live from london and streaming around
the world
everything you'll see tonight is
completely improvised
this is mischief movie night in please
welcome your host
oscar hello wow
hello hello hello and welcome
welcome to mischief movie night in
we are streaming live from our comedy
bunker
and everything that you see tonight is
100
improvised so without any further ado
please give it up
for our amazing improvised house band
it's ashani and richard
they're absolutely incredible our
brilliant tech team and camera team who
are putting this whole thing together in
live time
and of course our improvised cast over
there
[Applause]
wow this is gonna be amazing welcome to
mischief movie night in
my name is oscar and welcome to my
lockdown movie night
here in my home cinema i have every
single film that has ever been made in
fact
i have every film you could ever
possibly imagine and tonight
we're gonna watch one film from my
infinite collection of movies
but which one we watch is entirely down
to all of you
the viewers at home watching from all
around the world so if you're
watching from america good afternoon if
you're watching from new zealand good
morning
and if you're watching in london good
evening it's good to see you all
um let's start by meeting our audience
tonight and finding out what we're gonna
watch so what i need
are some genres of films some locations
and some titles
so first of all i'm gonna go straight to
this is exciting i'm gonna go straight
to
chris and rach chris and rach come in
chris and rach can you hear me
oh you're incredibly loud chris
and rach can you can you say hello again
hi we can hear you fantastic what i need
from you guys where else are you in the
world
no we're in manchester manchester i'm
from manchester brilliant whereabouts
well north manchester not really
manchester united lancashire really
old oh yeah okay i know it well i know
well okay so
before we go into manchester geography
anymore
um what i need from you guys is a genre
of film what kind of film would you like
to watch this evening
we'd like a horror film fantastic
fantastic brilliant
okay and if you mute yourself and now i
would love to hear from um
helen reed helen reed come in helen
hi yeah hi uh where are you from helen
i'm in kent
you're in kent and how how how is it
down there
uh well locked in very lucky and very
trafficky
okay okay interesting and now what i
need from you also is a genre of film
what genre do you want to see i'd like a
roman
a roman mu yeah raymond a roman
less less less less a woman lesser genre
more
than someone from rome okay okay
a roman a roman epic brilliant a roman
epic and let's
get um let's get one more um let's go
and speak to um let's speak to
amy khan amy khan come in
hello hello where are you amy khan i'm
in
rhode island in the united states wow
this is so cool literally people are
joining us from
from everywhere this is this is so so
exciting um and
what genre would you like to see i'd
like to see a crime
film noir a crime film noir
prime film not it's great so all these
all these ideas are pretty uh
pretty kind of dark mysterious kind of
tones to them um
so does anyone have a maybe a more kind
of jolly
a more jolly genre give me give me a
little wave you've got a jolly john
yes allison bertel get come come in and
give us some jolly stuff
what do i wanted to do i wanted a
jukebox musical
slash um sci-fi with darth vader
so you you've been thinking about that
all day i feel like so you wanted to
i would do darth vader as a tribute
artist celine dion tribute artist
and star wars in their eyes right
okay i'm gonna put jukebox musical and
then
and then we'll see what you get i think
okay so what i want you to do now
kind of participating audience is i want
you to cheer for the one that you really
really want to watch
don't cheer for the one that you don't
want okay so give me a cheer
if you want to see a horror film one two
three
[Applause]
okay fantastic about three of you are
very enthusiastic about that
okay so horrors not maybe in the lead um
what about a um what about a roman epic
one two three
yes
i think there was a tiny delay so i only
really heard helen
who obviously suggested the title um so
give me a cheer again if you want a
roman epic one two three
okay similar a little bit better than a
horror and now what about if crime
film noir one two three
[Music]
it's in the lead a crime film is in the
lead it's gonna be a crime film with
hints of noir fantastic
unless of course you want to see
something that's more like a kind of
jukebox musical
one two three yeah yeah
[Music]
i'm surprised i didn't think we'd be
doing a jukebox musical but it looks
like we are
doing some kind of jukebox music it's a
musical for sure
and there's definitely jukebox elements
but it's it's more of a kind of general
musical and so hang on so who who
suggests
who suggested that again who who said
that again
i did there you are okay so so give me a
little bit more information then
now now we know what you were doing your
crazy idea what um
give me some more information i really
wanted um
darth vader he's a frustrated tribute
artist he wants to portray
celine dion and so that's why it was
star wars in their eyes
i see i said okay you really thought
about the whole thing including the
story so like a lot of improvising
doesn't need to happen now but um
okay so what i'm going to say is what
i'm going to say is this is a this is a
musical
and because i think we could fall into
copyright infringement issues
if we totally go for what you're saying
