live
from london and streaming around the
world everything you'll see tonight is
completely
improvised this is mischief movie night
in
please welcome your host oscar
hello wow yes
hello hello hello hello and welcome to
biscuit movie night in
welcome to our secret undisclosed
wow this is so exciting everything
you're going to see this afternoon
is completely improvised so without any
further ado
please give it up for our amazing
improvised house band it's ashani and
richard there they are still
as there are incredible technicians and
camera people
cutting this whole thing together as you
watch it and of course our amazing
improvised cast
wow this is exciting hello everyone
my name is oscar and welcome to my movie
night
here in my home cinema i have every
single film that has ever been made in
fact i have every film you could ever
possibly imagine
and this afternoon stroke this evening
we are going to watch one of those films
but which one we watch is entirely down
to all of you guys
the viewers quite literally at home
streaming in
from across the world so i'm going to
come to you all now for ideas and
suggestions about what our film is going
to be about so without any further ado
let's go and say hello to the
cunninghams the cunninghams give us a
wave the cunninghams and say hello
hi there you are you're coming you're
coming you're coming
there we go there they are how are you
guys
we're very excited about this fantastic
those two us two and so what i would
love to know from you guys is what genre
of film would you like to watch
today okay okay you say ella
um like an animal body
kind of thing like an anima i don't even
believe you know what that is but okay
an
animal like a buddy a buddy movie with
animals so it's like family friendly
body movie
family friendly okay fantastic fantastic
i feel like that's the warning of a
father to say this better be family
friendly
okay
an animal family friendly buddy movie
fantastic and now let's
speak to luke let's speak to luke
where are you luke there you are there
you are
hello come on in guys hey how are you
doing
good good fantastic and whereabouts are
you guys
sorry where where whereabouts are you
in the world in the netherlands in the
netherlands and whereabouts
oh for racial
fantastic i'm sorry i knew i knew you
guys were dialing in from
holland but i just think it's so amazing
that you know this afternoon i know
we've got people who are here
from italy from america from thailand
from holland it's just so cool how
international this is and what i'd love
to know i know so what i'd love to know
from you guys
you guys are awesome what i'd love to
know from you guys is
what genre of film would you like to see
bearing in mind that mr cunningham wants
this to be family friendly
um we thought of a detective
melodrama movie detective
melodrama fantastic fantastic yeah with
like deaths and
child-friendly murders yeah that's gonna
be good okay um fantastic i'll see you
soon guys i'll see you soon guys and now
i'm gonna come to the aboris family the
aboris family
one one of the aboriginal family is
wearing the best costume
of the afternoon i mean granted not many
other people are wearing a costume but
look at that
look at that there it is that's so cool
that's so cool and
what what would you like to see guys
what genre of film do you fancy seeing
you um a murder mystery
kind of one mother comedy we're thinking
a moderate comedy murder did you say a
moderate comedy
well yeah we could be mother in the
comedy yes oh more in the comedy i
thought you said moderate comedy i was
like
hopefully we'll do more than moderate
comedy but yeah a murder mystery a
murder mystery well that's quite good
because it fits quite well
with the detective kind of murder
mystery story so we can kind of club
them together okay
so we're going to vote now see if i
could see all of our amazing
participation
participations people at home what does
that mean
um what i'd love to do now is i want you
guys to cheer
but also wave your hands for the one you
want to watch so
either we're doing an animal buddy movie
that's very family-friendly
of a detective murder mystery so really
kind of different genres here so
give me a cheer if you want detective
murder mystery one two three
[Applause]
bloodthirsty matinee audience there
today um and give me a cheer if you want
an
animal body movie one two three
okay it's a detective film but
my god all of the characters are animals
so watch out watch out for that we're
gonna join them together fantastic
so what i need now before we carry on is
just an amazing location for this film
so um mel mel and her family can i can i
say hello to mel and her family
um what i want to know from you guys is
what location
is this film set in and before you say
like a country what i want is something
really specific
so a hotel for example something like
that
a shopping center fantastic where all
the murders happen
a shopping center fantastic a shopping
center okay brilliant and let's get one
more idea let's get one more idea
let's speak to vicki hughes and family
vicki hughes and family wherever they
might be where are they vicky hughes and
family
there here they are hear that oh my
sorry what
where would you where would you like
this murder mystery with animals to be
set
it's got to be a village church the
village church
okay in fact yeah i like that i like the
village the village church that's
slightly
