[Music]
live from london
and streaming around the world
everything you'll see tonight
is completely improvised this is
mischief movie night in
please welcome your host oscar
hello yes hello and welcome
wow yes welcome to mischief movie night
in
welcome to mischief movie night in we
are streaming live from our underground
comedy bunker
where everything you see tonight will be
completely 100
improvised so without any further ado
please everybody watching at home give
it up for our amazing improvised house
band
it's ashani and richard aren't they
amazing
as are all of our amazing improvised
tech and camera people putting this show
together and of course our amazing
improvised cast
fantastic fantastic my name
is oscar and welcome to my movie night
here in my home cinema i have every
single film that has ever been made in
fact i have every film
you could ever possibly imagine and
tonight
we are going to watch one film from my
infinite collection of movies
but which one we watch is entirely down
to all of you
watching from all around the world from
your living room so very soon i'm going
to come to you all for ideas and
suggestions
about what this show is going to be
about we're going to make a start
with our little band of participating
audience here on screen
so first of all i would love to speak
to alex i'd like to speak to alex give
me a wave if i shout your name as well
and then you could be identified quicker
by our amazing team behind there
hello alex how are you hey i'm good
jonathan
very good very good very good um well i
see yes you you quickly changed my name
to oscar which is my name during this
show
um what i would like from you alex is um
a tight is a genre of film that you'd
like to see this evening what would you
like to see
um horror horror genre
horror that is a genre that's a good job
fantastic all right then brilliant thank
you very much alex
now i would love to speak to george
where's george
george cooper give us a wave george
hello
hello and george you are celebrating
today aren't you
yes i am why are you celebrating uh it's
my birthday today
happy birthday everyone whoa
[Applause]
[Music]
what happened there is i thought
everyone was going to join in singing
but
just me just me i'm generally
warming at the camera regretting my life
choices i'm so george
um happy happy birthday mate i hope that
made it for you
um what i would love to know is what
genre of film would you like to see
oh um i'm gonna have to agree and go
with horror as well
okay okay we've never had that before
i've never i've never had an audience
members agree
okay um well thank you that kind of
makes speaking to you a little pointless
if i'm being honest no it doesn't
um great okay okay let's get let's try
and let's try and get something else
alex what give me a wave alex ashley
what ashley what sorry
ashley what give me a wave give me a
wave there you are
actually where are we where are you in
the world at the moment
i am in juneau alaska i know alaska very
well
do you know oh juno alaska i see
the little place you know i'm i
was i was nervous about trying that and
um
and much like singing happy birthday um
i i feel only regret and embarrassment
but that's okay only 5 000 people are
watching
right now so it's okay um actually what
would you like to see
um if you say horror you will be ejected
through the
roof of your flat what would you like to
say i would like to see a fantasy
a fantasy amazing amazing a fantasy and
then let's get
let's get one more just because we've
only got a choice of two so let's
speak to um let's speak to alan aaron
and eva wherever they are
from colerain i believe let's let's
speak to these guys how you doing guys
oh they're muted what a rocky error good
thanks where are you
and what what genre of film would you
guys like to see
oh we'd like to see something
post-apocalyptic please
post-apocalyptic because
2020 just isn't enough for some okay
post-apocalyptic i'm gonna kind of put
that okay
okay i mean i i'm not i hope we don't do
that to be honest
but let's let's let's see because it's
not my choice it's not my choice but i
feel like i'd be a real
downer on paul george's birthday um but
i want what i want you to do now um
audience at home
is i want you to cheer for the one that
you want to see and as well as cheer
wave just because sometimes zoom does
that thing which cancels out sound so
cheer if you want to see something
supposed to cheer if you want to see
something post-apocalyptic let's hear it
okay okay it just looks like four rather
disturbed families all right
um what about what about the the the
thing that was agreed by most
a horror movie tonight one two three
okay i think that is just about in the
lead unless of course
we want to see a beautiful fantasy movie
let's hear for fantasy
[Applause]
it's very similar what did you guys
think what did you guys think
all right fantasy horror it's a
it's going to be a fantasy horror movie
a fantasy horror movie
so it's gonna be it's mainly a horror
film it's mainly a horror film but
there's
someone said that's amazing so that's
good um it's also much harder than just
choosing one genre so
be impressed um okay what i need now is
a brilliant
location for this film so let's speak to
let's speak to um let's speak to who who
do we want to speak to
uh maybe um lena lena jurgens
come in lina can you hear me