i'm going to say it's a musical
it's set in space there's going to be a
few songs that sound very similar
to other songs giving it that kind of
jukebox poppy feel
um and what i need now is um
yes sci-fi it's it's a musical fantastic
um
and what title did you suggest
uh star wars in their eyes star wars in
their eyes okay
fantastic so bearing in mind this is a
musical and it's kind of a science
fiction
set in space musical does anybody else
give me a wave or a hand
up if you've got a title for this film
as well
oh come on otherwise it's all going to
be her idea it's going to everything
has anyone got any any any ideas yes amy
dancing with the star wars dancing with
the star wars
very nice dancing with the star wars and
do we have anything else space musical
give me a wave if you've got something
it looks like this is genuinely what it
says on the thing there i'm not just
being rude to this family galaxy
adventure
galaxy adventure from the muppets over
there galaxy
galaxy adventure okay we're going to
cheer we're going to cheer for the one
that we want either quickly
say that again higgins family strictly
star wars
strictly star wars i like that i like
that a lot of star wars kind of
variations
going on okay so i'm going to jesus and
quasars
lasers and quasars lasers
and quasars okay we're gonna do a vote
we're gonna do a vote okay no more ideas
no more ideas you're getting unruly okay
um it's worse than a family christmas
soom
okay and we're gonna vote for either
lasers and quasars
strictly style strictly strictly star
wars
or dancing with the star wars they're
they're gonna be the ones that we vote
for so give me a cheer if you want
dancing with the star wars one two three
oh oh it's painful
give me a give me a cheer if you want
lasers and quizzes one two three
and quasars is in the lead and i like
that because it's not just star wars
related
and also it comes from it comes from a
child unless of course
we want strictly star wars one two three
hey okay it's called
lasers and quasars it's called lasers
and quasars
it's a musical set in space there's
definitely some stuff that's a little
close to the bone when it comes to star
wars and there is
some amazing musicals some that sound
totally original
some that push copyright infringement
rules
to the very edge of the law um so we've
got we know what we're going to watch
now but i know that as well people have
been tweeting him with different ideas
for specific characters and all kinds of
things
so we're going to catch up with david
dave and bryony
who have some suggestions for us over in
social media corner what have you got
for us guys
hello hello look at the screen screen
all of your amazing suggestions here so
we're going to go straight in with uh
steve roberts who has uh suggested an
award
for the best pair of glasses in a film
which i think we can deliver i think we
can we've got a lot of fun glasses
we spend a lot of money on props so
let's use them thank you steve
yeah and then yeah if we scroll down oh
that was a good one was it
oh yeah go up slightly i like
this you know academy award for best use
of cheese
cinnamon it says in a nautical setting
perhaps in a space setting
the best use of cheese cheese in space
mate we could
that's what you're getting try and get
that in and best supporting role for a
person called oscar very funny okay
keep keep going keep going keep going um
there where's there's no no keep going
keep going
improvisation of a character very funny
keep going a lovely ad there for
samsung's good success
okay no go up go up okay this one here
an economist writes
best supporting act by a sloth
which i think is geniuses
i think those three best glasses cheese
in a nautical setting and
best supporting acts
back to you oscar okay amazing thanks so
much guys
right so before we start i'm going to
just very quickly again just explain
what you're about to see
everything is completely improvised it's
based on suggestions that's coming from
our lovely little participation group
here
and also ideas that are coming direct
from twitter everything you've seen not
only is it being improvised by the
actors but it's being improvised in
regards to where the cameras are going
to go
how it's all being mixed together what
music is being played
everything is being made up on the spot
there is a huge amount of room for this
to go wrong
i really mean that because you know
we've had 48 hours to prepare
and it's all happened very very quickly
so i'm totally excited to see what
happens this is
a musical set in space it's called
lasers and quasars
it's got a moment with cheese in it's
got the best pair of glasses you will
ever see in a motion picture
and it has a supporting role played by a
sloth it's got everything that you need
and a few things that probably we didn't
need if i'm being honest
everybody at home be it on our little
screen there
or if you're one of the people streaming
from all around the world i am
genuinely so excited that you're all
here and we're doing this
please put your hands together for
lasers
and quasars play
all right captain take us in nice and
easy and hey
don't crash into the moon this time
oh don't worry drake i'm on it
here we go uh just taking it around the
orbital thrusters are firing now
firing orbital thrusters and we're
pulling into a nice steady orbit around
rival nine pulling into orbit
very good sir probably try to speak to
the passengers oh please do
this is your captain speaking we've just
pulled into orbit