that's i imagine there could be a murder
in the village and yeah that really fits
some ways you really sound like the man
who's committed
[Laughter]
i grew up in a village
i'm terrified no okay so this is yeah
this is a murder mystery
set in a um set in a village village
church and
all of the characters in this including
our our detective they're all
animals and some of them really get on
um and what i need now is bearing that
in mind
i need a title for this film so give me
a wave if you've got a fantastic
title for this film luke straight on the
board again luke what do you think this
should be called give me a title
sure lock the door sure
locked the door oh i see sherlock the
door
lock the door sherlock with the door
very good very good upon
and in a second language that's pretty
damn impressive um and now what i need
meredith i saw you as well meredith
could you give me a title please for
this movie you had an idea
what would you like this film to be
called who bunnett
who bun it i see because of bunny
rabbits i'm guessing
who bonnet i think that's very good i
think that's very good right we're gonna
we're gonna open it to another waving
and cheering vote
so cheer and wave for the one that you
really want this to be so give me a
cheer if you like sure lock the door
the stevens family like that and and the
people that suggested it
i think that means we're gonna be
watching who bonnet give me a tv like
who
it yes oh you won't believe it guys but
who bonnet is in my dvd player all
ready to watch i cannot wait to see this
film but just before we start
it's not just you guys who are watching
today and suggesting stuff
there are literally thousands of people
watching right now
and they've been tweeting him with
different suggestions about what they're
going to see
in this show so let's speak to brian and
dave over in our social media corner
how's it going out there guys
hello very good welcome to social media
corner with all of your
excellent suggestions uh now we've been
using our own personal devices
and uh going through them all because we
have so many um
and so actually i found one straight
away from uh from paul
who wants an award for being
consistently too early
so uh we have i think we'll have a
character
that is uh consistently enters too early
um i think harry kershaw does that most
of the time anyway
yeah so we're uh we're probably covered
um
there was one just up if you go back
back scroll back down
that was quite good which i think could
be quite good for the their award for
most
intimidating stare down the camera very
good i think it's quite nice to
use the use of different camera angles
things like that
that could be fun and then i've got one
from further back as well
which is a um cara another character
suggestion
for a taxi driver who finds birds
hilarious
does that fit which i really like that
one's from anna and i just got
that's great funny bird taxi driver man
bunny bird
taxi yeah tax driver who finds birds
hilarious character that enters too
early
and most intimidating stare down the
camera
you know a moment of intense that's
murder mystery we've got too much now
but this one is character can only speak
in sentences of three words
that is too difficult sir all right
we've got enough now
back to you oscar amazing fantastic
right well i think we've got
everything that we need to make an
amazing movie so
just to remind you everything that
you're about to see everyone at home
is totally improvised all the dialogue
all the acting it's totally improvised
but not just that
all the music that you hear is being
made up on the spot
all the camera work is being done on the
spot they don't know where anyone's
going to go and it's all being mixed and
put together
live and in the moment so this really
could all go wrong anything could happen
but i hope it's going to be amazing this
movie starts with this fantastic
sequence where we see lots of different
animals
from around the village all being
invited
all being invited to the village fate
which
happens at the church and is being held
by the vicar who is a bunny rabbit
everybody at home everybody on this
little panel here
please put your hands together for the
amazing the incredible
family-friendly yet often melodramatic
who bun it
[Music]
[Applause]
oh look we've got some post and it's
it's got the vicar's seal on it what can
it say
open it quickly we've
been invited to a soiree in the vicar's
house two lonely
oh mr rabbit we're moving up in the
world
i'll go put these in the garage okay
dear mr and mrs peacock
you are totally invited
to attend the vicar's fate
darling well they need something to make
it look good let's get their
posthaste
[Laughter]
what animal is that let's find out
play baby
[Laughter]
[Music]
again this early on but what i really
enjoy about this
is the bearded animal seems to become
more like the other animal the more the
scene goes on so he entered in quite a
normal way
but then he too adopts the kind of weird
tom thing
just gonna rewind this rewind rewind
rewind
pause play
[Music]
an invitation
[Laughter]
it's not feasible that they speak like
that
for the next hour because there's nobody
he's gonna have a clue what is being
said
so yeah as it goes up they do speak
slightly more clear and we learn what
they are playing
all right let me put my beak
us on need to wear our beaks otherwise
we can't be understood very well
yeah that's much better damian would you