lina i need a fantastic location for a
horror movie
what have you got for us oh you're muted
suddenly i'm not embarrassed anymore
no you're muted still come on you had
time to prepare
you're still on mute i tell you what
lena i tell you what lena we're going
gonna come back to you
later because i definitely want to speak
to you um but for now
let's speak to gina k gina k let's speak
to gina k give me a wave gina k so that
the tech team can find you there you go
gina i need an amazing location for a
horror film
where could this film be set obviously
ikea
obviously ikea of course ikea where all
the fantasy horrors are
ikea okay and then let's get let's get
one other idea
from um let's get something from um
veronica let's get something from
veronica give us a little wave veronica
fantastic
veronica where do you want this horror
film to be set
i think a riverbend we're sorry
the riverbend the riverbend okay the
riverbend all right so
we're going to vote for either the
riverbend or ikea the riverbend makes a
lot of sense particularly for fantasy
you know something fantasy something
horror ikea
not so much but let's see what we get
who wants this to be set
on the river bend give me a chair if you
want the river bend
whoa yeah it's just veronica
cheering alone in poland um so that
means who wants this to be a horror
movie with a bit of fantasy set in ikea
we have i don't know i do not know why
people
love ikea so much as a concept but great
this is
a horror movie it's predominantly a
horror movie but it does have elements
of fantasy
and it is set in ikea
late at night when it's at its most
scary i suppose
and what i need now finally is a
brilliant title
for this film so give me a put your hand
up give me a wave if you've got a
brilliant title for a horror movie set
in ikea with elements of fantasy amy
khan
what do you have for us amy khan attack
of the elf help redecorator
attack of the elf health
redecorating elf help redecorate it
yeah not but it doesn't slide off the
tongue perfectly
also brings elves into it which we just
was like they're kind of fantasy
um let's any anything else anyone else
um
an excel and excel do you what do you
what have you got for us
give us a wave again um over here give
us a wave guys
what what um what what title do you have
for us
backpack attack padding
flat pack attack flat pack attack yeah
it's got a round of applause in the
studio
it's as you can hear there's not that
many of us in here
but the the unpopulated studio is going
practically wild um
flat pack attack is the movie that is in
my dvd player
i cannot wait to share this with you all
but before i do
obviously it's not just these guys that
are watching right now there are people
tuning in from all around the world
and they've been tweeting in their
suggestions for the last hour so we're
gonna join dave and brian in our social
media corner
to find out what you want to see tonight
how's it going guys greetings everyone
yes very well we have been scrolling
through
your beautiful tweets amazing
suggestions i've gone back
quite far through the tweets to find
some great ones and this one i really
like
which is from molly uh which is that the
film
won an award for the most inappropriate
time to do an
irish jig
which i really like and a little homage
to that lovely irish family that we're
on
just very good so yeah i think eating of
a banana right there
that's very good um so yeah scrolling
through
we've got one from here we go richard
richard dever white
what a fancy name richard um
okay i'm not gonna take this one because
okay so award
for most decisive action but doesn't
know what they're doing
i would say that's basically the entire
show so
we've won that already i think the
concept of an impression okay here we go
we've got this is from ben brennan um
this is a character all right guys
called you might want to write this down
it's called delta von tussle
all right and uh delta after an unusual
head injury
can only speak in rhyming couplets
so good luck with that it's probably
again it's gonna be harry isn't it
uh you just keep scrolling let's keep
yeah keep looking keep looking and then
i've got one here from lucy which i
think will finish us off which is just
best use of a lemon and i think that
that'd be good so we got to find a place
to get the lemon in
best use of a lemon delta von tussle
and what was it then the irish the irish
jig inappropriate irish jig
back to you oscar amazing
amazing what brilliant suggestions and
also challenging suggestions which is
always fun
right so we're about to start to watch
flat pack attack but before we do i just
want to remind everyone at home if
you're just joining us now
everything you're about to see is
completely improvised
all of the acting the dialogue it's all
being made up on the spot the music is
being composed
at the same time that it's being played
and all the
camera work all the camera work and all
the mixing
is all being improvised as well so it
could all go wrong we do not
know what is going to happen um but i'm
sure it's going to be fun so everyone
around the world
please put your hands together you guys
as well please put your hands together
for
flat pack attack it begins by the way it
begins
with this amazing amazing scene in the
warehouse
in the warehouse of ikea with two
workers who are working the late