you i hope you have a wonderful time
here aboard the
pleasure ship the greatest time you
could have in space
yeah some of the dialogue in this film
is suspect
the best time you could ever have in
space but yeah we're going to learn a
little bit more about what this space
shuttle is
is it like a cruise ship on space
what is it what is the whole purpose of
this mission play
that pleasure ship it's like a cruise
ship in space
the rest of the dialogue isn't just a
repeat of what i
say play i'm sorry i don't mean to
repeat what i've just said but
it's a cruise ship in space sir sir why
don't you do
the announcements from now on please
allow me
ladies and gentlemen welcome aboard the
pleasure ship a cruise ship
in space there's all right
sir no i'm not sure i'm even cut out for
this captaining business
i mean i'm the youngest captain they've
had in the space
core in over 10 000 years sir
let me show you something
[Music]
see that out there sir the wide expanse
of space
areas vast and unexplored it's beautiful
out there
and you you sir you're the man who's
gonna guide these people through the
stars
and show them things they've never seen
before you don't think you're ready
but i do sir you know drake when i
started this
i had one simple dream in mind
to take people somewhere they'd never
been before
show them these amazing sights and
hopefully open their minds and open
their hearts a little
if you know what i mean i do
of course he knows what he means because
that's a very simple
thing simple thing yeah but we're
learning obviously he's the youngest
ever captain on this ship he just wants
to show
people the world but we learned if he's
got kind of anyone in his life or
whether he's a little lonely play
well sir i uh i'm clocking off now i'm
going down to the cabaret
on level five you want to come yeah sure
i'd love to i've got any plans tonight
you know drake
oh sir you you don't have plans most
nights
oh it's true i probably shouldn't be
drinking
oh we're on deck you know that's right
hey i'll just leave these anti-gravity
glasses right here
beautiful drink hey nine o'clock i'll
see you there buddy
and hey wear a killer pair of glasses
[Music]
[Laughter]
yes yes i forgot about the surprising
musical number
a surprising musical number that is so
surprising
that it takes the entire cast kind of
off guard in fact i'm just going to
rewind this
rewind rewind me one
play and hey wear a nice pair of glasses
[Music]
i hope you're all having a wonderful
evening
welcome to the cabaret aboard the ships
get ready to house
the time of your life
[Music]
i love this song because it doesn't obey
any of the conventional rules of music
it begins almost without any kind of
intro
then for a long time it's just people
going space space space space space
space
for ages all looking like nobody wants
to sing and then
suddenly three people all start
different verses
all at the same time again just going to
rewind this rewind rewind because you
miss it
pause but eventually eventually just you
know it does turn into
an amazing amazing tuneful song
and then we meet someone else who's on
the ship who's come on to this
pleasure dome this pleasure cruise this
pleasure cruise
to fight to find a little love
themselves
play i hope you have the times
of your life
[Music]
um
it is
[Music]
[Applause]
is
[Music]
is
i'm in charge of this ship i'm in charge
of so much light
but i'm so lonely i'm
itself i've gotten nowhere
[Music]
is
[Music]
yes
[Music]
wow amazing amazing yeah now we stay in
the cabaret bar
and we're gonna meet two new characters
who have come on holiday almost looking
for love play
[Music]
you oh i'm sorry i was just going to ask
if you had a light for my
very long cigarette sure do right here
i always carry a light with me on all my
holidays you never know when you might
need a cigarette lighter
oh perfect wow that is
very very long yeah but we learn we
learn a little bit about these two play
thank you so much martini madam oh dry
with a twist wonderful thank you samson
and sir
martini dry with a twist oh wow
why am i that doesn't happen very often
no i i find it's a unique drink yeah you
know there's not a lot of people out
there who like
drawing martinis with a twist
yeah this this couple are very much a
subplot
in the movie they are perfect for each
other
in every single way but they don't seem
to notice it and there's loads of other
little coincidences throughout this
scene
that shows just how perfect for each
other they are play
so where where are you from oh me
minnesota
galaxy dusted chocolate madam oh my
favorite thank you so much
galaxy dusted chocolate sir well thank
you
we do seem to have ordered exactly the
same
well you know what they say the best
things in life are ordered by different
people at the same time
absolutely i agree oh
wonderful so where abouts in minnesota
you're from
saint paul excuse me ma'am sir
uh we're running low on space here would
you mind squeezing together into this
one chair
i'm not at all happy to help of course
i mean no one else is using those other
chairs
where are those extras who have all just
arrived
play yeah you can steal my chair huh you
can steal my chair
yeah it's sorry paul pause pause pause
that man is not
part of the movie i promise you it goes
back to our two play
yeah i don't know i'm gonna get out of
here come on johnny i'll
take you out here
listen uh my name's bert oh i'm
mirabelle oh pleased to meet you
mirabelle oh
bird i i had no idea that i would meet
someone so
convivial in space of all places well i