like to go to the biggest fair
well why not seems like fun quick dip
first
dear mr german shepherd you are
invited to the village fed
well this will be most delightful
yes cut one come all
to this accepting and wonderful place
this little village which we all call
our home
here at this wonderful village fate
you'll see the tombola over here
and of course the karaoke bar right over
here
sneaks and of course the dance floor
right where i'm standing
oh allow me oh no
thank you ham
now obviously you're all invited for a
reason and that reason is that i
truly believe that you are the most
pious and wonderful creatures in our
little kingdom
for example mr and mrs peacock you gave
so much to charity last year that our
coffers were positively booming
yes brimming i wonder where all that
excess money goes
vicar that seemed rather pointed
it was vicar i simply asked the question
we're all thinking
your golden broach your references yes
thank you you've got yourself a new
golden line pork pie
hat of course i have where else do you
expect me to keep my pork pies
your bejeweled trousers
there's nothing wrong with showing a bit
of glam mr german shepherd you know that
more than anyone
yes i'm quite the fan of bejeweling my
clothes don't you know
as you can see i have my bejeweled shirt
and
my bejeweled hat and of course you too
what do you have to say for yourselves
well we
thoroughly support everything you're
doing for the community i mean
i know the peacocks make a good point
but but really we're happy to give all
of our excess money to you because
you do such a good job protecting us all
we're just happy to be involved vicar
nice to get out of the house you know
two old rabbits like us
we don't often get out much these days i
can't believe you invited them they're
just pathetic
roadkill yes they're very poor as well
what have they been paying you in
rabbit poop come on stanley come on
charlene there's no need to be like this
admit it vicar they're paying you in
rabbit poop
yes that's all we have for god's sake
not all of us have fancy feathers
that make beautiful hats and scarves
come on you've made her cry let's just
remember why we're here
the sun is shining the sun is positively
beaming down
and everybody here is full of joy
happiness and laughter
here in the village of us
yeah we learn a little bit more about
the village of us exactly where it is
and what it's like to be there play
you see i i don't want to brag but
this little village where we live has
just been awarded
village of the year 1985
and of course i couldn't be happier that
all of my friends
are here to celebrate with me how
fantastically
we have done oh here's to you vicar
yes to the best vicar in the village
don't worry
i've got carrot juice
carrot juice for all thank you thank you
thank you
not too much now we don't want anybody
getting tipsy
you see this village on moose
it's a wonderful wonderful place
where everyone's got a smile
on their wonderful wonderful face
it's a place where dreams come true
and a place where we can be
such a happy profitable community
and things great
here at the fate
things are great here at the fate
[Music]
[Applause]
i've never seen such finery
in all my life
and i would only share it with
my lovely wife
yes two bunnies both wives because we're
women i can't wait for the rest
[Music]
great
at the face
[Music]
amazing amazing yeah and the vicar is
doing his best
to describe this amazing
and positive situation at the village of
us at the fate but of course we've
already heard that some of the
characters
don't seem to particularly like the
vicar and suspect him
of maltreating the village or it seems
that he's taxing them or
extorting money from different animals
in some way and now we catch up with
different animals to find out what their
relationship is with the vicar
as they walk around doing different
things the tombola we first of all go to
the two ducks
that we saw before we find out how much
they like the vicar if they do at all
play i'd say arnold what a rotten
morning
the duck pond's been closed off closed
off because of some blue algae
posh absolutely i knew who's behind it
as well
vicar exactly he shut down the pond ever
since last christmas he's not been the
same
he's a bitter twisted man amanda
sorry too early
yes so there was our first premature too
early moment
potentially from the vicar himself
or was it play
but arnold you look like you're having
fun at the fair
it's all appearances damien ever since
last christmas
the vicar what happened to his wife he's
become a bitter
bunny you said you wouldn't do this
you said you'd play with me at the fair
no things have changed damien
things have changed you've changed
go around with your bill on looking all
tarted up
well yes sometime don't die this [ __ ]
know your true color
arnold i've told you before we have to
be regular ducks
and keep our beaks on our faces we're
not picking it down
listen if anyone finds out what we
really are
we'll be locked up it won't just be the
pond gone
the whole park will be shut off and we
will be presumably
destroyed
the world isn't ready to know what we
really are
right there oh
it's still incredibly incredibly unclear
what they really are
it must be said but yeah now we go and
we go back to the peacocks we go back to
the peacocks who are also experiencing
the fate
and they run into the german shepherd
and we find out what the german shepherd
feels towards the vicar