night shift and both of them are a
little afraid
to do so please put your hands together
this time for
flat pack attack play
i don't know i find flat pack furniture
quite
[Music]
all you're confusing do is read the
instructions right ben
call in here i'll take you through it
i've always been bad with instructions
that's all right you gotta look at those
little pictures with the man doing stuff
and do it yourself
right yeah
colin colin
not the most helpful man not the most
helpful man but we learn a little bit
about their
relationship as well play you see the
little man in the instructions there
oh yeah you just do what he does and
then your flat pack furniture gets built
that's how all ikea instructions work
see colin you're so clever i mean you
showed me around the
warehouse and guiding me through my
first weeks here
it's so kind you man you're clearly so
good at your job i've
never been able to work that out well
that's all right steve
well you'll pick her up sooner pause
pause
what i like about steve is only two
seconds ago he was called ben
so we find out exactly we found out
exactly what his name
is and yeah of course it seems that ben
isn't ever so competent
and maybe lives a fairly dull life as
well play
it's uh it's ben oh sorry i
i did i kept calling you by your last
name steve ben steve
great name all right yeah sure well
ben you've only been working here real
real short you know not a whole lot of
time you calling me shorts nah i don't
mean that
i got a real complex about that i'm
sorry have a seat you're really short
steve
oh come on it's bad yeah could you reach
that on the top shelf i don't think so
steve
it's ben hey why do you get some steel
shirt guys
i'll have words with hr what look ben
what's that guy
my name's hr your name is hey i got a
problem with it
no no no are you insulting henry reagan
the president of ikea no of course not
sir
no president thank you
ben colin it's time to lock up make sure
those doors are fastened
shut to the warehouse where the flat
pack furniture is stored
we will don't worry listen then i can
take you through all the flat pack
furniture you want but right now
we need to make sure these are stored in
the warehouse lock the warehouse uptight
you know we have to lock it up tight
every night
why is that well
they say there's something that creeps
into the warehouse
every night unless it's locked up tight
and if you're in the warehouse that
thing gets in
i'm just saying it's dangerous all right
i just
i don't want to talk anymore about it
all right let's just get these
flat pack cases into the warehouse and
lock up and go home
[Laughter]
it appears the thing that sneaks in
is the fonz
[Laughter]
yeah this is really cool because we're
gonna kind of find out whether this is
merely a kind of prologue scene with a
really kind of disposable character
or whether we're not it's not gonna get
too scary just yet we'll find out in the
next two minutes as this scene comes to
an end play
come on ben we gotta hurry up and put
these boxes away all right make sure we
lock up the warehouse tight
all right all right there's good
okay okay
[Music]
all right ben did you lock up those
doors yeah i'm locking them now
colin okay great
hey hey ben becky
you locked me in here
pause yeah amazing and that scene ends
there
that scene ends there it would appear it
would appear that poor colin
has already been taken by whatever it is
that sneaks into the warehouse
but now we go up to the high head office
where hr is talking to one of his
minions and we learn a little bit more
about the problem
that ikea seems to be having
play mr president sir please have a seat
uh it's my own office i don't need you
to give me permission no sir you're
going to want to sit down for this news
what is it
rumors have been spreading amongst the
workers so and i know you don't like
rumors why are you crouching you trying
to patch you nicely
sorry do you want to get on my back
again please all right samson i know
i can see and think better from up here
so
look out of the window look at
everything you've made god isn't it
beautiful
it's absolutely beautiful sir but sir
you can't you can't possibly run it all
by yourself
it's it's impossible sir it's too much
to handle
you see sir the rumors between the
workers are spreading
they say down in the warehouse there's a
monster a monster that it kills the
workers
[Music]
you do i have a movement sir i've broken
my secret
what i like about hr the president of
ikea is he has the look of a man
who really thought his character was
just a one-off joke moment
that wouldn't really become particularly
integral to the story
but no he is really really important
yeah what we're going to learn because
obviously there is a fantasy level to
this as well as horror
we're going to learn where that monster
is coming from
and do they need to send someone to try
and stop it
play samson what do you know about the
rumors so
if your sacrum can handle it have a seat
i know if you get cancer
all right sir sir they're saying it's
coming from the flat pack warehouse sir
but the the flat pack items are
assembling themselves into some kind of
crazy monster come here let me tell you
something
my family generations of the hr's
every single one of us first name age
we've been paused and he names
ten of them play henrietta
hampson kingus halibury
