i wanted to say
just uh before we land i mean
i've always said up to a koala dating
app
oh wow
waiting out what do you think i thought
you did
wow waiting out
what do you think i thought you'd you
know you've been saying all these things
about kind of wanting
love wanting affection needing to spend
time with someone close
yes and that's exactly what i was
getting at that's what i thought
yes so i thought i i've already hooked
you up with cindy
wow cindy yeah yeah hi mr wallerman
lives at the zoo i have a feeling this
has just been filled out by one of the
zookeepers
ah damn it
can you hear me hello it's an audio app
it's a new app who are you my name's
colin i'm a zookeeper
why are you trying to entice koala bears
oh look i okay
i think it's fairly obvious what i'm up
to all right
you've you've you've you've outed me
and i'm going to carry on now with my
other matches
you're a sinister man colin thanks colin
well anyway the app maybe i'll give it a
try later
great means so much to me that that you
care so much
i do i do come on
looks like we're landing yes
bev bring me my gloves bring them to me
here you are
madame glove and bev line up
the koalas of course i want to see
all of them yes this one looks very
scared
and also has a very malleable face i
like
the perfect bait we know that she
travels with her pet koala
very good so she has a roomy pouch she
does
indeed very good and what about these
two their claws are a bit
strange yes these we have infected with
a a venomous
venom that will a fennel must have yes
when they scratch
will infect the we tried with the
non-venomous venom not so good
no okay and show me their pouches
i want roomy pouches to smuggle all of
this delicious
well how do you say in french oh our
poor french friend he is dead
the cocaine perhaps yes
perfect all of these koalas are a close
enough match for us
all we need to do is make the switch my
god you are
clever you are almost as clever as me
but uh that koala
well i found out when i went on the
cover it is in love with her it will be
hard to separate
oh dear and if she loves the koala it
looks like we are going to take the
second love of her life
what a crying shame look i cannot help
but
admire you for what you're doing the
evil and the passion behind it but
bev i feel like there is quite a big
butt coming here well
i cannot help but think of the history
that you had together with vanessa
cumberbatch
all this back and forth the cathy mousty
chasing when will it end
where was the cat where was the mouse it
is koalas i am confused
well you know what i mean it's it's kind
of like a metaphor
for what you're doing sorry
i never you saying you're not loyal
never you say you're not loyal this is a
great question i am loyal
and my love for you is the reason that i
ask this for 10 years we have been back
and forth she is the best spy in the
world
you are the best criminal in the world
you go head to head
she blows you up you kill her wife what
next
put this cocaine in a koala's pouch
yes let him do it
this plan will work
[Music]
[Laughter]
yeah it appears it appears that the
cocaine has gone into the koala bears
system
probably not what that little girl was
imagining when
she suggested koala bears
let's check in with georgina the young
child
now less innocent than she was 42
minutes ago
and her family are you enjoying this
guys
[Applause]
i'm adopting all choirs now
what would you like to see happen to
these koala bears
um shut up
you guys have some issues that you need
to deal with off camera
um i would like um
the girl of the owner of the koala
i don't know um it's a all of the
quieters and also to save the wine
that's about to get blown up
okay well we'll see thank you very much
georgina well we'll see
whether your rather child-like and sweet
idea could
get into the plot or whether just they
all continue to get pretty
mashed up like no
i i cannot watch as these
innocent animals get get blown up by
this massive mound of cocaine
go for it this plan is going ahead
and both of us will be there to see it
through
i've always had you beth i i want to be
there but
but i but i questioned
[Music]
it's tough about death
[Music]
oh goodbye beth back into the cage
koalas yes
oh that was quite fun actually i enjoyed
we're doing the right thing yes this is
good of course it is your master plan
yes it is my master plan i think i will
do evil laugh now
please
you like it very good oh thank you very
much
well we will leave these little carriers
and they will go
into the world and they will spread my
evil substance
and i will be the richest russian in the
world which is quite hard because
there are a lot of very rituals yes
exactly
but i will be better than an oligarch
slip tight
little pouch nice little australian
chums
little eucalyptus loving little buddies
here you go
play alone pause yeah this scene ends
here this scene ends here and now we go
to our special effect this amazing
special effects scene
deep within the heart of the amazon well
we
see our two heroes moving through and
maybe they're gonna come into contact
with some of these other koala bears
that have been dispersed
to do the gloves bidding as we come into
the final 15 minutes of this film
where all of our different sides of the
story start to collide and of course
some of our amazing awards that have
been suggested come into play
play oh koala
koala jeffrey's getting out my
vision binoculars i can see in the
distance
there's some of your kind more koalas
but they they look
completely rabid and [ __ ]
oh my god you're right they're wild