and other animals in the village of
course it's yeah play
darling i'm going to get that coconut
don't be
[Laughter]
shy
oh i'm terribly sorry it's an instinct
you know to catch things as they fly you
stupid dog
my wife threw that ball to shatter that
coconut and wind me a purple teddy bear
i'm hencholdigan i am awfully sorry
i see anything round and flying and i
just well
i just have to chase after it you know
you boy
what is your name my name is fritz
oh yes fritz aren't you the excellent
sniffer dog
that helped us find our lost lost jewels
once
oh yeah yeah yeah in the director's cut
they put a little clipping
of fritz the sniffer dog finding their
lost jewels i'm just going to show you a
little little clip of this it's
incredible
it shows how good he is at sniffing
things out maybe that's useful later
play i can't find my jewels where are
they dogs
quiet what are you listening i have
found your jewels
and don't they look swell
[Laughter]
very nearby anyway we go back to the
main movie now back to the main movie
fly oh my well with the nose like that i
expect you can sniff out
almost anything can you i can sniff
pretty much anything you tell me to with
this schnouts
well we've been looking at the vicar as
of late
and have suspicion to believe that he is
embezzling some fun
that's ludacris the vicar is a stand-up
bunny
if i ever knew one well that may be the
case
but obviously as we are signatories on
the church
if anything would happen to the vicar
all those funds come to us
yes i guess that would make sense if if
the vicar were to die
suddenly out of nowhere all of the funds
would go to you
the carrot juice it was poisoned
mad i'm sorry too early frank let's go
again on that
yeah okay one more time please frank
just wait in your trailer thank you
why haven't they edited that out of the
movie
the actor playing the vicar being told
to stay away in his trailer
for now but it's not too far away now
the murder obviously we now know that
he's the vicar who has been murdered
it's by the carrot juice and as we come
up to the half hour mark
soon that murder does happen also a lot
of the animals start to betray and show
more of their animal physical qualities
as the movie goes on
play do you want me to go again with
that last bit there shall i go again
yes paul thank you if you could if
you've seen it no thank you yes we must
remember to edit this out otherwise
we'll spoil the whole story
of course i don't know all right it'll
be very noticeable yes they're very
comfortable
just do everybody warm up yeah
why does one of them warm up by
screaming in pain
i'm gonna fast forward through the bit
where they all warm up and get back into
character
first forward fast forward fast forward
here we go
he comes on too early again
pause play and that's a wrap for the day
no it's not a wrap for the day because
we have to tell a complex murder mystery
story
with only 35 minutes remaining
play welcome back everyone this morning
here we go picking up from yesterday and
action
it would be awful if the vicar were to
suddenly die out of nowhere
for all of the money in the church would
go to you you being the signatories of
course
of course and then we would look after
it awfully well wouldn't be darling
if my husband cristal he
he also has a something
he wants you to look into those rabbits
that wife and wife couple one of them i
heard had an affair with
the vicar
[Music]
makes his tail go oh
funny i love a good scandal dog
well if you'd like i'd certainly be able
to look into it
yes you lovely pups sniff it out
sniff it out yes i will sniff it out and
let you know what i find thank you thank
you so much
lovely to meet you come on darling let's
go bobbing for airports
julie julie i've come back here's your
poo sack
oh thank you very much jerry no
yes carry on must edit that out that
ruins it again
i'm sorry we're constantly having to pay
the vicar in rabbit poop but ever since
i lost my job as a taxi driver things
have been difficult
i know jerry and it's just it's just the
way everybody
looks at us like we're like we're
nothing like we're nothing better than
this
sack of poo i just want to provide for
you julie i see the way that
you look at those other couples and
they're happy
and they're content oh the peacocks
all their finery but but but the way
they
spoke to me i i just wish you'd stand up
for me for once you know
the vicar always stood up for me he
always spoke up whenever anyone was mean
he had something to say
but you you just stand by like a meek
little rabbit
well it's difficult in this village you
know a lot of people don't like the
rabbits around here and that's why we've
got to stick to our own but
i love you julie and i want to provide
for you and i
will stick up for you i promise i love
you pause
portia we're just going to catch up now
with our participation audience
obviously mrs and mrs rabbit you know
they really look after each other
and in a moment one of the characters
demonstrates to julie their love by
doing something very
very specific so dee dee where's dee dee
dee dee maybe you can suggest what one
of the rabbits does next
what do you want one of the rabbits to
do next goes and buys her
chocolates and flowers he buys her
chocolates and flowers that's very very
nice is there anything also
that might be more more embarrassing for
one of them to do
in front of thousands of people he finds
she finds like a picture of him from