and you've really gone off the wall
quite quickly
[Music]
you're not finished with the name sir uh
hillary uh hamilton
uh henderson a lot of his
uh have i said hingis yeah
pinkerton that was the starter of
a beautiful name for a girl and then
lastly um
sir it was named after a rare mineral
by me i don't think you're taking the
news of the monster quite so much i'm
trying to tell you something sims
i know all about the monster he's
he's tall through my generations of
family members
it's a spirit that comes in the middle
of the night it takes over
the things that you built up blood
threatened tears
and it comes crashing down on top of you
sir you
you're saying what i think you're saying
are you saying that
this has been a cover-up for many many
years that workers in ikea have been
dying and
you and your family have been covering
it up why do you think we don't offer
insurance something
all i want to know is what i can do to
help sir
there's only one man that can help
samson one man out there
in the wilds he knows all about the
monster
he's faced the monster once before
you'll have to go out
find this man he has no name
i will only answer by a witcher he will
only watch her
answer by a whistle like this
no wait my lips will break wait oh
everything about hr is lived aggressive
and totally unhelpful hard to tell what
he's saying then when he does say
something he can't deliver on the thing
he said he'll do
yeah we learn about this man with no
name and of course it's all going to
point back
it's all going to point back to ben
steve who we saw
at the beginning of the movie play a
whistle
fine whistle you got there sir but sir
i'm scared
i don't want to leave you on your own
i'll be fine samson but sir i would
i would never forgive myself if i left
and something happened to you and
and all that you've built sir samson if
anything happens to me i want you to
take over this business
change your name to something with hr in
it but my god run it like a good man
you're handing it over to me sir it's
all your samson if anything happens to
me
but until that day you will obey
yes sir now go find the man with no name
in the wilds
we need to stop this before it gets out
of hand yes sir
yeah and now we go back to ben steve we
go back to ben steve
who's come home after a long day um and
he's with his flatmate and we're gonna
learn a little bit more about how he
lives
but also maybe some of his interests
and maybe they're helpful to what's
going on play
[Music]
oh helen
how are you i'm great how are you
i was just cooking up something nice for
you to eat oh thanks
making lunch again that's right well i
know you work up a big
stomach after
i'm so bad at cooking i just can't
follow a recipe similar to instructions
i just
struggle with them you know i find
everything overwhelming that's all right
big day huh yeah i don't think anybody
likes me there
how could anybody not like you you're
incredible
you got so much going for you pause
party this is a really lovely part of it
obviously they both have feelings for
each other
but they've never been ill to tell each
other play
i just think there's so much nice stuff
about you you know you're uh
you're uh well you've got that
that lovely shot with the
one of those archery yes
well i love archery it was you who got
me into it helen
oh i know well i never even knew what it
was before you took me
oh i just sharpen your arrows and you do
the rest you know
well we're the greatest team and you
know when i've made enough money from
ikea
maybe we can go for the world
championships like we said we always
would
oh i'd like that gotta be so nice
oh you know while i was doing some
cooking i i came across this lemon
lemon yeah
i uh i've carved it into a
a love heart i thought you might like it
wow
my my mother always used to say when
things are at their
sourest well that's when they become
most beautiful
when they do it their service that's
when they become
beautiful
yeah if you listen very carefully you
can hear the mother and maybe later we
get to see her too play
and i just thought well what's sour than
lemon
alive mother always used to say it was a
lime but
i i like the color of a lemon yeah yeah
it goes perfectly with these pancakes as
well
exactly enjoy
your mother sounds like a wise woman oh
she was oh wow
she always told me that you could find
magic in the simplest of things i found
magic in a matchbox one
and also in a jar of preserves
she found magic in a jar of
preservatives fourth boss in the
director's cut of this film
there was a quick clip of the mother
finding magic in a jar of preserves i'm
just gonna put that on it's in the
director's cut
play
oh my god this magic indeed
we go back to the main movie we go back
to the main movie
play well this is so nice you know i uh
i actually kind of got you something
really
me oh we're not supposed to stale things
from work
but i got you this it's called a snaffle
doodle
well that's what the name is you know
snaffle doodle that's right
what does it do
wow oh it's beautiful i love it
well i saw it and i thought of you boys
what is it it is specifically described
what it is because at first i thought it
was just a kind of swedish sounding name
for like a
small coffee table but it appears to be
something much more magical and
fantastical than that play
indoor fireworks wow