know i mean i had this down as uh
thoroughly a solo trip to get after uh
to get over
sorry my accident oh dear
uh back on earth i left behind a real
car crash of a family
your family yes my family
oh you see my son he's well he's in jail
oh my goodness why is he laughing so
much
what sounds like a pretty tragic event
play he's
he's in jail oh i understand sometimes
the most
tragic things you just have to laugh you
know what they say
if you don't laugh you'll cry
you weren't going to
[Music]
me tell me about your family
oh i have no family uh it's just me and
a
small cat named percy wow
i brought him with me wow yes
i hear him everywhere i go he's my soul
mate i suppose
for lack of another one
mirror i will always be here for you
thank you percy well i suppose i should
be going uh
i'm booked in for the cabaret show
oh well uh have a mighty fine time oh
well and the same to you
enjoy the view of venus as we whoosh
past it
i hear that's coming up later pause yeah
i just want to show you a very
very quick clip of venus washing by this
was in the director's cut they got rid
of it but i think it's well worth seeing
it's a quick cutaway of venus play
[Music]
what is that play it's venus
right we go back to the main movie back
to the main
movie play
and uh well if you ever have an evening
on board where you're not
uh doing anything my cabin is
two one six and madam your cabin
key you uh dropped it oh two one seven
oh well don't worry i
i won't listen to you through the wall
[Laughter]
i'm gonna go
and just as they see them getting close
samson
seemed to go and make it weird and now
we go back we go back to drake who we
saw earlier from what i remember
with the captain who i am so at the
moment we only know he's called sir but
he's the youngest captain
and he's desperate for an opportunity to
prove himself which is kind of what this
movie's about in many ways
it's about him waiting for an
opportunity not to just fly a glorified
cruise ship
but to actually do something worthwhile
and it's about him trying to prove
himself play uh two tickets to the
cabaret my good man
and you might recognize captain smith
behind these fantastic glasses
wow those really are fantastic glasses
thank you so much for saying so i
don't know about this drake i feel kind
of silly oh come on
has anybody sat at the captain's table
yet uh yes
this guy you hear that it's you sir
you're gonna sit at the captain's table
it's for you there's a whole place in
there just for you well i know i know
and i've been putting this off but i
must make a show
of it come on let's go into the darn
fabric great time boys
here we are okay the captain's table
is one of the most happening places in
all of the ship
look it's huge and uh if you need
absolutely anything and i mean anything
just uh
let us know hey i heard you're crying
earlier through the wall i'm uh
sorry if uh if uh you're having a tough
time
we gotta get thicker walls on this ship
drake get out of here
where where are you going kakova
from your hat that's right at this
cabaret you get whatever you want
oh thank you so much you're welcome uh
this is belisse
she uh runs the cabaret hi belissa nice
to meet you
nice to meet you too i uh love your
glasses
oh thank you they're just silly old
things i found lying around you know
well if you need anything else you know
where to find me now
nice to meet you honey hey police could
we uh get some of the guys to come over
and give him a good time you know he's
kind of
stuck up yeah we're gonna give you a
good time maybe maybe not toxic joe that
might be a little much no you don't want
toxic joe
he's about to make it start him small
all right get him get it no one ever
lets me give anyone a good time
what about what's wrong i'm gonna put on
a very quick clip of
joe giving someone a good time whatever
that means and it's not what you think
because there's definitely
very young families on our screen
play okay so this is the fun fair
we go back to the main movie back to the
main movie
we got acid dan who could give you a
good time too
all right yeah oh he just throws acid
everywhere that's right i'm acid damn
why am i replaced for this guy i don't
know why either of you work here
i just take people to the fun fair i
organize good
days out what the hell is wrong with
that
feliz maybe just get us some drinks to
start with okay couple of cocktails i'm
on it boys
come on youtube oh would you sit down
drink you're embarrassing me i'm
embarrassing you the captain everybody's
looking at you oh i know but i hate all
that attention
i just wanted to quietly sit in the
background and let people get on with
their lives let them
fall in love and have fun and and make
friends and see the universe while i
just
steer the ship you know is that what you
want michael
you want to just steer the ship and hide
in the shadows
like some creepy shadow captain i mean
you don't want to get out there and meet
people
that's all i've ever known hiding in the
shadows
way back in space core training camp i
just
hid in the shadows the whole time
learning but from a distance
the shade paul's bars yeah there's a
little clip
um in the director's cut again of him
learning in the shadows
at the space cadets and we see that he's
never been
kind of he's he's always been very shy
play rogers
thank you it's academy's going to the
wall
[Laughter]
there he is in the shadows we go back to
the main movie about the main movie
play all right let's uh let's just start
with something small maybe uh
maybe go over that table over there