when she was a kid
and like shows it to everyone like an
embarrassing photo
fantastic yes an embarrassing photo of
him is found
perfect play chocolates flowers
chocolates oh flowers one chocolates and
one flowers please oh there you go sir
you could take them
will you take this poo absolutely just
pop it in my
back pocket that's so sweet of you and
and did you see this
i told you not to show that to anybody
julie
look everybody
[Applause]
[Laughter]
[Applause]
[Laughter]
calm down with a nice glass of carrot
juice
lovely nice to have you here vicar
thank you very much oh no
frank drink the juice then die
wonderful and it's so wonderful that
everybody here in the town can be here
to experience this wonderful wonderful
moment
to the continued prosperity of us
[Music]
the freshest carrots prick
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
it could have been any one of them
[Music]
not in 40 years not since the murder
of the founder of oops but that's a
whole other story oh my goodness
who could have i could have done such a
thing i bet it was you
you and you with all your finery wanting
everything that he's got that's right
wanting to steal all his money yes you
were signatures right
everything that was his goes to you you
had the perfect motive believe us
if we were ever going to commit murder
it wouldn't be with poison what do you
think we are
cowards how would you murder someone
well that's
i wouldn't i'd peck them to death if
you're asking murdering intent
you see seems awfully soon to start
throwing out accusations isn't it
no the body's barely cold and you're
already pointing little rabbit paws
well exactly rabbit paws we're rabbits
we won't kill another rabbit would we
julie
no we wouldn't good one jerry oh but you
might have an affair with one might
you what scandal scandal
what julie
julie julie julie julie
julie julie i'm sorry
there he is jerry
i'm so sorry i slept every day in that
taxi for you it only lasted a few years
i can't believe what i'm seeing
[Laughter]
[Music]
right this murder needs a proper
investigation
as a former investigator myself
i will take it upon myself to question
everyone
in the village of us and get to the
bottom
of who murdered the vicar very well take
the peacocks down to the crypt
and start with them oh jerry if you
would be so kind
as to follow me frank we could see you
moving we can see you moving frank
go slower go much slower
[Music]
smells horrible yes it smells putrid
like
old dying lemons that it does
not too long ago you said to me that if
the vicar were to mysteriously die
that you become the signatories it is
very fortuitous
that he were to die so soon after you
revealed this piece of information
that's
complete coincidence i think if he were
to die so soon that would be rather
unfortunate for us wouldn't it
i think we would tell you about killing
someone before we did it
foolish dog you're no more a detective
than i am a goose
that might be true or it might be the
perfect
cover you lead me off the set
with your trickery tell me that it would
be fortuitous for him to die so soon
after you told me you were signatories
mr german shepherd it could not have
been me and cristal
we had no no way of getting to the
carrot juice
who brought the characters out who
prepared the carrot juice it certainly
wasn't
me and cristal that's right and you can
accuse me of anything you
like dog my wife is a true and virtuous
woman
don't forget that i am the only predator
in the village peacock
oh you may dog me all you wish but do
not forget that
i'm sorry it's sometimes i forget myself
i would investigate rabbits they might
not kill one of their own
but they definitely had reason to and
don't forget
the ducks have remained awfully quiet
i'm sure you could sniff out a few
secrets of theirs
oh absolutely come on dog
i've heard there's a couple of strange
poisonous herbs that knock around the
duck pond
the only people that could get their
hands on those or their little wings or
their little clawed
you know oh it's paws yes that peacock
displaying
very very minimal knowledge of duck
anatomy there
but yeah he does go straight to the
ducks he goes straight to the ducks to
conduct the next part of his interview
which involves a hell of a lot of
sniffing
from what i remember play come darling
let us go to the ferris wheel
i like being up high oh yes telling me
to
ah look i've inspected the cuff
and inside it's been poisoned with blue
oaky i know from the pond
my god you know what this means it was
your day no
mustn't be at all of course i i would
never heard the vicar
but this does this look rather
suspicious just because he found out we
were chameleons
doesn't mean we had to kill the man
listen
no one must know that we like a million
okay
that is the top secret we know that
these lizard types aren't
accepted into this community no we're
exotic birds
not examining birds we are we [ __ ]
feel back in
the darkness exotic yes
we must remain incognito as ducks
during our questioning or else we will
be banished forever from the village
but how can i trust you damian that you
didn't do it
well how can i trust you arnold perhaps
you
put the algae in the juice you knew
about the algae after all
you were the one that tongued his wife
last year to death with your big sticky
tongue thing
yes that's true
he said there hadn't been a murder for
40 years
since the founder of oops but he killed
someone a year ago
using only his tongue play