totally safe and beautiful look at them
all around the room
lighting this place up it's incredible
ikea really can't do anything to make a
place look great
the fireworks have they seem to have
dispersed all the smoke that i had from
cooking
they've got rid of it all and look at
this it spells out things in the sky
oh hr industries
some of them are the commercial but you
know there's personalized ones as well
how about this one what a great gift
spend your money at hr
that's another one uh i'm sure i've got
a nice one here somewhere
hr is the greatest all right let's
try one more at will you marry me
in a hr sponsor check
helen i know we've not been dating long
but i don't know
hi i just know you know i i know you're
taking care of me knock knock knock
knock knock knock knock
um hello holler shar am i interrupting
something
i need to speak to you very urgently oh
oh well
this can wait don't worry it sounds
urgent well you're from the office uh
this is
that's right are those sanctioned
products
yes i can tell when you're lying
may i have a moment alone with boy of
course
i'll uh be upstairs preparing my finger
[Music]
oh that is my favorite part of a movie
show
let's rewind that and make her relive
that moment again and again
play may have a moment along with the
boy of course
i'll be upstairs
preparing my fingers
let's rewind that again rewind remind me
why everyone
pause but this time let's watch it with
the close-up
zoom on to really really see the look in
her eyes
play may i have a moment alone with the
boy of course
i'll be upstairs preparing my finger
i'm sorry about helen sometimes she
drinks in the day pancake
absolutely i understand that
i understand that she needs to prepare
her finger
my my boss also press his finger hey
char prepares
that's right although i imagine for
something different
please have a seat on this ikea foldout
chair
and face me perfect i'm afraid
i need to ask you a few questions about
what you saw in
the warehouse the other night you only
me and colin were locking up
you locked him up but what did you see i
locked colin up
you locked the doors and then what
happened oh no i know i'm bad at
instructions
i he said to lock the door so i just did
it i
is he all right no he's dead
he was torn to pieces yeah laughing
don't laugh at the death of a colleague
it's just i'm very very awkward about
this oh you can stop being coy now boy
i know the rumors and the bosses sent me
on a special journey
you tell me about the rumors everything
you know about the flat pack monster
all right uh well you know me and colin
have been working together for a few
days now so
you may have mentioned it once or twice
or numerous times
the flat pack monster it's been there
for a long time did you see it
i heard it all right you're coming with
me boy
and you need to follow my instructions
very carefully or you could get hurt
we're going to find a crazy man in the
woods crazy man in the woods apparently
he can help as much as you let's go all
right yes
so now we kind of have our fantasy kind
of element to this as they go on a kind
of strange
quest to find them with no name in the
woods
and this is an amazing kind of special
effects scene
where we see we see the man in the woods
kind of hovering
in the air at points the man in the
woods with no names
knows everything and can give them
specific information that will hopefully
help our story
begin to make some semblance of sense
play all right follow me through this
crazy jungle
wow it's amazing here pass through the
desert and then we'll nearly
be there jump under the mushrooms
now listen to me very carefully i
i can't get the thought out of my mind
that i interrupted something very
important in your life when i came to
your house well i had just proposed to
the girl that i'm in love with and
now i don't know whether she's gonna say
yes or no and i don't know i get awfully
nervous
did i come in right at the apex of the
moment literally at that time oh i'm so
sorry i'm such a clutch
it's fine but you'll never know
i didn't tell you this could be a
one-way trip what
[Music]
you mean i could die we both could the
flat pack monster is ravaging the staff
it has been for years
it's a whole cover-up from ikea but
you're the only one you're the only one
left alive that knows anything about it
oh my god all right you watch my back
i'll watch yours and we'll watch both of
each other's fronts
that's right all right we were
teleported
do you know how to whistle sure
what i enjoy about this scene a lot is
the floating fingers
behind them have a look at this play
[Laughter]
here in a graveyard of some sort
i'll whistle maybe that'll do something
[Applause]
no need to be angry no need to grieve
hello steve you it's ben
oh my god yeah this is obviously
the man who speaks in rhyming couplets
and that and they were looking at a man
who has obviously spent a long time
thinking about what rhymes with steve
only to be reminded
that his name is ben play
your name is ben let's do that again
no need to be angry no need to grieve
tis i the man with no name
ben
[Music]
bart's sorry to interrupt again but
remember from the beginning he actually
does
have a name that name was suggested on
twitter
so he's going to remember that name but
also we're going to discover why his
legs have
gone play how did you know
how did i know how did i know a good