right there's a a couple of girls there
sit down have a chat
introduce yourself you're the captain
yeah but every time i talk to a girl you
know i
i just get so nervous i i trip over my
words i stumble all over the place i'm
just an idiot
well i gotta see that here's your uh
venus juice
oh sorry oh sorry sorry i just i uh
oh that's fine oh come on i'm always
stumbling over things so
i'll i'll get something to clean you up
would you like a serve yet
ah joe get the hell out of here you're
scaring the captain
thanks uh here's your new
floating space cocktail i hope that's
better thank you
belize right yeah police i'm sorry it's
been a long day i've been doing a lot of
singing tap dances they keep you going
all night oh try quickly space space
space space space
space okay you got to go sorry to keep
you from doing
your job it's uh it's on the house
you know what's on the house anyway
you're the cat i know i know i think she
just gets a little nervous around you
huh
oh god yeah i know everything about that
like i could ever be with a girl that
pretty
oh you uh you like elise huh
sure he's beautiful but come on a guy
like me
i got no chance oh come on michael
you're
you're the captain of the ship i mean
she's great she's smart she's pretty
she's fun
she runs the cabaret there's there's so
many good things about you
and if only you could see that who who
came
who came to you during space camp huh
yeah that's right it's me you came to me
yeah i came to you an ice cap you came
to me and you took me i took you out of
the shadows
i put you on that front desk i got you
answering questions putting your hand up
in class
and who came out with top marks yeah i
did and i owe it all to you drake
no no you owe it to yourself because
you're a great guy
you just need to see that just like i do
what about you drake
you don't have anybody in your life oh i
don't need people
i've got my pet sloth and he is
a hoot yeah yeah yeah i think you'll be
alone
pause pause pause yes
the sloth has begun to enter
but at the moment he can only be seen in
a wide shot
so throughout this scene we cut between
the close-up and the wide the close-up
and the wide so we see the sloth coming
in
play i mean come on answer me this
what do you really want do you want to
just fly a ship into the into the black
expanse of space
or do you want to share that with
someone i want to share it drake
all right and then you know what you
need to do you need to get up off your
ass and start talking to people
well i guess i can try but
i'm warning you it's it's gonna be it's
just gonna be a car crash man i'm just
gonna embarrass myself again
i know it is and that's okay because i'm
kind of
in the market for seeing that well okay
hey dan
[Music]
oh whoever tweeted it
sloth hang your head in shame because
we're gonna have to put up with this for
at least five minutes
how great is this guy what else you got
i'm very tired
in fact the sloth tells a joke from what
i remember
but isn't this guy just the best knock
a man
[Music]
absolutely ridiculous absolutely
ridiculous
we do get to the end of this joke we do
get to the end of this joke
and then eventually eventually michael
finds belise but only after being given
some advice
from his best friend drake play
oh stop
again this guy i love this guy all right
come on knock
knock who's there
[Music]
a man who that's what you did before
right i'm gonna fast forward through
this because he keeps getting it wrong
but eventually he does get it right and
by this point it better be
really funny fast forward fast forward
fast forward
keeps getting it wrong
[Music]
he checks the joke book he comes back
pause
play all right you got it this time a
man
who has
a sloth
[Laughter]
oh my god oh my god
4 000 people at least are watching
yeah the sloth leaves again
the sloth leaves but he doesn't he
doesn't enter
he doesn't leave as quickly as he enters
he leaves on his belly
like all sloths do
i'm gonna we're gonna watch that and
then of course michael
is giving some advice play that's me
that's love guys
i don't know why he started again so
many times it was exactly the same
hey man watch what you say to dan all
right
[Music]
in my cabin all right you get out of
here dad i'll see you later
we got a game of chess we're playing
[Music]
[Laughter]
playing it for 15 years he's really good
there he goes a low status
very low status all right do you think i
should talk to police
yeah of course i tell you what you sit
here all right okay
i'll uh i'll order a drink and then i'll
make some excuse to leave leave you guys
alone
and all you got to do michael all you
got to do is just be yourself
all right come on myself yeah
i'm a mess i'm embarrassing i'm useless
look at these stupid glasses
oh man i think you look cool look you
can do this all right
you're the best guy i know and the best
captain i've ever had
all right hey police yeah
yeah what were you doing dancing again
tap dancing it's been non-stop
hey could you uh get me another
manhattan
yes thank you all right when she comes
back
just be yourself don't worry if you
stumble over your words and mess up okay
you're a great guy maybe lose the
glasses
they're kind of distracting okay all
right in fact i'll take the glass okay
okay i see now that they were distracted
they're uncomfortable too yeah trust me
man you can do this
mars manhattan oh that's for me hey um
i gotta go and play chess with my uh
sloth do you mind just keeping the
captain company he's got a couple of
questions for you
sure i can i can do whatever hey police