just at the perimeter
a very different area all together
yeah in the director's cut there's a
very quick clip of him killing
the vigorous wife with only his tongue
on the periphery on the perimeter of
oops
play well howdy folks you coming from us
yes we're coming from this this is this
and this is oh i knew that i was here
already why don't you accompany me to
niss
[Laughter]
yes the vicar's wife the vicar's wife
bearing in mind the vicar is a rabbit
his wife was a cowboy anyway we come
back to the main movie
play can i keep your tongue in your
mouth could you damien no
i had to kill that cowboy listen
here comes the german shepherd quickly
oh my goodness
[Music]
ah guten tag mr and mr duck
ritz as you well know i am investigating
and questioning all of the other animals
in the town of us
to get to the bottom of who murdered
safika of course we understand this is
purely a formality please
go ahead with your question i have done
some sniffing around the carrot juice
and there was a very peculiar smell in
the juice do you know what it was
carrots yes but also there is a
very poisonous herb wait you thought the
carrot smell was peculiar
yet it was carrot juice explained there
was this scent
of a very poisonous herb grown
here in oosh house the blue algae
it grows by the duck pond somebody laced
the vicar's glass with
blue algae clearly someone trying to
frame arnold and i
possibly possibly you committed the
murder
but i'm not making any accusations just
yet listen
we committed no such murder
i speak are you all right your beak fell
off your face
must you possibly see a doctor
[Laughter]
yeah freak's the german shepherd very
good with his nose but not so great with
his eyes or brain
no but of course they have been revealed
i believe as
chameleons who are hated by all the
villagers
so this really means that everyone just
thinks it must be them
the case must be open and shut play
you've found out now
you are not ducks at all i wondered why
that other rabbits never found you funny
he's always laughing at birds
we may be chameleons in disguise
but we have never committed a murder
except the one last year
my booth let us out of my jurisdiction
yeah indeed
and it's a much more lack jurisdiction
than you
he doesn't have a jurisdiction because
he appointed himself to detective
he is there without any
any sense of why he should be there
other than he said i'll be the detective
play nether the vicar he knew about
are two identities and of course the
murdering of his wife
we we would never kill him not in us
anyway
are you saying that you are only here by
the generosity of the vicar
yes he knew who we were but we hid with
our person that the others would accept
please do not tell the other villagers
i will keep this a secret between you
two and i for now
but if you have in fact been lying to me
this whole time
you will face justice
as you were ducks of chameleons
you had a flame you're welcome thank you
i will be seeing you soon keep your
tongues out of trouble
hello arnold let's turn
green
that feels good
yeah and that scene ends there and now
we go back to our rabbits who are
desperately trying to
repair their marriage they're in their
little they're in their little
underground bunker
as rabbits do and they are trying to
make things work they're talking through
their relationship and we also learn
a little bit about whether they've got
anything to do with this murder of
course they are the last people
to be interviewed by fritz play
please jeremy let me in i'm sorry i
can't even look at you now julie
you're a stranger to me look you were
never meant to
no find out make it better i know look
please let me in so i can tell you the
truth about everything that happened
all right i would like to know when it
started
oh it was it was two years ago
the last village fate that we went to
and
and you were working all the time you're
in that taxi driving to
driving fro you never had any time for
me in the borough i was all alone and
then
hello hello
is that carrot juice of course it is
right you weren't supposed to put it in
your hatch blank right
it's my favorite may i have something
is he supposed to be in the scene right
now
that is clarified pretty quickly because
if he's not dead
this isn't a murder mystery play
thank you so much and and you know
my husband's been been away a lot
recently i i wondered if i could uh
could have you over for dinner or
something later of course you can
come to my vicarage whenever you like
wow
well you see we're in the running for
village of the year this year
we are oh well that's magical news well
i well i hope we win i'll do anything i
can to to
help us get there well i best be going
home
and by the way you look stunning today
and just like that then oh it continued
and it continued because he complimented
you now we're always at work
he was so kind to me and you were always
gone and i'm
pause sorry just in case anyone is as
slow as me
that was a that was a clever flashback
to the moment the vicar seduced her so
he is dead
and i should shut up play i'm sorry
maybe i could have got home sooner but
you know we live near a magpie nest and
you know i find them funny i'd always
get distracted on the way home
you would laugh and laugh for hours
what you're laughing for tired being a
magpie
pause pause there is a reason why he
finds the magpies funny and that is
because they do do a
fantastic kind of comedy routine