question
indeed i'm so sorry i got your name
wrong steve
ben i bet that's right there's one thing
that i must say
and it's important that you know i only
speak through kuplay
play what is what is what is what's
wrong
is a rhyme and i'll say it again
my name is the man with no name
the hen colin was telling me about this
guy
he's telling me about an ancient ikea
language kuplay
ah this is all news to me but it sounds
like you know what you're doing
well it's colin colin knew everything
and colin's dead you
look like you could use some advice well
i'll tell you something extra special
nice
he's obviously giving himself a lot of
time to think of these rhymes
so i am surprised they are not
significantly better than
spice and nice and the word kooplay
that didn't rhyme with the previous word
either
also what is his name his name is not
the man with no name it was suggested on
twitter
play i've said it once and i'll say it
again i straight out refuse
to tell you my name and that's not
because i can't remember
it's because i forgot in early december
that you leave me out of it i haven't
been here for years
samson my secret's feeling a-okay uh
prepare my ring later
so the man with no name
oh should i say deed of aunties
we go way back to vegas so i have a
question for you
you sent me on this quest with a boy but
you're here now
that was the point sir because i wanted
us to get together in the woods
we're not in the woods we're in the
desert
we've come too far fabric you let this
happen
listen this is the man there are reasons
three the first
is because he's very good at archery the
second
is because he has power unbridled
the third is that
there is a big rival and the rival
more important than silva or myrrh
is the monster of flat pack furniture
that's right frontiers
he always make me introduce him his no
name cause of the whole reveal thing i'm
sorry
all right let's get quickly back to ikea
you need to kill the flat pack monster
but but how i mean he didn't tell us how
he could kill it but archery
my god he's disappeared again archery
maybe he means that i should use my
archery skills against the monster i
think that's exactly what he means
you three generations of hr if you did
i don't know why i haven't done archery
in a long time
why not well because i've been working
so hard at ikea to raise money to
enter the world championships with helen
helen i'm sorry
i don't mean to blurt but i'm leaving
because my legs are starting to hurt
that's front teeth for you a real leg
tees
come on simpson let's get back to the
outfit all right wait up
sir please you'll be growing weaker by
the day have a seat
you haven't prepared my finger in weeks
it's a different kind of preparation you
shouldn't be here for this
here let the boy watch what i don't know
what goes into preparing a finger
i like to feel the spleen you know oh
right i'm getting really cross with this
movie now
because 40 minutes have gone by and it
still isn't about
anything they went on a quest
they went to a quest to speak to a man
who could barely rhyme
and all he told them was that he was
good at archery and he knew that before
and i'm pretty sure what helen meant was
he was good at slingshot anyway in the
first place
but they're back in ikea now there's
only 20 minutes to go and they
know they need to hunt this monster down
and they're gonna have to do a stakeout
and of course they're going to have to
try and use their archery skills
and believe you me it's gonna start to
get pretty
horrifying now we're gonna start to see
deaths
we're gonna start to see some really
scary bits and pieces
play sir if i may
your state of mind has got so much worse
you sent me out on this crazy mission to
meet this crazy man
and all he did was tell us what we
already knew but there's got to be a
a reason like i said monties had met the
monster once before
it took his eyes and now he can only
speak in kublai
sir he's just a crazy man in the forest
but there's got to be a reason that
brought you here
he's the only one who's faced the
monster and survived
he said archery so that's the way we
take the monster down but you don't have
to do it
apologies there's something i forgot
this magical slingshot
wow so not archery all right then
slingshot and archery all right
an arrow in the slingshot listen you two
if you don't mind me saying don't look
like archery types no
i'm more of a polo man i play mahjong no
right well it looks like the only thing
we can do
is have an archery montage that's right
ben
but before you do it you don't have to
you're soon to be a married man
i don't know if she's gonna say yes yet
but that's not worth risking your life
for ben you can
you can walk away now leave all this
madness behind
live the life you want to live
is my third day at ikea i love this
company
and i will do whatever it takes to save
it
archery and slicks
[Music]
you gotta take
[Music]
now i know what we must do
to feed this monster and get through
and we will be the greatest
[Music]
is
[Music]
[Applause]
amazing yeah now we go down to the
warehouse the flat pet warehouse
as they start to try and kill the
monster play
[Music]
right this is where i last heard it
jump on there john his condition worsens
by the day
it's a monster
god oh my god it's so much more
terrifying than before
on the floor the floor has been