how you doing
huh yeah not so not so good i'm so sorry
about your shirt
no no no it's fine i got a bunch of them
sorry
so uh you ever been up on the deck i
have never been up on the deck
no i mean i am often kept in the dark as
a performer down here you know the
bright lights
and the dark cabaret
scene the smoky halls how'd you end up
here
well i was an orphan
and i was picked up
on a small spaceship taken here
to start a new life as a cabaret dancer
but uh yeah i've never uh been up on
deck before i've never
actually seen a shooting star oh wow i
bet you've seen loads hi i noticed that
says on your
table that you're the captain i should
have known that when i
sat you here sorry oh well uh i i i'd
love
to show you them sometime you know you
could come up on deck and i could
me show you the whole darn universe
a lowly performer coming up on deck to
see the stars with a captain
well we could do it right now
wow look oh my i'll open the opposite
observation the observation deck i i get
nervous talking to pretty girls and i
stumble over my words no i stumble over
my steps
look there goes the shooting star wow
look
right out there
the stars you
can see
a thousand million light years
in every direction
what do you think wow
i think it looks so swell it's like
nothing i've ever seen before
i'm feeling something i've never
known i
think something new
is happening inside
i think i'm seeing something
i've never seen before pause pause
yeah and as this song continues
obviously this is a jukebox
musical so this song starts to go
through a whole host of different kind
of pop genres
from abba to take that and loads of
others
play it
feels like
you and me we can see
there is something beyond the stars
there's something out there for everyone
[Music]
soon
[Music]
what i love particularly about this
scene
is how much popular color culture
references and pop music is known
obviously by beliefs
and how michael literally doesn't know
any pop music at all
at all but he does know how to rap
and that is for sure play
yeah i've seen this before something out
here is
happening here we're gonna fall in love
i think
i don't want to say it right now but i'm
starting to sink into your heart baby
i got nothing left to say maybe you
would actually go back to my room
and we could have sex with a broom
i want to take this moment to go back to
some of
our audience let's go back to peter
barnes
and his young child
how are you finding it peter barnes
family
loving it okay okay anything that
involves sloth and a broom
that makes me worry about your parenting
skills but that's okay
that's okay that's okay we're gonna go
back to the movie now
and obviously we're kind of there's only
20 minutes left of this epic
movie and we've set up our kind of main
lovers we've set up our kind of weird
subplot but there is something dangerous
lurking outside of the ship and there's
this really cool
special effects scene now that sets that
up we see outside the ship
in the stars and we see an asteroid
circling around
sex with a play oh my gosh i've never
been able to say that to anyone before
but i have a real broom fetish hey babe
i uh i thought you'd be off early
oh uh michael this is uh this is my
alien boyfriend
you have a boyfriend yeah i forgot about
the alien boyfriend
like he's obviously in there to be
dislikable and he's only kind of in the
field very briefly
so he only has a few moments to show you
know what a bad boyfriend he is and also
he does some really strange
alien stuff that humans can't do i'm
just going to ask i'm going to ask um
maxine rolls can you hear me maxine
rolls
yeah yeah holler olay where are you
coming where you calling from
west wales west wales okay
i definitely heard spain but more
camaron but that's okay
and what can you think of a weird alien
thing
that the alien creature does in this
scene it can be really kind of quite
demeaning to this actor
so don't worry about his pride
so what do you say again what does the
what does the weird alien boyfriend do i
need a really weird
alien quality that he can do preferably
that embarrasses my friend in front of
four thousand people
um
what speaks backwards speaks backwards
yeah he does he speaks backwards you're
absolutely right
play hey uh
i've been drinking all day so uh don't
worry about me i'll be uh
up late and i'll be seeing my other
girlfriends so uh
hello uh
if we rewind that and watch that in
reverse
we should be able to work out what he's
saying
let's watch that in rewind rewind rewind
[Music]
pause play
and just to be clear i'm gonna speak in
my alien language now
i don't like you i hate you you are
pathetic nobody this is my girlfriend
you are a nobody i hate you i hate you
i hate you ah what does he say
he speaks backwards it's it's part of
his
part of his alien thing pause yeah let's
pause pause yeah we'll put it back on
for him to speak
in backwards again as this scene comes
to an end it seems that police
isn't the isn't going to be she can't be
with michael
because of this crazy alien man play
he said he hates you he hates you he he
hates you
illuminati are you i am
[Music]
sorry i told you about the broom thing
no i
i have a scene for brooms too poor
i really think they shouldn't have a
thing for brooms
i think it's unfortunate that our movie
is on them having a broom fetish
but yeah soon this scene comes to an end
and we go to our special effects scene
that i'm very excited about play
i've got to go i'm sorry just go
just get out of here bye michael
bye
[Music]