full of puns and kind of physical humor
a tap dance it is really an old kind of
comedy vaudeville act to die for
i'm just gonna they come back in and
they perform that play
you see they're basically a little troop
and you know i just want to support the
kids
one for sorrow two for joy
three for submiss no
[Laughter]
third wow is not as well
drilled in the comment stick as the
other two magpies just watch out for
that as well
you can see how annoying the other two
magpies
are
we'll go again work for sorrow
two for joy three for unhappiness
hey i don't know why you find that so
funny well they've got a long way to go
maybe they've got to get rid of that one
guy but you know you've got to
support him i know it's just what i am i
support people julie
i know you've all they're still
i'm letting them have the back hutch by
the way oh really you are
well not all of us have secrets julie
listen i probably wasn't the
most supportive and most caring of
rabbits maybe i wasn't there for you
but if you're in love with the vicar
why didn't you just leave because
the vicar he his wife had just died and
and it was too soon it would have been
uncouth
yeah i guess it would have been
[Music]
that mean you killed him hide this from
me no i would
i would never do that i loved him i mean
it was it was over but
but i still loved him and i'm i'm sorry
to say that but
loved him you love the vicar
no i mean i couldn't let go no no
i i would never hello
it is me mr german shepherd
yes may i come in please of course
it's a bit of a squeeze certainly
would you like some dirt
i'm all right for dirt for now
i've come here to question you in
regards to the murder of the vicar
i understand you had a very special
relationship
with the vicar is that correct pause and
of course they start to answer these
questions
but all in sentences of no longer than
three words
play so
tell me pause
pause the answers i mean the answers
are in three-word sentences the
questions they could be as long as you
want
play more about your relationship
with we're gonna go we're gonna go again
so tell me more about your relationship
with safika julie
you stop i
loved him i knew it yes i can surmise
that much that you loved the vicar
were you anywhere near where the carrot
juice was being
prepared this afternoon yes i was
i was not where
were you
further away yes
understandable why
were you with the vicar with the cabbage
juice
i was helping helping she says
helping she says indeed
yeah one of the rabbits becomes more and
more like gollum
the lord of the rings or yoda
as the scene progresses and it does
carry on for a little bit longer and
then obviously they leave because it
would seem that our peacocks are just
behind
as we come into the final 10 minutes of
the movie we're gonna start to find out
who done it play
i would never you would never harm the
vicar
i did not yes you did please
maybe you did
is this true did you know
about the affair before your wife told
you
were you pretending to not know about
the affair
or is this perhaps more complicated than
i thought
he knew everything
you knew about the affair this is true
i knew it you knew about the affair yet
you pretended to not know
i'm pathetic rabbits
they can now speak in longer sentences
for the good of all of our help
please tell me more i always knew i
always knew about the
affair from the first day it happened
i drove by in my taxi i thought i saw
you but
but you never said anything and i never
said anything and we just dug ourselves
deeper and deeper into this hole
well i was gonna get out and confront
you but then a group of pigeons
did a tap dance and it was hilarious
kitchens are very fine dancers pause
there is time to see briefly some
pigeons
doing a tap dance this is a very short
but amazing
totally in step tap dance play hey
we go back to the main movie back to the
main movie
play i believe i have heard enough
i will consider what you have told me
and reveal all soon
thank you for inviting me into your home
[Music]
i have one more place that i must
investigate and once i do
i believe i will know who committed this
heinous murder thank you for your
hospitality
thank you german shepherd i will take my
leaf of you
thank you fritz i'm off to poo in a bag
me too
my god darling i was certain they would
see us
back here in their tiny hovel so was i
but no they're all so preoccupied with
their own business
aren't they i'm going to ask you
something
and i want you to answer me honestly
cristal you can ask me anything
did you kill the vicar
of course not how could you even dare
ask me that
i just have to know we've always wanted
money and fine things
yes and i've always wanted to keep you
happy i love you more than anything in
this world and if anything were to
happen to you my
my heart would break into a thousand
pieces i i couldn't live without you
i would dash myself on the rocks
do you really mean that i do
good good
no of course i i love you very much
darling come on
let's go and play whack-a-mole until the
dog finds us
yes
[Music]
right the vicarage this is where
the vicar made the carriage juice
there must be some there must be some
evidence around here
what is this
[Music]
no it can't be
but it is that's right german shepherd
put your hands up
[Music]
you found a bit of my bunny fluff didn't
you
i did find a bit of your bunny fluff
and you were going to to spill all my
secrets tell everyone what i did to that
vicar
well drink up