scattered with many many booklets and
instructions
there's too many instructions to follow
it's it's putting me off my age
no the instructions are not for you ben
they're they're they're just scattered
here to confuse you focus your mind
all right all right archery slim shot
last time last time he came out we were
talking about locking up
ikea he's getting closer
you are the chosen one you must do
something all right
i'll do what i did last time it came out
it looks like we're gonna have to lock
up now you minded
[Music]
how have they not seen that
how have they not seen that amazing yeah
obviously this is a horror film so i'm
sure very soon they're at least thing
that's split up because we're going to
start to see some death
play not dwelling
it's got me no crusher between
two bookcases
[Applause]
[Music]
you can find magic in
everything i love you
hello
i wish i'd done more to save her
helen what have i done
ben
it's me helen's
mom's ghost helen's mother
i'm so sorry about your daughter i did
everything i could i fired a few arrows
and then i stayed right here
all may not be lost
remember when things are at their most
sour soon after that
they will become beautiful roughly
right but how are things going to get
sour in this situation
things are sour you said that's right
what i'm saying is it's sour now but
soon
you might just find some magic in a jar
of preserves
preserve preserve preserve
where'd she go
the monster's broken out of the
warehouse it's running around the town
this is all my fault ben ben
i'm so sorry i had to take hr to safety
he's the only one i care about
how's his finger it is
it is broken oh god we i tripped and
fell on the way out
and it's shattered his finger his whole
hand is a mess
but you ben what happened in here your
your wife to be was crushed between two
bookcases
and the monster still lives the monsters
escaped
but i spoke to helen's mother what
she said i need to go out there and find
a jar of preserves
that'll release the magic and i'm sure
that somehow will help us defeat the
monster ben this is madness
can you hear yourself any monster is
getting in your head
i thought that you were the one but you
are not
you have let your wife to be the love of
your life die
have made a shame of this company and
you
you are the lowest person on earth
wait stop working back be careful it's
right behind you if you move it'll get
you
oh no they have assembled from the
summons chest of easy open drawers
you've just got to stay still okay
i'm going to get you out of this buddy
no friend
they have got me you you have even
failed me right now
the only one that believed in you
look inside yourself
the monster god
oh god
yes that is the suggestion of the most
emotionally eaten banana
a suggestion i believe we didn't accept
i mean there is still one other thing we
need to see
play there's only one thing to do when
an
ikea employee dies in ikea
irish jig you're right
you're right did someone say i was jake
did someone say irish chicks
did someone say spanish tango
no no not for you one two one two three
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
four
[Music]
we are not going to move on until at
least
two consecutive moves are in unison
play
[Music]
well done trump well done let's move
lovely job
hr samson's dead helen's gone your
finger's broken
we're at our lowest step hey
i'm fading samson was my lifeblood
what's happening to your hand
it got mangled samson's ripped i don't
want to talk about it
hey without my finger i'm gonna die what
it's true it's
the hr way ben
promise me you'll carry on the company
of course i've worked here
for three and a half days now you're the
most qualified employee i've ever had
faith brought us together babe
i love you hr i love you
[Music]
[Laughter]
i need your help more than ever i
followed your advice
i used the archery i used the magic
slingshot but everybody
said of course i am sorry to interrupt
again but i have to say
why did they have to go on a quest to
meet delta
when delta seems so so
keen on coming to them quite frequently
my god he better have something useful
that moves us on play
another piece of advice maybe one more
thing you deserve
did you get any advice about the gyro
preserve
yes yes i did but i need to find them
okay
on to piece of advice number two
your slingshot is magic
but maybe it's time to find the magic
in you you you
you that was deltavan castle
the man with no name
he said my slingshot is magical
introducing delta
castle the man with no name
yes desire back again to say
words of wisdom so heed them i
say can you remember the piece of advice
i just gave you
because that piece of advice is
glisteningly true
[Music]
that was delta
the man with no name
yeah he has another incredible sequence
of rhymes now
i just want to speak very quickly to um
to
tyler mann tyler mann give me a little
wave tyler man
howdy howdy tyler mann in canada what i
want you to do is obviously he's gonna
rhyme some words we've obviously learned
that this guy
is a highly skilled rhymer can you think
of one of the words that he rhymes
something with
uh flam flat
flab flam
fantastic yes and now let's ask someone
else in the audience let's go back to
our thing
um stephanie stephanie rogers stephanie
rod just gives a little wave
when you've stopped kind of laughing
stephanie i remember you saying that you
are you told me