they have shot eyes they're all so
vicious and angry
there's one other there's one right
behind us
[Music]
oh
i'm fine thank you uh what is that you
said your birth
be careful there's something wrong with
it there's something wrong with him come
on nice close
wait i've seen that look at this okay
i'm a koala bear too
i can see that we're we're friends
there's another one we're surrounded
we're surrounded by them what is wrong
with you koala bears oh no i just
suddenly went in my pouch and now i'm
excited
do you want to come get high with us
boys i don't thank you so much it's
free pretty wicked in the rain forest
empty your pouches right now oh i
thought you'd never ask
it's cocaine whoa i know man
you guys this must be part of her evil
plan
to stuff the pouches of koala bears with
cocaine
and in doing so cause problems
yeah i think that is the best we're
going to do
at fully understanding this plan
but maybe maybe there is a way that
these koala bears are going to lure
our heroes into the gloves trap
play oh you guys look tired
oh we are we've been traveling a long
time a long flight
we know a great little oasis where you
can drink and rest
a bunch of koalas they're just having a
nice time getting married together
i guess we could have a little stop off
right that does sound good it would be
good to reconnect with some of my own
kind
of course that's what i want for you oh
yes what
i didn't mean but yes sure we can have a
drink and uh
we fuel before the big the big fight
sounds like a good plan i can almost
smell her in the air i know she's close
all right claus lead the way
that's right that's right thank you
oh yeah drink up left here
thank you thank you so much are you
feeling better now
um so dehydrated
so uh what are you guys into
what are we into what are you into
you look like you're up for some wacky
stuff
you know you're a koalas i've not seen a
human koala pair before
well there's nothing unusual about it
you know just a
human and a koala why would anyone judge
that
perfectly natural what's wrong mike
couldn't get a quad of your own
hey that's not what it was all right and
we're just
friends right yeah he's perfectly
attractive to other koalas
you know i'm available i was just
recently dumped by a
koala called cindy after she turned out
to be a
zookeeper named colin we had a long
online romance
he was catfished by a zookeeper
we've heard of him yes listen there's a
tree house over there
that's it lots of refreshments
you can take a night cap there have a
little wrist out of the rain
yes why don't we do that we we could
just share a room it wouldn't be
awkward or anything all right just this
once
we'll share a room take us there
well we've fallen on our feet haven't we
this is perfect we have look at this
incredible
four poster bed any of you guys take the
full package wow
yeah you guys make yourself right at
home oh it's uh
so nice could i have a moment alone
of course you don't
come about jeffrey so very lovely isn't
it
being here in the rainforest my
ancestral home under the stars at night
hearing the sounds of the animals
it's almost romantic it almost is
the mooing of the cow is so lyrical it's
so moving listen
i'm not sure if there's ever going to be
a better time to say this so
i'll just go out and say it cumberbatch
i have feelings for you real feelings i
i i don't want to just be friends
anymore i i want to be more than that
really yes but we're
we're different species i mean well yes
i don't know that's that aloud probably
not but
how do you feel i mean well sometimes
i've
wondered about slipping a hand in your
pouch
but but then i thought no don't yes i
resist
i've thought the same thing about you
gosh wow
well pause
that is truly horrible
truly unfamily friendly
but yeah it seems that maybe maybe
cumberbatch has sometimes thought about
this koala
i never thought i'd say this that she
has sometimes
thought about that koala in an
unplatonic way
but who knows who knows as we're coming
to the end of this movie with still many
many of our awards still to go
play i mean to the modern day right
who's to say who who one should fall in
love with
exactly it could be anyone it could be
anything
it could be any animal well this is very
lovely
what a moving sentiment
a spy and a koala snuggled up in bed
together
you koalas tricked us no just as
we would wish it is so beautiful if not
a little bit weird perhaps some might
say it's not weird it's totally normal
no it's weird it's super weird it's not
weird yeah it's a modern day
a man can lie with a pig a dog can sleep
with a tiger
not true true absolutely not
yeah no i'm afraid where are my lovely
little other koalas let's take this one
away shall we
he can join the other koalas
it's me jeffrey no
his name is giles the koala is jeffrey
what an absolute boob every night
after night this man comes here
tries his best but never has a clue what
anyone's name is including his own
what is he even doing here 12 years
training that man to mess up
every night what an inconvenience
for god's sake
but yes a twist has occurred and of
course
maybe that twist is all part of the
suggestions from earlier play
come on everyone let's all do the condor
of victory
come on
[Laughter]
i believe the award was the loveliest
conga line
not the most disturbing and desperate
conga line
but yeah in fact everyone leaves
everyone leaves
and he continues to do the conga with no
music
or any support of any kind just alone
and then he ends it with a short song
about mushrooms
play come on everyone everyone get
involved