[Music]
who was that who on earth was that
but yeah it seems another murder has
happened and everything now is about
there's gonna be
twists and turns every single stroke as
this film comes to an amazing amazing
end
play oh no
oh hell somebody please there's
oh my god i just i just came in and he
was he had dropped dead
he's dead he dropped dead when you came
in or you found him like this well just
before i came in
look a smashed glass he dropped the
carrot juice as well well look
you can see chase is of glue algae again
what a fool did he not know it was
poisoned
did he not learn and now the detective
who could have solved this case himself
is dead
it's clear what we must do we now as a
village
must engage our amateur sleuth skills
and solve it ourselves
but look why don't we just
forget that it happened oh admit
julie what's all this
oh jerry a rabbit gun
it fires carrots titanium carrots
why would you do this i mean you have a
lot of reasons actually but but
please i want to help you julie you've
killed
the vicar the man you love and i've come
to accept that now
outside in the taxi i saw you kill fritz
he was an old retired shepherd dog
but why why julie why did you do this
because because i'm just a rabbit
okay no one ever thought i was
cool at school no one ever wanted to be
my friend you all laughed at me you
laughed at me you laughed at me
you drove your taxi all day and all
night and
i laughed at the birds julie don't you
see
those animals we're all laughing at each
other for different things it's part of
the joke
i'm sorry i just i just wanted to
to feel something oh that's
what messed up body rabbit
yeah there's five minutes left of the
film
it looks like we know now who's done it
we still don't know
what's gonna happen when the villagers
find out the ducks
aren't ducks and there's still one more
massive massive twist to go and of
course
some very very intimidating down the
lens
staring play what you just wanted to
feel
something sorry i've lived in the dark
for so long
underground burrowing away hiding my
emotions
julie this
this is not what we agreed i thought you
were stronger than this
you said you could take care of the pair
of them and i thought that i could but
but it's not worth it it's not worth my
whole life my family
me and arnold relied on you we
are the ones who truly wanted them
[Applause]
scandal oh scat you had an affair with
chameleons as well
no no no
beware their towns i was just helping
them look they we made a deal okay i was
gonna kill the vicar and they were gonna
take the vicarage and take over ooze
not enough lizard space for my liking
when a reptile's gonna look in the
village fit
[Music]
it's always better that it's never bad
a gecko and that's wrong
perhaps perhaps we can come to an
agreement yes
perhaps we can find space
for all creatures here in ooze perhaps
we can
live in harmony my
my wife and i we have been cruel we have
been unkind
to the to the rabbit of course
that does not ever excuse murder oh
let's pause yeah we're just about to get
to our summing up i'm gonna throw this
open to the hipkins family the hitkins
family some lovely lovely
sweet looking children in there i'm
going to give you absolute power
here so kids do you want to see a happy
ending where everyone learns their
lessons
or
one more time a bad ending a bad ending
i'm pretty sure we can deliver that yeah
there's gonna be a bad ending when
nobody learns their lesson play
we can all live in peace we can
peacocks
vicar you can come out now
the carrot juice it was the carrot juice
mid
[Music]
that's the wrong type it's the end right
carry on
come on pull it together man it's the
end monologue
right switch on frank we're gonna do a
close up but we'll do it in one take all
right
yes julie never found out about
our affair vicar of course of course she
never did
carrot juice oh vicar
that's an awfully kind
[Laughter]
partial to a character of course you are
why don't you just um why don't you just
drink that down
to you vicar to me
my favorite bit about this ending
is the vicar desperately trying to work
out which
camera is on to do the stare
down the barrel of the camera so he's
tried
twice and he's been wrong both times
meaning
all we've seen is the back of his head
[Music]
well i think we can all agree
exactly why the town of bruce
won best village of the year
oh i'm actually a beaver
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
oh wow thank you
oh gosh that was funny thank you so
so much everyone for your incredible
suggestions on twitter from our amazing
participation panel for all their
amazing ideas
particularly the hipkins kids giving us
a horrible bloody ending at the end
thank you for that parents maybe do get
someone to check on them
um we are mischief and we're going to be
doing mischief movie night in here in
our comedy bunker
until new year's eve so you've got three
more chances to join us you can join us
tonight
you can join us tomorrow or you can join
us on the big day itself new year's eve
it's gonna be an absolute party here
you know within the rules so it'll just
be uh
so to be honest it will just be us but
um do join us online
suggest more ideas and we're going to
improvise a movie for you on the spot
using just your fantastic ideas
thank you so so much everyone and until
we can get a place full and we can see
you all again
stay hit stay safe keep laughing and
we'll see you soon thanks so much bye
you