amazing yeah now we go to our special
effects scene play
all right guys i'll be taking over as uh
captain is down in the uh
it's pretty dark in here guys is there
any uh it's fine i'll be fine
okay and we're going to take us in
gently
oh there it is all right thank you
he has not seen asteroids before bernard
ah that is because of our invisible
qualities
floating in the galaxy all right take us
in hard right nice and easy
now's our chance get closer to the craft
oh let's pause
unusual unusual for asteroids to be kind
of played by two kind of almost
shakespearean men
but yeah we see them soon they're about
to hit the ship
play we shall destroy him horatio i
we shall all right i'm picking up
something on radar guys doesn't look too
much trouble though i'll just skirt
around it
and easy does it uh guys the objects are
coming a bit closer somebody call the
captain for me
calling the captain paul's pause you
might i
you might realize you might realize in a
moment that that
this this kind of moment looks very very
similar to the beginning of bohemian
rhapsody
and it gets increasingly more like it in
a jukebox manner
play
[Laughter]
all right guys uh guys it looks like
we're
set on a collision course
drake what the hell is going on uh sir
sir uh it seems there's two celestial
objects heading straight for us
i don't have time for this right now my
heart is breaking into a million pieces
sir i need you to get your head in the
game we're on a collision course it's
gonna take the whole shift down
she's got a boyfriend drink she already
has a boyfriend with an alien he was
meeting me
sir if you you i need you on deck and
you don't have time to
return to the goddamn baby
yeah incredible incredible special
effects
amazing that scene ends there that scene
ends there and now just before kind of
we go to moments before the asteroid hit
and we now go to our sub
story from earlier our subplot where we
go back to
mirabelle and the other guy who are tr
and they're about to meet in their rooms
in 216 and 217
just as the asteroid is about to hit
play
[Music]
oh i can hear his heartbeat
what was that oh no uh
hello hello on the other side of the
door from a
damsel in distress oh my i've seen some
terrifying disembodied head like
things floating past my window and i'm a
feared don't worry i'll come in and save
you
217. 216.
wow wow you look even more beautiful
now that you're shaded by an asteroid
oh no i've taken my makeup off i'm sure
i'm not as celestial as
as those figures you remind me of my
son who's in prison oh dear give him
of all my family all the members of my
family who came to such
ill face what happened were they on
another space pleasure cruise they
certainly were
[Music]
no don't say it
this is going to be different you're a
different man
and i a different woman and we
we're gonna have a long future together
i'm sure of it
pause yeah and from what i remember
their love is expressed
in a kind of dance number play
i know it i know it in my heart i
i feel it moving through me
let me explain how i feel about you
oh okay i feel like this
well of course because
when i see your face it's
floating through space so when it makes
me
it makes me feel like
[Music]
i just want to rewind this in a minute
you'll see there's a chorus line that
has come on if you
peel your eyes and look very carefully
there is one dancer who is
finding it hard to keep rhythm with the
other dancers
rewind rewind rewind my wife
pause play
see your face and we're floating through
space
and it makes me it makes me feel like
this
when i see your eyes
[Music]
i know your love is true and it
makes me feel like this
when i look into your eyes so blue
my heart skips a beat or two
[Music]
speaking we are on an impact collision
course
please assume the safety positions until
the captain gives you further
instruction
there's the captain who's not a captain
that's the captain hey hey
it i'm hiding in the shadows stay away
from me
captain your ship is under attack from
asteroids you must do
something i can't do anything i don't
know i love how the captain keeps
running out of shots every time the
camera finds him
the captain moves again in an incredibly
frustrating journey of events for all of
the viewers and myself
play i can't do it i'm useless
[Music]
of course you are you went to space
school didn't you no
captain you'll only know if you're a
good captain
when your ship needs you the most we've
all had our hearts broken god damn it
i've had my heart broken 19 times two
i've had my heart broken 19
oh listen you guys are such a beautiful
couple
thank you i met a girl who's just the
same
just like me just as nervous and awkward
and pathetic and bumbly but
she already had a boyfriend so i did
what i always do
i ran and hid in the shadows or maybe
you shouldn't to run and hide in the
shadows it's a great thought
oh suppose yeah this movie gets
pretty deep um and um who haven't we
spoken to yet um
ray and claire get your imagination caps
on can you remember
can you remember what advice they give
him next what advice
do they give to michael
are you there he's unmuting himself
but he's accidentally stopped his own
video
[Laughter]
oh can you hear me no you've muted
yourself again ray
you hear us yes i can hear you now hello
ray
hi hi hi how are you doing
always always take precautions always
take precautions
yeah yeah that's the advice they give i
don't know
ray has recanted it no always take your
time bring your parents to work
bring your parents to work and what did
you say