you're a neuroscientist um give me a
complicated word from deep within your
mind and brain that
that he's gonna do some rhyming with
we've got flav and what's another word
in this poem
amygdala amygdala fantastic
amygdala oh my god i'm looking forward
to this
thank you very very much guys and we're
gonna go back to the film now
but i find maybe it's the final piece of
advice although i imagine it might not
be
but some rhyming including the flam and
amygdala
amygdala i believe is the thing that
gives you a sense of guilt or
shame so if you're a psychopath maybe
your amygdala doesn't work so well is
that right stephanie
it doesn't matter we'll find out if i'm
smart another time i'm probably wrong
play flam flam flam
now is the time for you to become a man
you have a feeling like the tightening
of a sphincter
well that's probably just the feeling of
amygdala
[Applause]
thank you that was delta volcano
the man with no name self-managed
thank you for everything delta now i
know what i must do
the slingshot's magic i'll use these
fireworks
to spell out where i should go to find a
preserve in the sky
i hope this works or maybe i too
will die
[Music]
it's right behind you
it's right behind me magic and you
you you magic and you you
jar of preserves right behind you
there's a jar of preserves inside me
that's right i must get it out as fast
as i can
the only way i know how i'm gonna use
some of these things at the ikea store
to get it out of myself all right
i'm gonna need a spangle doodle bangle
doodle that's right
and i'm gonna need a finger fangled
fingerpage
that's right and now the final piece
a little sprinkling of
sugary yeast
here's your yeast
the jar preserves quickly i must open it
oh it's stuck god damn it if only my
finger was prepared
[Music]
i'm gonna have to prepare my thing
right up to the spleen they said
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
shhh
[Music]
who's the really alarmed woman at the
back
play papa
where where am i where's
where's my papa hq whoa
it's what's your name little girl my
name is henrietta
and am i papa it's cute
senior oh my gosh oh
no it's hr it's hey jar
it's two letters are you misremembered
but hq without the minutes left of the
film
a new character has arrived
to wrap up the story of this other woman
who's not been in the movie that much so
far
they wrap up their story pretty bloody
quickly because they're irrelevant
and we learn about ben
steve sampson helen if she has made it
and hr
play thank you for liberating us ben hq
little hq i'm bx this is my wife
jay-z thank you for liberating us
from the ikea warehouse we are forever
grateful
thank you so much everybody who was
taken by the monster
they've come back call it
you saved me from the monster
thank you oh you're welcome paul of
you've come back
where's helen ben i'm afraid i have some
excellent news you're afraid
yes i'm afraid the news will be so
excellent it's probably me in the back
you excuse me i'm i'm talking
what what's the news then turn around
and see your fate
stop excuse me i'm trying to have a
conversation you understand
ben you are missing the point
behind you it's your love
your life helen
alive you didn't recognize me with all
the
with all the flat pec sawdust all over
me i understand
helena we've defeated the monster you
did it
i think everything's gonna be okay now
did you use mama's preserve
yes he did
mama you're back too that's right
after 15 years of being trapped under a
ton of flat pack furniture in this
warehouse
i've been liberated by ben stephen
ben stephen bs
[Laughter]
bs yeah the love of my life
you're the love of my life helen and
this is gonna be a new day
for all of us everyone here a new dawn
is rising for ikea can i join in
of course but wait there's a question
you never answered helen
of course
[Music]
will you marry me my finger
could not be more prepared
here i am again and i don't think it's
too far
to tell you that i'm a registered vicar
my god marry us right now
i will marry you now and i also will say
that it can be an awful lot of fun
talking
in cool play
you are now married congratulations
i hope you have a lot of fun
[Music]
the sun's rising over ikea
well means i've been working here for
four days now
four whole days feels like a lifetime
doesn't it
how about we get ourselves some
meatballs
that's right some meatballs
and then we'll buy some furniture for
our new house
i love it we're going to build a life
together we're going to build a life
starting here
going down ikea going down the
aisles and picking different things
like doors and chairs and tables
remarkable sets of rings
picking out new furniture for
our gorgeous house
i want to be your
new spouse it's a new day
in nike
[Music]
it's a new day
[Music]
have you seen here is
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you so so much to our amazing
amazing amazing audiences
on our little panel there and watching
all around the world we are mischief
this is mischief movie night in
we will be doing the show two more times
tomorrow
and on new year's eve so if you want to
come and suggest ideas and we're going
to improvise our whole movie based on
them
please come book your tickets now and
we'll see you very soon thanks so much
and until we can get this place full and
be in a theater again
stay safe keep laughing and have fun
cheers bye