hey come on everyone everyone do the
console with me come on
dude hey come on everyone everyone do
the congo come on
everyone everyone
everywhere but he carries on
play come on everyone everyone we can do
this as a team come on
everyone do the conga come on dude hey
come on everyone do the conga everyone
enjoy the concert with me come on
giles that was the most pathetic thing i
have ever seen in my life
child get back to mi6 ah your level
minus four
i apologize giles hold on i think i have
something that belongs to you
a silk glove
and if i tap and i throw
what happens charles
you've done mi6 a great service
mushrooms sing it giles
okay
[Applause]
well there we go your last great hope
jeffrey giles no one knows but i think
we can all agree that that conga will
haunt our dreams for as long as we live
which for you two is well a matter of
minutes
you stole my glove yes that's right i
did and now we're about to steal your
kawaii
there's one thing you didn't steal no
what's something you haven't seen in
many many
years what is it it's a gun
the helmet with the big metal side
oh
you forgot i am a woman shaped like a
hand
and i have a metal glove and a metal
helmet to protect me
not even the gun worked and last words
before i dispatch
your koala cumberbatch
don't dispatch him please it's okay
she's dead i'll be okay
no
i am genuinely quite shocked
i'm so sorry georgina
you said that they would all be adopted
and looked after but instead
they've been stuffed full of drugs and
slit ear to ear
i don't know what to say really we've
not taken your suggestion on board
i presume your relationship with your
father is going to become even more
argumentative on the back of this
but don't worry don't worry when it is
darkest
the dawn is often on the way and that's
what we're going to find out in the
final
three minutes of this movie
play triv that was brutal
well done that was yeah come pretty much
look
uh i will take photo of him and i will
put here
next to photo of carlotta squashed by
glove
let me out of this cage uh no i don't
think so
i think you will die in cage trev you
are going to do honors
yes
[Music]
the massive gun that's right the massive
gun you tried to blow me up while
holding but i survived because
evil will always survive now it won't
yes throw it to me
[Applause]
thank you uncle trevor i
thought you always told the truth i'm
afraid i'm the one who always lied
[Music]
shaped like a hat
well done giles you can get up now
fantastic work all round thank you get
out of my cage now
of course well done
well done kind of a batch i'm sorry we
put you through that
we have to thank you yeah hang on so if
he
he was a double agent but why did any of
this
happen if he always knew that he was
going to
kill the glove why did he allow them to
arrive and go through the whole
song can dance hey
i've been undercover with that woman for
years
but i couldn't kill her while i was
undercover
because it would be unprofessional
indeed
[Laughter]
i'm professional no i'm glad
i'm glad you know
it'll be enough for me just to look into
her
gloveless eyes
and just see that she's dead
and she is so that's enough for me
i'm happy i feel resolved
coverbach there was of course another
reason
well everyone at mi6 was worried about
you
a report landed on my desk and said
you've lost your edge
we wanted to prove that wasn't true
you've conducted yourself
supremely i'm incredibly proud of you
thank you mi6 is pleased to welcome you
back i'm aware we didn't tell you you
were going to be fine
you never told me that but i'm glad that
you accept me back
and uh wow the medal of honor
i'll let you two have a moment guys
take yourself up to level five wow
two tickets to moscow thank you giles
enjoy there's a five-star hotel waiting
for us
let's go right now
wow here it is
have you ever stayed in a five-star
hotel caviar
yes please go back oh eucalyptus flavor
thank you you're welcome
look at that a bed
for both of us i bet for both of us with
a tiny little pillow for you and a
big normal pillow for me yes it doesn't
bother you does it that i'm one-eighth
your size
doesn't bother me one bit it doesn't
bother you that i'm all skin and no
fluff
or a bit of fluff oh
god it's like an inflection
they can't just i mean it's hard enough
it's hard enough to make a love story of
a koala and a woman sweet
but yeah we're coming into the final
minute of the movie and it does
end incredibly beautifully play
it doesn't bother me at all every
interview every star tells a story
thank you and i can't wait to live the
rest of my life with you
koala's only live about 15 years so
let's make the most of it
15 years with you will feel like a full
lifetime
i can't imagine spending that time with
anyone else
and together we got rid
of the glove and now i'm ready
for some interspecies love
i love you i love you
[Music]
from
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you thank you
so so much ladies and gentlemen we are
mischief this has been mischief movie
night in we are doing our final show
tomorrow night new year's eve it's going
to be absolutely
fantastic in here so do book your
tickets and come and join us
to see this crazy crazy year out um
suggest
new things it doesn't always make that
much sense it certainly doesn't always
involve the story of a woman falling in
love with the koala bear
and i think after a little debrief it
never will again
but thank you so so much for joining us
stay safe and until we can get this
place full
and you know full of your laughter in
the room
keep laughing at home thanks so much and
good night bye