you always take your pet's clothes on
your date there you go
always take your pet cloth on your desk
your pets
that's good to be honest claire i was
starting to despair of your husband
i was regretting unmuting you both but i
don't i agree
you've saved it you've saved it claire
i'll see you soon
please
we have some street with consciousness
advice do you want to
tell me it's very wise firstly
don't unmute rey in his family secondly
[Music]
always always take precautions
generic precautions the more you take
the more precaution you will be
secondly secondly
take your parents to work some days it
might help
are your parents here my parents yeah
they're on board
good but most importantly of all
most importantly of all always always
take your pet sloth
on a date i don't have a pet slot well
that doesn't work for you then but
that's
all right you can follow the other two
perhaps visit your parents
see if they have any more
with very little time left only kind of
four or five minutes
rather than kind of working out what
happens with
with police and what happens with the
asteroids he very quickly runs to find
his parents who have some fantastic
advice
i'm gonna fast forward through this fast
forward fast forward fast forward
they run really quickly he finds his
parents
pause here's the advice it's very quick
it's very to the point it's very helpful
and it moves the story on play
do something now the ship is literally
exploding
but i need advice to help me find my
inner strength
you've always hidden in the shadows but
we are proud of you
there are lasers on this ship why don't
you do something for once and use them
all right step out of the shadows son
and be the man we know you are
hey thank you father hey
oh my god
[Applause]
because that's just shouting
randomly over one another i'm gonna
there's a really cool
cool kind of extras feature on this dvd
where you can hear a translation
um after after the alien's spoken and it
really helps ground the scene and makes
it more easy to understand i'm gonna
switch that up
play
[Music]
what's happening behind that we had a
really nice scene going on and there's
just some weird wheelbarrow left in the
background
what is that play help
i've been sucked out i'm not gonna do it
i'm not going back into the shadow pause
pause yeah and as they continue to
debate
it looks like police is being sucked out
of the craft
into space surely is he gonna do
something is he finally gonna come out
of the shadows play
[Music]
i'm not hiding in the shadows anymore
i'm here i'm standing in the light
and i'm gonna fight you
quasars and lasers
there it is what an amazing still image
what an amazing still image
as we come to the end of our movie play
oh god oh my god i
killed all the asteroids but there's a
hole in the side of the ship oh dude
it's okay you saved me
i got an idea police we can block up
that hole
with a broom
[Music]
that's close enough god
just winding around okay it's doing it
up
that's it look
michael ship pressure stabilizing
the hole is filled
[Music]
and i know another hole that needs to be
filled oh my gosh
no no because it's a
family-friendly international
global stream so when i press play it
immediately becomes
more family friendly and we end
obviously
we've had the best glasses we've had the
supporting sloth
we haven't yet had the cheese and i
think that comes in the form
of an amazing closing musical number
as all of our loose ends are wrapped up
play
the hole in my heart it needs to be
filled up
by you michael
i would love to fill the hole in your
heart
because mine also
has a hole that needs a
a u-shaped person to fill it god i gotta
tell you for so many years there's been
so many holes in my heart
it's like a big piece of swiss cheese
swiss cheese
my stomach is feeling kind of empty too
would you like to sit down to a
cheeseboard with me michael
i would the cabaret is the best one
hey you look real nice tonight
wow i said that without stumbling
here's a cocktail i made you took it
without me spilling it
oh michael one
[Music]
they do say always take a sloth on a
date
i do
[Music]
he has made it so much better
a single piece
a tiny piece of cheese just like
my heart
a tiny bit of cheese
to fill up our souls
you plus me it
you've got to dig deep
to find your heart you've got to dig
deep dig deep to find a new dig
[Music]
i can't believe i found you on this
cruise
it's like i've known you my whole life i
know and now i found you i'm never gonna
let you go absolutely and with you by my
side
i can forget all about my son in prison
oh
good i'm so pleased i want to be the
only thing you think about
hey i hope there's no hard feelings too
and i got somebody i want you to meet
drake yes sir
you want me to show you guys a good time
we've got so much fun we've got fun to
spare
all the fun of the pair
we've got so much fun we've got fun to
spare
lasers and quasars
there ain't no danger
lasers and quasi
[Music]
danger
[Music]
i say
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you so so much everyone at home
this has been mischief movie night in
we're mischief and we're going to be
here in our underground comedy bunker
until the end of this year we are
determined to make sure that we can
bring some laughs to you
in your home no matter what so if you
want to come back tomorrow the day after
or the day after that and be with us on
new year's eve as well come
on with new suggestions tweet them in
join our participation board
and give us some ideas thank you so so
much and have a great night cheers
bye
you